Here is what some ministry leaders look like
When they pursue God's call on their life:
Here is what other ministry leaders look like
When they pursue God's call on their life:
Which would you rather be seen as?
What's keeping you from that goal?
You're expecting a child, so you notice all the pregnant women and magazine ads for strollers.
You're studying the book of Jonah and an obscure article in the newspaper about a beached whale catches your eye.
You're nauseated and it seems like all the commercials are about food.
These are all clues to lasting personal growth. Ever read a passage of scripture - one you've read dozens of times before - only this time it spoke so profoundly to you? Why this time and not all the times before? Because of your context. The scripture was speaking into what you were going through at the time.
So how can you harness this principle of context-sensitive learning? Invite God into your "here and now". If you're struggling with an issue, don't fight it. Walk with God through it. Look for the learning. Look for the growth edges. If you're celebrating a win, keep your eyes open to what you can gain from it - what led to the success? what did you have to sacrifice?
Your context is what's top of mind. God speaks personal growth into that context if you're awake enough to see it.
What are you learning these days?
Today:
"Boy, isn't this a tremendous conference? The speakers are so charismatic. The material is life-changing. The music is incredible. I can't believe how everything seems to speak directly to me. I'm gobbling up everything I hear. I'm taking notes in the conference book they gave me. This is a great experience!"
Ten Months Later:
"I remember it was a great conference, but I wonder where that conference book went. Did I leave it in the trunk of my car? Maybe it's on the bookshelf in my basement... or maybe at my office. Oh well, there's always next year's conference."
Sound familiar? Conferences come and conferences go. Great content. Great and gifted speakers. But somehow, we tend to gravitate back to the familiar - what we know - what we are comfortable with. Don't get me wrong. There are some conferences when the great "AHA!" moment happens are our life changes forever. But by and large, I bet the vast majority of us have conference binders collecting dust somewhere.
Weave the learning into the fabric of your life
Instead of going to all the conferences that sound cool, why not take some time to first design a master plan of personal growth? Then pick and choose which conferences speak into that plan. Then attend those conferences looking for specific growth points. Then go home with your notes and pick out three things you will implement that fit your growth plan. Then ask a life coach or accountability partner to meet with you at regular intervals to gauge your growth.
Sounds like a little personal growth evolution, doesn't it?
How do you make the most of the conferences you attend?
Job #1 for the ministry leader is...
Not talking.
Not pursuading.
Not vision casting.
Not delegating.
Not preaching.
Not blogging.
Not teaching.
Not fund raising.
Not caring.
Not visiting.
Not evangelizing.
Not team building.
...no, Job #1 is quite simple: Listening...
360 Listening (related post)
What helps us be better listeners?
p.s. Kevin Martineau pointed out recently that LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters
This post serves as a discussion board for the subscribers of the Serving Strong PowerMail. If you are not yet a subscriber you are invited to join in conversation as well. If you would like to know more about the PowerMail, Click here
Go ahead. Lead your ministry by yourself. Serve in a vacuum. Don't let others give you feedback. Don't seek out a mentor. Go your own way.
But let me warn you - you're flirting with danger, my friend.
We were born for relationship. If you serve as a ministry leader, relationship will likely mean the difference between a healthy, thriving calling and a miserable falling from grace.
So, I ask you - who's your running partner?
Who is it that creates a safe place for you to vent and process? Who can you trust to share what's really going on inside? Who are you accountable to? Who can you call at 3 in the morning and get a genuine listening ear?
Got somebody? Good.
Don't got somebody? Bad. Pray for someone. Seek them out.
What do you look for in a running partner?
This is blog post #800 - Are you subscribed via RSS?
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I have a passion to do my best as VP of Operations for Cogun, Inc. In this position, I face a multitude of assignments and responsibilities. Over time, I have realized the value of efficiency.
Efficiency: accomplishment of or ability to accomplish a job with a minimum expenditure of time and effort. (Dictionary.Reference.com)
I also have a passion to support the people who serve with eternity in mind. That's why God led me to open Serving Strong. The skill of efficiency is also important to the ministry leader. Serving strong in ministry means staying as close to peak performance as possible. Using our daily God-given portion of energy wisely allows us to be all God needs us to be. Being efficient, therefore, equals being more available to God. Here, then, are some of the efficiency principles that have served me well over the years:
Difficult First. Do the hard tasks first thing in the day. You will ride high on the euphoria of accomplishment.
Use Tools. Take advantage of good software to track tasks and appointments. I use Microsoft Office (my apologies to all my Mac friends - don't hate me).
Control Email. Read Michael Hyatt's post on staying on top of email (weave these concepts into the fabric of your daily journey).
Group Errands. Don't go to the store one time, then go back to the same location to another store later. Group your errands and go one time to all of them. This is true if you work in an office as well. Group what you're going to take to people's offices. Then go down the hall once.
Block Time. Sequester yourself for projects that take time to get your mind into. Most of the time, I find when I block an hour to do a task, I finish it much earlier because my mind was laser focused.
I bet you have something you could add to this list...
Todd Rhoades, over at Monday Morning Insights, has posted a few thoughts on the topic of church scandal. Interesting reads (both the original posts as well as the comments). I am highlighting these 3 posts because Serving Strong means never having to deal with scandal. Perhaps the more we know about it, the less inclined we are to do it.
Another scandal hits… how should we respond?
Why the media would love a scandal in your church
One church that handled scandal well and how they did it
Here's a resource that just may help you: Moral Integrity Covenant
What are your thoughts on this subject?
Antonio Bryant's amazing touchdown catch against the Carolina Panthers on Monday Night Football. Dec 8, 2008
Ever feel like your ministry is firing on all cylinders?
Ever go home completely energized by what just happened for the Lord of Lords?
Ever feel the pleasure of God?
Take a snapshot of those moments. Then ask yourself these questions:
1) What was happening?
2) Who was present and what was going on?
3) What were your values that were being honored in that moment?
These are quite possibly the activities for which you were uniquely created. Subject to the change in direction by God's Spirit, try to spend 80% of your waking hours engaged in these activities. They will feed your energy level. You will serve strong. Conversely, most activities opposite of these will drain you and usher you into a life of miserable burnout...again, subject to the change in direction by God's Spirit.
Seth Godin posted a thought on his blog recently titled, "Beware The Nile Perch". Here's an excerpt:
"There are bright shiny objects you can bring into your life (that project, that employee, that new office) that might just push the other useful items aside. You get hooked on them or they demand more attention or they make too much noise and the less-shiny projects or people whither away..."
As you lead in your ministry, there are "shiny objects" that will push the "less-shiny" to the side. The shiny may be fun for a short time, but in the long run there may be a price to pay.
What are the shiny things in your life right now?
What are the less-shiny, more vital things/people in your life?
Which things are winning your attention?
Which color?
Which flavor?
What size?
With whipped cream?
When to launch the series?
Which series?
Which scripture text?
What time?
Many options. One decision.
Good will always be the enemy of better.
What's the key to making the right choice? Discernment.
What leads discernment? Humility.
What leads to humility? Time spent with Jesus Christ.
It's up to you. The best use of time and resources starts with humility. Are you up for it?
CHANGE
"For those who have accepted the reality of change, the need for endless learning and trying is a way of living, a way of thinking, a way of being awake and ready. Life isn't a train ride where you choose your destination, pay your fee and settle back for a nap. It's a cycle ride over uncertain terrain, with you in the driver's seat, constantly correcting your balance and determining the direction of progress." (John W. Gardner)
PRACTICE
"The journey to truly superior performance is neither for the faint of heart nor for the impatient. The development of genuine expertise requires struggle, sacrifice and honest often painful self-assessment. There are no shortcuts. It will take you at least a decade to achieve expertise, and you will need to invest that time wisely, by engaging in deliberate practice - practice that focuses on tasks beyond your current level of competence and comfort." (July-August 2007 Harvard Business Review)
You've been presented two thought-provoking statements. Now,
What are your thoughts?
What do you agree with?
What do you disagree with?
caterpillar credit / butterfly credit
Are you a leader?
Want to finish strong as a leader?
Then these you must be:
ACCOUNTABLE
Who do you answer to for how many hours you work in the day? Who do you share your internet history file with? What's the name of your internet filter software? Does your spouse know all your passwords?
TEACHABLE
When was the last time you listened to the feedback from someone younger than you? Or someone older than you? How long do you just sit and listen to God in prayer without saying anything? When was the last time you knelt before God with your nose an inch from the floor?
HOPEFUL
Do the problems of today loom bigger than your belief in a better day? Is your trust built on your abilities or on the God who manufactured those abilities? Do you believe Jesus when He says He "goes to prepare a place for you"?
Now, it's your turn. What characteristics would you add to this list?
Think about those little black felt-tip pens they use at Starbucks. You know, when you order your drink, it's what they use to put the instructions on the cup so they get it right.
I used a similar pen when I went to our company's off-site storage building to write down the slot numbers for where the boxes would go on the shelves.
One pen gets used in a popular, fun-loving atmosphere with a tremendous aroma of coffee wafting in the air. The other pen gets used in obscurity where most of the time the lights are out and a musty aroma of damp paper hangs in the air.
Both pens contain the same thing: Ink. But one pen is used to write drink orders. The other is used to write numbers on shelving slots.
Both you and I contain the same message: The Good News. But we don't necessarily serve with the same gift set nor in the same place.
So be unique. Celebrate who God made you. Stop envying others. As they say, "if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, maybe it's time to start watering your own grass". Let God "write" with the "ink" He put in you.
Steve Furtick spoke at the recent conference known as "The Nines" (aka #thenines on Twitter) put on by the Leadership Network. Here is an excerpt of his video:
"We live in a culture of carbon copy. Mediocrity is mass-produced, but destiny is custom designed. When you embrace the thing that makes you unique, you become powerful. We spend most of our life trying to stamp out our uniqueness. When you embrace your uniqueness, when you surrender your life to your anointing, that's when God begins to open doors."
What makes you unique in ministry leadership?
September 9, 2010, Leadership Network put on the 2010 edition of "The Nines". I've started combing through the Program Book* provided by Leadership Network.
I started with nine game changing truths in a previous post - check it out. Here are nine more nuggets:
As I stated before, this doesn't even come close to being the tip of the iceberg. There is so much information in the Program Book. If you want to know how to turn the information into life-changing behavior, check my post on growing from TheNines.
image credit* If you want to order your own copy of the Program Book, see my earlier post "9 Steps To Growing From #THENINES" (see step #1)
*NOTE: These posts on #thenines are not affiliated with Leadership Network or The Nines Conference. Any difficulty in purchasing/downloading resources must be handled by contacting Leadership Network directly.
Success.
Everybody wants it.
Some strive for quantity. Others strive for quality.
Bigger audiences. More ReTweets. A book deal. A lot of blog post comments...
{{ But }}
Success is neither a destination. Nor a state of being.
Success is overrated, oversold, and overworshipped.
It is a mean taskmaster. Seek it and you'll burnout. Lose out. Freak out.
The Truth?
Success.Is.God's.Alone.
In fact, God IS success. He's always right. Always timely. Always powerful. Always...
So stop looking for success. Stop striving for it. Stop hoping for it.
It's not yours to go after.reach.possess.
Mother Teresa once said, "I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness."
Are you faithful?
To your wife.kids.calling.
Then congratulations. For when you are faithful you are never closer to God.
And being close to God is a universe-sized better than mere success, right?
What does faithfulness look like to you?
September 9, 2010, Leadership Network* put on the 2010 edition of "The Nines". I've started combing through the Program Book** provided by Leadership Network. Here is a collection of just NINE of the great game changing truths that jumped out at me so far:
This doesn't even come close to being the tip of the iceberg. There is so much information in the Program Book. If you want to know how to turn the information into life-changing behavior, check my previous post on TheNines.
* My hats off to Todd Rhoades for all his hard work on The Nines concept. You can connect with him on Twitter.
** If you want to order your own copy of the Program Book, see my earlier post "9 Steps To Growing From #THENINES" (see step #1)
*NOTE: This 9-step program for personal growth is not affiliated with Leadership Network or The Nines Conference. Any difficulty in purchasing/downloading the resource must be handled by contacting Leadership Network directly.
Wow, what a tremendous flow of information that streamed yesterday! If you participated at all from The Nines conference brought on by Leadership Network, you witnessed video after video come at you with multiple game changing truths. What are you going to do now? How are you going to take that huge pile of valuable information and weave it into the fabric of your life and ministry? If you're not careful, all this good stuff will end up burning you out.
Here are NINE steps to help you get the most from #THENINES:
1) If you haven't already ordered it, Go to The Nines Resources page (which was offered during the conference yesterday) and order your copy. I ordered my $29 copy and received a confirmation email with a link to download the 141-page, 15+MB pdf file which I then saved to my hard drive.
2) Pray that the Holy Spirit guides you as you look over this tremendous wealth of knowledge. There is a lot of good to sift through. But good is the enemy of great. Only God can lead you.
3) When you get your copy the first thing you want to do is scan the resource. Starting at page 21 with Dino Rizzo, flip through and dog ear the topic titles that seem to jump out at you.
4) Next, go into the notes of each topic you dog eared and look for ONE Nugget of truth in each topic that really speaks to where you are right now. Jot those Nuggets down on a piece of paper.
5) By now, you may have several Nuggets of truth on your paper. It's time to start filtering. Less is more. You grow the best when you can give your undivided attention to a few things instead of flying shallow over many. Hone in on the 5 most significant Nuggets of truth.
6) Now, rank those 5 Nuggets in order of priority. If you could only integrate one, single Nugget into your life, which one would it be? Then, which would be next? And so on...
7) Unpack Nugget #1. Brainstorm all of the possible actions, attitudes or behavior changes required to make this nugget a deep, abiding thread in the fabric of your life.
8) Commit to these actions, attitudes and behavior changes over the next 7 days. Enjoy the journey. Journal what you learn about yourself, if you're inclined to journal. Say focused and clear on this one Nugget for the entire 7 days. You may get bored with the topic. Don't give in to boredom. Stick with it. Once you get through the dip of boredom, you may just reach an "aha!" moment. You don't want to miss that, do you?
9) Finally, repeat steps 6 and 7 for the remaining Nuggets. That's it. 5 Nuggets. 7 weeks each for a total of 5 weeks.
The cool thing about this 9-step growth planning method is that it can be used not only for THENINES booklet, but can be adapted for any book you set out to read. May God continue to lead you as you grow in Him.
*NOTE: This 9-step program for personal growth is not affiliated with Leadership Network or The Nines Conference. Any difficulty in purchasing/downloading the resource must be handled by contacting Leadership Network directly.
Are you going full out in your ministry assignment?
Are you feeling God's pleasure as you serve in response to His unconditional acceptance of you?
Are you having the time of your life?
Are you making your sax sing?
How does this happen? It happens out of an unshakable hope in the God who calls you.
"...those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40.31)
image: Michael Austin and Rob White playing with the band Soundoctrine at a local Jazz Fest
What scriptures do you know that address the topic of going full out for God?
Some of the things about effective leaders (in my humble opinion):
What will you add to the list?
image credit: Victor Bezrukov
After conducting some research online last night, I found the following web locations dealing with the topic of pastor burnout. Some are new. Some have been around a while. Check 'em out:
Pastor Burnout - The Silent Ministry Killer
No Rest For the Holy: Clergy Burnout a Growing Concern
Four Questions Spiritual Leaders Should Ask To Avoid Ministry Flameout
Reframing Pastor Burnout And Pastors Leaving Ministry
Pastors Often Succumb to Job Burnout Due to Stress, Low Pay
Protecting Your Pastor
Pick one or two. As you read them, please return and share your comments. I firmly believe that as pastors enter into the discussion, together they can help each other out. It's my desire to provide a safe place in which to do this. Come on, let's eliminate burnout from the pastoral equation!
I'm writing this post specifically on Serving Strong (in the "Doing Ministry Well" bucket) because talking about money from the platform has historically been an energy-draining issue for many'a pastor. But it's something that doesn't come with an easy answer. That's why I need YOU, my readers.
Here's the question we are addressing:
How does a pastor talk to her/his congregation about the decline in giving?
Here's what I need from you:
Perhaps there are pastors out there who are struggling with this very issue (especially in this economy mid-Summer) and they need some guidance. So, let's pull our resources together and help one another out. Whad'yasay? Thanks!! image credit
Long, long ago in a land far away lived the little letter e. e grew up in the land of Alphabetville until he reached the ripe age of E. That's when our story begins...
E woke up one morning and went to work. He worked like all the other letters. In the word factory. All day, from 9am till 5pm the letters of Alphabetville labored to make words. Short words. Long words. Strange words. Simple words. This was their life. It's what they talked about in the evenings at home or in the pub.
This one particular day, E stopped what he was doing and looked around. "I declare," he declared, "I am in most of the words around here." This epiphony hit him so hard that he started to feel quite proud of himself (despite there was no "E" in proud). He began talking about how prominent he was in most words. He bragged to J. He bragged to M. He bragged to Z. He bragged to all 25 letters but mostly, he bragged to his neighbors, D and F, about how important he was.
This went on for weeks. D and F had had enough. One night, they agreed to meet at the pub after work but didn't tell E. They devised a plan to inform the rest of Alphabetville to stop making words in the word factory until E got the message.
The entire population of Alphabetville (from A to Z) agreed. The entire population, that is, except E. For E didn't know anything about the plan.
So, that next morning E went to the word factory like any other day. But this day he was all alone. "Hmph," he thought, "I don't need the rest of the letters. I'm in most of the words anyway. I'll just work like nothing is different. Then I'll get all the credit. They'll see!"
He proceeded to make a word:
"_ _ E"
He knew it meant "one" but it didn't look right. "No bother. I'll just make another word." he thought to himself. So he crafted the word:
"E _ E _ _ _ _ E"
He thought, "Hmmm, that doesn't look like the word 'everyone'. I'm in it 3 times but it still doesn't work."
This went on all day. E was exhausted. The 5 o'clock whistle blew. Time to quit. Worn out by all the futile wordsmithing, E went to the pub to get a drink. Half way through his root beer, it dawned on him.......... *
*author's NotE: This simplE story nEEds a conclusion. Can you hElp? UsE a comment bElow to writE your vErsion of how it should End. I challEngE your crEativity. (oh by thE way, this is part of BridgEt ChumblEy's blog carnival on thE onE word, "Ego")
It's best to handle our anger constructively. Instead of stinking up the whole environment around you, consider a "courtesy flush". Here are some ideas...
Go for a walk
Go into a room and close the door and pace
Pop in some driving music and put your headphones on
Exercise
Throw the frisbee with your dog
Go for a drive
Stand up and stretch
Play some basketball
...what other ideas can you add to the list?
Leadership is difficult.
Listening is your ally. But who do you listen to?
I have a suggestion - Listen in 360 degrees:
Listen to those ahead of you. They have lived longer than you have. Listen long enough and you'll get some great pearls of wisdom. They've already invented a lot of wheels for you.
Listen to those behind you. The younger generation knows a lot these days. Not only can they program your phone with mind-blowing speed, they have keen insight into what their generation thinks and feels.
Listen to those beside you (your good side). Your colleagues know you better than you'll probably care to admit. They see you every day. They know your faults and your failures. Listening to them keeps the emperor clothed.
Listen to those beside you (your bad side). It's also good to hear from those who disagree with you. In most disagreements, there is usually a grain of truth for the leader who listens. Most times, the opposition can be the key to a well-rounded perspective.
Listen to the One above you and in you. Jesus Christ didn't descend to earth just to be the best selling story in history. He came to show you the way. And He is alive and well. Seek His guidance for every opportunity; every decision; every expenditure; every sermon topic; every counseling session; every... (you get the picture).
THAT is what I call 360 Degree Listening.
RELATED POST: How To Listen
Who do you listen to on a regular basis to keep your leadership strong and healthy?
It happened in a remote marketplace tucked somewhere in the ancient East. Vendors sold alabaster pottery. This pottery had to be good; good enough to withstand the brilliant light emanating from the blazing sun above.
Some vendors took chances. If their pottery wasn't made well, they would fill the flaws with wax. Anyone looking at them in general would likely miss the flaws and purchase what they thought was a fine piece. The best way to test the pottery in those days was to hold the piece up to the sun. Any flaws would show through, revealing any wax that had been added by the vendor. What was considered genuine (or "sincere") was a piece that was "without wax."
AUTHENTICITY
Sandra Zimmer, over at Speaking Freely, talks about being genuine:
"The term “being genuine” is more about how you relate to other people. You are genuine when you reach out to others in a caring and authentic way. Being genuine means being warm towards other people."
How authentic are you in your interactions with others? How authentic are you in your ministry, your speaking? I have to admit I tend to "add wax" to my flaws, making me look better than I really am. But I've found that this always ends up demanding more energy than I have to give. I go home fatigued and drained.
RELATED POSTS:
Is Self Care the Opposite of Sacrifice?
So, what can you add to the conversation about being authentic and "without wax"?
Sitting on the deck in the hot sun the other day (rare for Ohio).
Took off my glasses. Put them on my chest and lay back in the chair. And basked.
A few moments passed.
Being a fair-skinned white boy, I felt it wise not to overplay my hand. I needed shade.
I grabbed for my glasses to put them back on by face.
OUCH! Man, were they hot!
You scientists reading this post could explain what happened with greater aplomb than I.
But I think it's quite simple:
The glasses absorbed the heat of the sun and became hot to the touch.
Do you absorb the heat of God's unconditional love to the point where you are "hot to the touch"? Other words, do people see God's grace and love through your life? I felt the sun's heat when I touched the glasses. Would I feel the love of Christ if I came in contact with your life? Would you feel the love of Christ if you came in contact with my life?
I certainly hope so.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5.14-16
I need your input to complete this post. Help me out.
HOW do you absorb the heat of God's love?
Serving strong is anything but a life of hedonistic leisure in ministry. It has nothing to do with a new agey "find the answer within you" kind of lifestyle.
Ministry is anything but easy. Working with people is slippery and messy. When you add the dimension of good and evil with the backdrop of eternity, you've got the making of a life that burns out.
The coaching, blogging, and PowerNews I maintain through Serving Strong is "Anti-Burnout" and "Pro-Burn". Let's define Burn:
Burn is going full out. "Charging the hill" for God. Living any way but timid. Burn means spending yourself. Going home exhausted. Living in the moment. Working hard. Giving it everything you've got. Pulling no punches. Staying true. Staying focused. Taking no prisoners.JACook tweeted today this quote: "Joy comes from using your potential." How great it is to come to the end of the day, lay down on the floor and sigh a deep sigh of contented exhaustion! Used by God for His purposes.
Burnout is simple. It's doing all the things above in your own strength.
God has laid it on my heart to help you, the ministry leader, serve in God's strength. To serve strong. I believe the better we are as spouses, parents, financial stewards.... the greater our serve will be (the more available we will be for God's work). God's coming back. In the meantime, there is work to be done. People hurt. Stay strong for them. Burn, baby, burn!
How do you burn without burning out?
...Soooo, I was just thinking of what we can learn from morning breath and personal growth (kudos to the person who inspired this post - who shall also remain nameless...and, no, it wasn't my wife!):
1. Morning Breath Stinks. Ever talk with someone in the morning and quickly realize what they had for dinner the night before? (Ahhh, Olive Garden, eh?) You've been there. So have I. Perhaps you were the one who ate at Olive Garden. I know I have. We each possess the potential to get stuck or lazy and not develop personally. We see a 2 year old to throw a tantrum. That makes sense. Watch a 42 year old to throw one. That's sad. Immaturity stinks.
2. Morning Breath always returns. It doesn't matter how hard we brush our teeth at the end of the day. This nose-hair-curling aroma will return and must be dealt with again and again. Same with personal growth. There is no conference or book that will instantly bring us to full personal development. Our growth is a daily effort. It's a marathon cleaning. Not a miracle dentist visit.
3. Morning Breath is no respecter of persons. I bet even John Maxwell or Joel Osteen must be avoided in the morning until they exercise oral hygiene. No one has arrived. Not even you. And certainly not me. The minute we think we don't need "mints", watch out! The moment we think we're actually pretty good, that's the time to step aside and get help. Good news: "When the student is ready, the teacher shows up."
Okay, I've come up with 3 principles about Morning Breath. How about you? Who's got the 4th?
RELATED POSTS:
"Sure, I can help you with that." I hung up the phone. Then thought, "How am I going to help them? I've already got too much on my plate."
Ever do that before? I bet you have. It's hard to say "no". We don't want to disappoint. We don't want to miss anything. Truth is, we don't see the cost associated with a "yes". Time is finite. A day will always be 24 hours. The energy we can expend in a given block of waking hours is fixed. So, when we say "yes" to one commitment, we are saying "no" to another. All that is background for the point of this post:
Compaction Lessens Compassion. Busy-ness is the bane of compassion. I push compassion to the side when I have too much to do. In fact, people are actually a nuisance when I'm too busy. The very folks I must have compassion on are getting in my way. Can you believe that? But that's not their fault. It's mine. Jesus was full of compassion. As I follow Jesus what kind of example do I display when I'm too busy for compassion?
Frank Viola and Leonard Sweet recently published a book called, Jesus Manifesto. The following is an excerpt:
[God is saying to us]: "When people saw [Jesus] in action, they were seeing Me in action. Now He dwells in you, and when people see you, they are seeing Him. And the more space you make for Him in your life, the more clearly the world will see Him. So give Him room. Let Him gain all of you so He can be seen again, to My glory and pleasure."
So the next time I am faced with a decision to take on something new, I'm going to STOP! Ask myself, "God, is this opportunity from You, or will it compact me so tightly that I have no margin for compassion?"
How about you? How tightly are you living these days?
RELATED POSTS:
This post is part of a Blog Carnival on the one word - Compassion. It is being hosted by Bridget Chumbley.
Feeling like David against a Goliath of workload? Intimidated at the odds stacked against you? Here are a few posts from the past that speak into your situation right now. Check them out and see if you can find the "5 stones" you need to slay your workload giant:
Life Preservers for A Sea of Overload
Have you read a post online that helped you get a handle on your workload Goliath? Enter the information below in the Simply Linked widget.
This post is for the one who leads other people in ministry. Do you lead staff members? Do you lead a base of volunteers? Your capacity to serve strong depends on your ability to lead others effectively. That encompasses a lot of skills. I will focus on one:
Do You Care?
Michael Hyatt recently posted an article on his blog about leadership. It's entitled, "John Wooden and the Power of Virtue in Leadership". Here is an excerpt lifted from that post:
"...research has shown that an employee’s rational and emotional connection to his supervisor is one of the most important factors affecting employee engagement."
The emotional connection with followers is something that doesn't always occur to the leader. There are visions to cast, big pictures to paint, goals to set, and networking. But without that emotional connection, you run the risk of being surrounded by a host of people who are silently struggling to produce.
Teddy Bears take time to listen to what's going on in the lives of people. They care. They seek to understand. Porcupines blindly bark out commands with little or no regard for life's insignificant details.
Ask your staff or volunteers this question: "On a scale from Teddy Bear to Porcupine, how would you rate me?" How do you think they would respond? How do you know for sure?
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I am an expert. I know that comes as no surprise to you (*smile*). But before you fall down and worship at my feet, let me go into a bit of detail...
What is Hurry?
Hurry is when we feel the pressure to go in 15 separate, but equally, important directions at the same time (at least we think they're important but don't know why). It's a feeling of uneasiness and angst. Perhaps you've felt it yourself. There is little peace. The further you go the more behind you get. You are stretched in an unhealthy way. Hurry is not of God. Hurry is of the Enemy. It is not healthy. It's no way to live.
I am an expert at Hurry. It's my default. It's my specialty. With God's help I am getting worse at it and better at...
Intention is when we feel the passion to go in a direction that is in alignment with God's plan. It's a feeling of flow and rhythm. Perhaps you've felt it yourself. There is a deep, settled peace. The further you go the more you get accomplished. You are stretched in a healthy way. Intention is of God. Intention is not of the Enemy. It is healthy. It's the only way to live.
I am not an expert at Intention. It's my hobby. It's my ambition. With God's help I am getting better at it.
What about you? Do you hurry, feeling like there's this faceless force out there somewhere judging you if you don't please everyone as quickly as possible? Or are you intentional, doing what must get done, knowing it's the right thing to do?
The path from Hurry to Intention requires a dynamic, intimate walk with Jesus Christ. After all, how else will you know what to be intentional about in the first place? If you haven't cultivated this key relationship, perhaps that's the first step...
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I'm interested in your thoughts. Feel free to comment.
Yesterday I posted an article written by a pastor's wife entitled, "The Right Gear." Here's an excerpt:
"Let me say that I know what it is like to live under a blanket of unspoken expectations and feel the pressure of what I’m supposed to do as the pastor’s wife. I know many ladies who are still living that way. As independent as I am, I soon discovered that by myself, I could not change that pressure in any way that I tried. Talk about being frustrated. Thank God for the example set by our pastor and then continued by my loving husband."
I did a quick Google search on the phrase "Married To The Ministry". Here are the top 3 results I got from that search:
There are many, many more resources out there to address the unique needs and issues facing those of you who's spouse is a ministry leader.
What resources can you add?
The following was written by a pastor's wife. If you serve in ministry and you are married I believe this will be a blessing to you. If you know someone who is in ministry and married, please share this with them. It's worth the read.
____________________
While I sit on the back of our motorcycle and my husband takes us home from General Assembly in Orlando, Florida, it hits me that our life in ministry is much like riding this bike. Ministry in itself is an unconventional way of living. Not that it isn’t rewarding and full of blessings, but it is a little different than most other professions. In a similar way, motorcycling, even as a passenger, is definitely an unconventional way of traveling. It takes more effort, more gear, driving more defensively, and you feel every kind of weather element there is. Now, with almost 20 years of ministry and marriage under our belts, my husband and I have realized that with the right “gear” and some extra effort in learning the curves of the “road” and enduring the ever-changing “weather” in ministry, we can live a life of freedom from the pressures and assumptions that ministry often brings. With this eye-opening way of life, the last ten years have been an unforgettable adventure in serving the Lord.
When we were just starting out in ministry things were interesting. Freshly married and fresh to ministry is a unique recipe. My husband and I are fourth generation Nazarenes. That is a wonderful legacy and we thank God for our heritage, but a strong heritage doesn’t exactly help when trying to learn how to maneuver through the curves of ministry that become a part of your marriage. All we have ever wanted to do was what the Lord wanted us to do, so we dove in. Thankfully, things went pretty well. God was gracious and blessed our efforts, but during this time, I was trying to figure out what my role really was. Sometimes it felt like I had a target on my back and anyone was allowed to aim and fire at will. I couldn’t figure this out. All I did was fall in love with a “God-called” man. I was unprepared for all of the “bumps and potholes”---the pressures, that come along with this life. Through many tears, times of prayer, and letting the Lord lead, we survived, but there were some pretty dark days.
Ten years into our ministry and marriage, we were privileged to be on staff at a great church in North Carolina. My husband was just finishing a graduate degree and, while we were happy in ministry and in our marriage, the role of ministry in our married life was still something that we struggled over from time to time. It was about this time that the Lord led us to a life-changing place and introduced us to a great leader of the church. Though we didn’t fully understand it at the time, his strong leadership created for us an umbrella of protection.
In our personal interview during the hiring process, his words felt like magic when he said them. And when he did, a new life came forth in me. Here is what I remember. Our Pastor went through all of the necessary new-hire items and then he spoke directly to me (incidentally, in what other profession does the wife attend her husband’s interview?) He told me that he wanted to make sure that I knew that he was hiring my husband, not me. He stressed that if I needed to just be a part of the congregation, that was great with him. If I felt led to do ministry, that was great with him, too. He just wanted the Lord to use me as the Lord intended.
Wow! It wasn’t a totally new concept
But no one had ever convinced me that I was allowed to be used by God as He intended, not just as others intended. Our Pastor valued me as a person and a member of his congregation, not just as a “pastor’s wife.” Not surprisingly, his attitude carried on through the board and leadership was well. I had never known such a welcome freedom in ministry. For the first time I understood that this was what I was longing for. This protective covering was one of the first pieces of gear that my husband and I learned to wear for this adventure called ministry.
As the years have sped by, my husband, now a lead pastor himself, has only strengthened and added onto the “gear” that we use for ministry. While working with church boards and other leadership teams, he reinforces the idea that they would be hiring him not me or our son. Every time this has been brought up, everyone in the room or conversation totally agrees. Let me tell you, this simply concept has had life-changing meaning for me! I can now experience freedom wherever we go. I can be totally used by God and lead by Him to do what He wants me to do. This has also given our son the freedom to be himself. We don’t live in a glass house anymore.
Let me say that I know what it is like to live under a blanket of unspoken expectations and feel the pressure of what I’m supposed to do as the pastor’s wife. I know many ladies who are still living that way. As independent as I am, I soon discovered that by myself, I could not change that pressure in any way that I tried. Talk about being frustrated. Thank God for the example set by our pastor and then continued by my loving husband.
If you have ever ridden on a motorcycle, especially as a passenger, you know that there are things that you need to make the ride more enjoyable. You need eye protection, a helmet, the right type of clothes (leather jackets during cold weather, gloves, etc.), rain gear for those rainy days, sunscreen for those hot ones. All of the above and many more things help to make the ride more fun. While I was first learning about riding, my husband would give me these things when the time called for it. I think he wanted me to really enjoy the ride so I would ride again with him. He was right. The ride on the road is now so enjoyable for me, that we make plans almost weekly to take a ride. You see, I know that no matter what may come up, weather changes, pebbles that fly up, or bumps in the road, he has already provided for me the gear that will help me get through it without devastation.
Riding through this life of ministry, my husband has again provided the “gear” for me that protects, shields and guides me through this unconventional lifestyle. It is a crazy thing in ministry, but full freedom for the wife really comes when her husband creates an umbrella of protection. In my life, I just needed someone to say that I could be used of the Lord instead of being used by the church. My husband tries to always make it known that his family isn’t part of his paycheck. In other words, we are off limits for preconceived expectations. Within this umbrella of protection, my son and I love to involved! I choose to listen for the Lord’s guidance to join activities and I do those because of the Lord’s leading, not because I am supposed to.
Life is really short and ministry is sometimes pretty hard. So my heart’s cry for all the couples that find themselves serving is to strengthen their marriage right in the middle of their ministry. I have witnessed too many couples leaving the ministry due to not knowing how to deal with it in their marriage. Or there are those couples that just keep trudging through year after year. I refuse to accept that life in ministry is a long life of suffering! I don’t have a rule book to make it easier, but I have found a few things that make it less hard and much more enjoyable.
I am a pastor’s wife, but I am first my husband’s wife. This is the perspective that keeps me focused and lets me live a healthy life in ministry. I do need to say that if it were not for my husband’s willingness to be sure I had the right “gear” for the ride, we would still be searching and looking for something to make our life better. It is not always up to the pastor’s wife to “find her way” in ministry. I proclaim that it is upon the husband to provide her with the “gear” that she will need as they travel this unconventional life together.
Look for a list of resources in tomorrow's post based on this article
Last Sunday I was enjoying the sunshine out on the deck (a rare occasion for an Ohioan). Perusing the Twitter flow, I came across the following Tweet from a pastor I follow,
"Luv my job." When was the last time you could honestly say that and mean it? If it's been recent, good for you. If it's been a chronic condition, DOUBLE-good for you!
What makes a person LUV their job? Here are a couple thoughts:
I LUV my job when I am spending myself for the benefit of another. There is no doubt about it. When we help someone else out, there is a residual benefit. Inside every person who cares for others is a heart of selflessness. Perhaps that's why a wise person once said, "It is more blessed to give than receive."
I LUV my job when I am using the gifts God has given me. There is a habit among people who sustain strength in ministry leadership. It's called "Align". Proper Align means to spend 80% of your waking hours engaged what honors your passions, personality, and proficiency. When we are trying to be someone we are not, it takes more energy, leaving us fatigued at the end of the day.
I LUV my job when I am alert enough to seize moments of opportunity. We don't merely rest from our work. We work from our rest. When we see rest as an investment in future ministry, we get serious about it. We block time for it. We make it a priority. And when we are rested, we are more alert. God will provide the opportunities for ministry. When rested, we are able to see them when they come along.
What about you?
What makes you LUV what you do?
You are busy. Nothing new, right? Busy-ness has always been a part of your equation. But in these days, you are BUSY, I mean B-U-S-Y, busy.
More work to be done.
Less help to share the load.
The "to do" list doesn't seem to shrink. Something is feeding it and it's getting bigger. Seems the more you chip away at it, the larger it becomes.
Welcome to the New Normal.
What's a ministry leader to do? You intuitively know the value of setting priorities. It's the best use of your time and energy. It's conventional wisdom. But in these days, you need more than just conventional wisdom. You need to up the ante. You need a new and improved skill set. It's called...
UBER PRIORITIZING
Uber is German for the word "above", but more commonly used on the internet for being the best, the top, the supreme, the highest of highest (according to the Urban Dictionary)
Prioritizing is to arrange (items to be attended to) in order of their relative importance.
Are you a "Uber Prioritizer". Here are four links to help you on your journey to become one:
What do YOU do to prioritize your work?
During a coaching session with a client this morning, I was discussing the coaching concept of "Bridging" people. Below is an updated version of a re-post of the concept:
As people helpers, we come into contact with others' issues. We are called to bear one another's burdens. But how do we maintain perspective and strength to avoid letting others' burdens get us down and make us incapable of serving strong? We "Bridge" people.
What is "bridging" people?
Picture someone sinking in quicksand. Picture a bridge spanning the gulf of the quicksand pit. You are on the side of the pit. You have 2 choices.
SINK. One choice is to jump into the pit and try to help them out. This is a common thing to want to do. But that would only put you in a position to have to save yourself as well as the other person - you could sink in their quicksand and be no help to them.
Jumping into the quicksand means we've allowed ourselves to fall into a level of responsibility for others' choices. We over-identify with them and feel it's our fault they are in the quicksand and we are responsible for their choices. This is uber-empathy. It is NOT healthy
BRIDGE. The other choice is to walk onto the bridge, reach down, take their hand and walk them over to the side of the pit - pulling them out. That way, you stay strong and they get all the help you can give them without you becoming part of their problem.
photo creditBridging means we've preserved our sense of responsibility to obedience to Christ alone. If the other person chooses not to change, we know our self worth is still tied to WHOSE we are, not whether the other person gets better. This is appropriate empathy. It IS healthy.
What burdens are you helping others carry these days? Are you bridging them? Or are you struggling with over-identification as you sink in the quicksand alongside of them?
The score is tied 3 to 3. It’s the bottom of the ninth. Two outs. The count is 3 balls, 2 strikes. The pitcher has just received the signal from the catcher and is winding up to throw the next pitch.
[PUSH PAUSE]
Look into the eyes of the batter. Notice what’s going on. Everything around him fades away. It’s just his bat and the next oncoming ball. He has no idea how the ball is going to come at him. It could be high and outside, fast, slow, knuckle ball, changeup, or curve ball. But everything about the batter is completely still.
We must be ready for what comes our way when working with the needs of people. One of my former coaching clients (a great thinker) put it well,
“There is a ‘right time’ to rest and a ‘right kind’ of rest – not based on the need to recover from a recent sprint or marathon, but based on the need to be prepared for the next pitch coming my way. There is a stillness, a single-mindedness, a centered calm that can be chosen, adopted, breathed into my heart and mind, as the key element of physical, emotional, and spiritual preparation for the next task to come.
“As I sit by the stream in my back yard on a cool, windy spring day, I am aware of coming storms. Some people only know how to prepare for storms by getting busy (batten down the hatches, stow away the patio furniture, stock up on batteries, and check the flashlights.) I am learning how to prepare for a storm – by being still.”
What about you? How do you prepare for what lies ahead of you? Do you hurry around fretting and worrying? Or are you focused and still – like a seasoned batter amid the pressure of a tied ballgame, count full, and the next pitch coming…?
NASA’s rocket launch site, known as “Launch Complex 39”, is located on Merritt Island in Florida. One thing you may see there is what is known as a Mobile Launcher Platform (MLP). This is a 2-story structure used by NASA to support the Space Shuttle stack during its transportation from the vehicle assembly building to Complex 39. It also serves as the vehicles launch platform.
According to Wikipedia, the MLP was designed as part of NASA’s strategy for vertical assembly and transport of space vehicles. That way, they can avoid the additional step of lifting and craning a horizontally-assembled vehicle onto the launch pad (as the engineers of the Soviet space program chose to do).
In order to accomplish this task, NASA had to make the Mobile Launcher Platform in massive proportions. Each MLP weighs 8.23 million points unloaded (about 11 million pounds with an unfueled Shuttle aboard). It measures 160 feet by 135 feet and is 25 feet high. That’s pretty big! Of course, it would have to be in order to handle the pressure of the start of the Shuttle’s mission.
As ministry leaders and people helpers, we are on a mission. God has called us to perform tasks and meet the needs of others. Each day we wake up to the job at hand until the day ends and we lay our heads back on our pillows for sleep.
What gets you up each morning? What keeps you motivated? It’s the call of God. It’s His love that compels you, right? Maybe this unconditional love (this calling) is like a launch pad – a massive platform from which we begin each day and pursue the mission to which we are called. It’s a launch pad that is capable of handling the pressure of the mission.
So what’s your morning routine? How do you renew your awareness of God’s love and calling on your life?
photo credit - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_Launch_Platform
"The grass is always greener..."
I have an idea what likely went through your mind. You finished out the saying, didn't you? Something like "...on the other side of the fence", huh? If you did, you were right. According to DeProverbio.com:
"This proverb...expresses the only too human idea of discontent, envy, and jealousy in a metaphor which is easily understood. Interestingly enough, the proverb is also literally true as has been demonstrated by James Pomerantz in a scientific article on "'The Grass is always Greener': An Ecological Analysis of an Old Aphorism" (1983). This scholar proves that optical and perceptual laws alone will make the grass at a distance look greener to the human eye than the blades of grass perpendicular to the ground."
Did you catch that? It's an illusion. A trick of the eye.
So it's true. Blades of grass truly DO look greener... at a distance. May I repeat? Grass looks greener at a distance.
Opposite of Distance? Nearness
Who, or what, do you find in your "Nearness" (God. Your spouse. Your kids. Your current assignment in ministry, ...)?
So, what is missing about your Nearness that you are entertaining the "Distance"? What has you so captivated from the illusive Distance that you are willing to give up your precious Nearness? Or flip the question upside down: When was the last time you were so present in your Nearness that you saw, for the first time, something new and wonderful about God, about your spouse, about your kids, about your assignment that the Distance didn't even matter to you?
Forfeit your Nearness and you run the risk of finding yourself in the Distance, nose to nose with illusion (and disappointment).
It's late Autumn. A leaf begins to fall from its branch. During its descent it prepares for all the good it's going to do by providing nutrients to the ground near the tree. "The roots will welcome me," it says to itself. "I will be able to give my life so that the tree will continue for years to come, providing shade for people and nourishment to small animals."
The leaf has a purpose.
But somewhere along the descent the wind picked up and took the leaf dangerously near a fence. The fence was merciless. The fence grabbed the leaf and held on, not letting the leaf go. There was the leaf, stuck for the entire winter. No decomposing. No nutrients to give. The leaf's purpose was interrupted, halted. The leaf was stuck.
__________
We each have a purpose. We pursue that purpose and find, although sometimes difficult and tiring, that purpose is extremely rewarding. But life comes at us hard. The wind blows and we become distracted by alluring "fences". We think they are freeing, but they end up trapping us. Self-absorption, pride, marital infidelity, unforgiveness... these are the "fences" that keep us stuck, unable to fulfill our purpose.
Take a moment right now and evaluate your life and its purpose. What is keeping you from fulfilling your life's purpose today?
So you’re sitting with someone who is grieving the loss of someone, of something dear. What do you say? How do you respond? So many words, so little comfort.
Carolyn Arends has written a beautiful article in the April 2010 issue of the Christianity Today magazine. The article, entitled, “Allow for Space in the Music,” addresses what to say in times of trouble. Here’s an excerpt:
“Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is think of a truth and embody it rather than say it. When we long to tell a hurting friend that she’s not alone, we can simply sit with her as a tangible reminder that she isn’t. When we want to reassure a struggling family that God cares for them, a well-timed casserole can demonstrate that very fact.”
“Think of a note and don’t play it.” – Miles Davis
So how do YOU serve in time of trouble?
photo credit: www.pictureapromise.com
It’s true. It’s always true. You will perpetually be here.
Not there.
Not anywhere else… but here.
We each own a “here”. We got it the moment we were conceived. We carry it everywhere we go. When we go there, we take our “here” and when we are there, we’re here. Truth is, we ARE here. It defines us. It’s all we ever have… here.
Some people don’t treat their “here” very well. They shun their “here”. They ignore their “here” and think of things like
…Future worries
…Past mistakes
…Trinkets, trials and troubles
But our “here” needs attention. We must feed it to be successful and fulfilled. As life coaches, we know it as being “present in the moment”. A couple examples:
…On the carpet putting legos together with your 8 year old son
…Gazing into your spouse’s eyes across the dinner table
…Lost in the wonder of a phrase that jumped out from scripture
Start paying attention to your “here” and you notice something wonderful happens. Life will come alive. Life will deepen. Life will make more sense. Life will fulfill. All because you will find God in your “here”.
How do you treat your “here”?
End Note: Thanks to http://www.chrisbrogan.com for inspiration on this post.
I was inspired by Chris Brogan’s blog post the other day. He inspired bloggers to write posts on a wide variety of topics. When my eyes scanned Chris’ list, this one jumped out at me:
10 Guilty Pleasures
My mind immediately began churning. I thought to myself, “What keeps us ministry leaders from serving strong?” It’s when we waste our time on things that do not promote our effectiveness. Sometimes these things don’t seem wrong at the time (and for some, they may not be wrong.) But I believe anything that keeps us from performing at our best is our enemy.
Here is a quick list:
1. Talking ill of someone who disagrees with you
2. Watching one more 30-minute program on TV instead of reading for self improvement
3. Skipping lunch because you’re “too busy”
4. Clicking on one more link in Facebook instead of doing your work
5. Promoting yourself on Twitter, Facebook, etc.
6. Sharing something given to you in confidence because it’s juicy and will make you look good
7. Saying “just a minute” to your child who wants to play (again)
8. Going another day without saying “I love you” to your spouse
9. Reading only stuff that proves your point
10. …
I only listed 9.
Can you think of one more?
Some days are pretty BIG.
...BIG life changes
...BIG leaps of understanding
...BIG projects completed
Most days are pretty small.
...small decisions
...small thoughts
...small steps
But wait. Pause for a moment. Rewind the tape of a small day. Now push play again, but in slow motion. Go over it again. Each decision appears small by itself. String them together and you have the makings of a profoundly BIG day.
I think it’s not always the BIG things that define us. It’s the small things we do each day when no one is watching. Life is measured one decision at a time.
How do you live your small days?
Ever feel overwhelmed?
I have.
It’s not fun.
Really, it's not.
Overwhelmed: “Rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount or profusion of something.”
Some ideas (if you find yourself weighed down by the excessive)….
STOP. If your tendency is to plow even harder through the slog, stop. Get your bearings. Remember God is never in a hurry. He’s totally in control. Pray to Him for perspective; for guidance; for wisdom.
PRIORITIZE. What has absolutely got to get done in the next block of time? Face it, you are only one person. You can only do so much in a given amount of time. Start the most pressing. Go from there. In my experience, there is something therapeutic about starting out with one task, then another, and another. I call it a “snowball of accomplishment.” It always seems to feed my soul with hope.
EVALUATE. After you’ve worked your way out of crisis mode, take time to ask yourself how you got to the place of overwhelm in the first place. Was it something you need to change in your behavior? Do you need to say “no” to some unnecessary commitments? Do you need to read up on how to stop procrastinating?
What about you? What do YOU do when you find yourself overwhelmed?
We will face difficulty on our journey. No doubt about it.
Many people see these difficulties as nuisances - things to simply be tolerated until the moment passes. Others see them as opportunities - times to be alert for what God is really doing in them and through them.
What makes the difference?
Corrective lenses. The people who see difficulty as a nuisance are like people without corrective lenses. Their "vision" is blurred and they can't see what God is up to. Therefore, they go around in a fog of discouragement, loss of hope, depression.
But the people who see difficulty as opportunity are like people with well-fitted corrective lenses. Their "vision" is 20/20. They can see God in action. They can see what He's doing in the lives of those around them. They can see the growth He's causing in them personally. Therefore, they go around in an air of clarity, expectation, and excitement.
Who are you?
Are you the person with blurred vision, living a boring existence, tolerating life until God returns?
Or are you the person wearing corrective lenses, living an exciting existence before an God of adventure?
I help leaders conquer burnout.
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