SERVING STRONG

Accountability 101

Pastors set their own hours. The profession offers a lot of time alone for planning and thought. Although this sounds like a dream job, temptations run rampant.

Are you serious about remaining morally strong? Have you considered setting up your own personal accountability system but don't know where to start? Perhaps you are doing fine right now but you lack a "fence" of consistency to stay the course and finish strong. If that describes your situation, you are invited to join a phone presentation to gain ideas on how to begin the process. You will hear from Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach, who will share concepts and practical ideas to help increase your chances for sustainable success over temptation. Time permitting, he will take a couple of your questions.

The call is free*. It's simple (you can call from the convenience of your own home or office). Your name will not be shared.

Date:      Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Time:      1:00 pm (EDT)
Duration: 30-60 minutes

If you are interested, email coach@progressmax.com and put "accountability" in the subject line to receive the dial-in number and conference code.

Space is limited so act today to reserve your seat.

* Your only cost is any long distance charge

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Top Of The Ninth, But...

Been reading a little pamphlet by John A. Huffman, Jr., minister of St Andrews Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach, California. It's entitled, "For Those Who Serve and Need To Be Served" and is based on the scriptures from Mark 5.21-43.

Huffman finishes the little pamphlet with a story about a time with he and his daughter were together during a baseball game:

"Let me conclude with a homey little incident that happened with my daughter Janet and me when she was much younger. She was growing up, so she was my little buddy and, on occasion, would go with me to an Angel game. One night, the Angels were being badly beaten. At the bottom of the eighth inning, they were trailing 12-5. At that point, the majority of the spectators rushed from the stadium, trying to get to their cars to beat the traffic. Janet looked at me, and I looked at her, and I said, "Don't you think we should go?" In my cynicism, I thought it was all over. She looked up at me, and she said, "But Daddy, the Angels could yet win!" So we stayed. The Angels retired the team in the top of the ninth inning with no additional runs. Then in the bottom of the ninth inning, the Angels came to bat; and did we witness one of the greatest innings of baseball I've ever seen. Hit after hit after hit. By the time the inning was over, the Angels had won 13-12. I wonder what all those people listening to their radios on the freeways or stuck in their cards in the parking lot were thinking. They'd given up after eight innings and missed the very best."

And then Huffman ends with this:

"I've got to learn to trust God's victory already won on the cross to be applied to my life in every area, in His time, in His way."

What "top of the ninth" issues are you struggling with right now? Is it impossible finances? A difficult person you are dealing with? Are you struggling with the changes to the economy?....

Whatever your struggle, trust God's victory already won on the cross. Apply that to your situation right now as you read this. Bring it under the sovereignty of God and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Rest Work Rest Work...

As you go along your journey helping people in ministry, or healthcare, or social service, or caregiving...

Remember the importance of

"We Work From Our Rest"

over

"We Rest From Our Work."

Work from your rest and you'll be Serving Strong!

Saying No

The other day, Seth Godin posted a thought on saying "no". He urges that if you have talent and people ask you for this or that, you have a choice. You can either "dissipate your gift by making the people with the loudest requests temporarily happy" or you can "change the world by saying 'no' often." Godin goes on to say...

"You can say no with respect, you can say no promptly and you can say no with a lead to someone who might say yes. But just saying yes because you can't bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work."

Think about your service to other people. We all know pleasing everyone is impossible. We also know just because we say "yes" to a request, the day doesn't magically grow by one hour. If our time, resources and energy are limited, we have to be discerning in how we answer others' requests for them. This demands a close walk with God to hear His heartbeat.

How are you learning to say "no"? The fine art of "no" and "yes" has a direct impact to your ability to Serve Strong!

Looping

Over the Memorial holiday, my mother-in-law, wife and I were browsing an antique-type store (okay, guys. go ahead and have your laugh. It was a little painful, but tolerable.) During our visit, there was a song being played over the speakers throughout the store. It was nice & pleasant, as you'd expect most antique stores to have. But after about 10 minutes something occurred to me. It was the same song! The owners must have had the CD player on loop, but instead of looping ALL the songs, they were looping ONE single song. So, over and over and over it was playing. Once it ended, it started again. It was becoming a real distraction.

In people helping, your strength as a person dictates the kind of strength you can provide in your profession. But are you as strong as you could be? Are you replaying past hurts to your own personal detriment? Does this distract you from your service to others? Are you looping them over and over in your mind when there is nothing you can do about them?

Consider drawing an imaginary line on the floor. As you step across it, determine in your heart (with God's help) never again to allow past hurts to negatively impact your ability to Serve Strong!

Drainers And Energizers

While working with a client the other day, our conversation centered around those activities which drain us and which give us energy. In a people helping profession, it's wise to consider drainers and energizers to help avoid burnout.

Lori Smith, of Foundation Coaching, lists a series of questions to determine whether something is a strength or passion:

1. Where do you experience your most rapid learning?
2. When do you feel that you're most "in your zone" or "in the flow"?
3. What do you feel a strong desire or yearning to do more of?
4. Where do you most easily and effortlessly tap into your intuition?
5. Where do you feel your greatest sense of satisfaction?
6. What do you feel most passionate about, and why?

She has also developed a list of questions to help determine whether something is NOT a strength or passion:

1. When do you feel a sense of dread and drudgery?
2. What do you do or perform poorly?
3. What do you feel relieved about NOT having to do?
4. What makes you feel unenthusiastic and frustrated?
5. What makes you want to procrastinate by putting it off?

Strong people helpers know the difference between what drains and what energizes them. What about you? Do you know the difference? If you do, you are most likely Serving Strong!

Life Fitness

Recumbant bikes, treadmills, stair-steppers. These are all the tools of the physical fitness world. People join YMCAs and other fitness companies all across the world to stay fit.

But have you ever considered fitness in other areas of your life? Consider the following areas and ask youself how fit you are? What tools do you need to stay fit in each area? What is your "exercise routine" for each area?

Spiritual Fitness

Marital Fitness

Parental Fitness

Financial Fitness

Interpersonal Fitness

Mental Fitness

Vocational Fitness

Work on the fitness in all of your life's areas and you''ll be Serving Strong!

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"Still Time To Join Us"

Glancing at the list of messages flooding my inbox, I saw one with the subject line which read, "There's still time to join us." It made me feel time was running out. It said there will come a time when, no matter how badly I want to join them, I won't be able to because I will have missed the deadline. This got me thinking.

What healthy routines are you putting off until the "right time"?

To help you get started, you need TWO THINGS:

1) A Perspective. Time is running out. We aren't getting younger. There will come a time when, no matter how badly you want to be healthy, you won't be able to because you will have missed the deadline. Think of all the good God can do with you if you stay healthy. Think of your legacy.

2) A Plan. There are all sorts of healthy activities, foods, exercises, and people we can gather around our daily routine. Our lack of healthy living is not for lack of resources. Take a look at your week. How can you build some of the resources into the fabric of your life? It could be as simple as adding an apple to your lunch on Thursday. Or it could mean scheduling an appointment with your doctor about that chronic cough. Whatever it is, build your plan today.

Live healthy, Serve Strong!

One Every 32 Seconds...

I recently read an article in the Christian Counseling Today magazine by George Ohlschlager and Eric Scalise about heart disease (Vol. 16 No. 2). I discovered:

"Last year, the American Heart Association reported that more than 50 million Americans suffer from high blood pressure and nearly 60 million suffer from some form of cardiovascular disease.

"This results in more than a million deaths every year - or one every 32 seconds. As a matter of fact, heart disease has been the leading cause of death in the United States every year since 1900 (except 1918 - the great flu pandemic) and crosses all racial, gender, socioeconomic, and age barriers."

The authors tie stress to heart disease:

"Stress can easily become the pressure cooker of life. It forces things to the surface. When we squeeze an orange, we get orange juice... a grapefruit, grapefruit juice, and so on.  Someone once said that when you squeeze a person, you may not know what you're going to get, but whatever comes out is what he or she is full of."

So, what are YOU doing to protect your heart? How are YOU dealing with stress? A quick search online will reveal more resources than you can shake a stick at. I've pulled just a few from the list and put them in this post if you're interested:

Stress Management Resources from Mind Tools

About Stress Management

Stress Management For Dummies

Stress Reduction For Busy People

Working in the people helping profession is stressful. Don't let stress steal your heart and render you helpless. Every 32 seconds, you want to be Serving Strong!

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Pastors: Is Ministry Your Job Or Your Life?

Yesterday, I posed a question on Facebook and Twitter. That question was:

"Pastors - 'Ministry is your job, not your life.' Do you agree?"

I received an incredible response. What follows is an accumulation of those responses for your review.  The consensus seems to be that ministry is a way of life.  The challenge seems to be calling ministry a "job". History has shown that pastors suffer from burnout.  I'm wondering if the burnout is coming from a mindset by pastors and the congregations who sit under their leadership.  The objective is to wipe out burnout from the landscape of pastoral ministry.  Keep the conversation open.  What are your thoughts as you read through these responses from yesterday?

"Agreed but not sure we are taught it that way"

It's a calling NOT an occupation. We have NO paid staff. Pay our own way. Funds raised go 100% to ministry w/no overhead.

Jesus Christ is life. Ministry was an aspect of His life... an extremely important one at that. He's our perfect example.

Ministry may be a job, but is it your lifestyle? Make sure your seat is secured in Heaven too. Glory.

From a non-pastor-- ministry is my life, through Christ. How can one separate the two?

my ministry is an extension of who I am. When I'm healthy I have a healthy ministry. When I'm unhealthy, an unhealthy one

Nope. I can't agree with that. It shows up in all of my life, not just when I "clock-in" or when I'm working for a church.

Ministry (Gk diakonia) is serving or servanthood. Downward mobility. Jesus says,"Do as I do". NOT a job but a lifestyle!

What if both are stewardships: Each, according as he received a gift, to one another ministering it, as good stewards..1 Pe 4

tends to come with job expectations. Rather, I'd call it the freedom to just BE.(I've been reading TheShackagain)

The best ministry is oftentimes just being in relationship. I wouldn't call it a job description, that

I see ministry as the calling of every Christ-follower. Your job, whether pastor or plumber, is part of that.

GOD don't want weekend visitation, GOD wants full custody!

Ministry is a way of life ... !

"Ministry is what I am and do because of Christ in me and what flows out.  I receive a check for my "job" to minister called a pastor.  Too many layman leave the ministry up to those who get the check.  My struggle is...have I cared for some people because I'm getting paid to?  Is that ok to say out loud?  In those cases it would be what I'm paid to do, i.e. a job.  And so is that true ministry?  This questions makes my head hurt.  I'm going to lay down."

"This is very important.  Before I was a pastor, I spent 32 years as a university professor.  When I made demands on students that meant additional demands on my time.  It had a way of taking over my life.  Now that I am a part time pastor that travels to area churches and work from home when I'm not on the road, I find that it can easily take over my life also. It is also very easy to allow ministry demands to squeeze out time for personal meditation and spiritual growth."

"There must be balance between one's calling and their life, health, and welfare...In Phil 2 Epaphroditus is spoken of as having been ill, in fact near death, and this due to his labors to help Paul. The reason he did not die is because God had mercy...mercy being the prevention of a consequence his actions would have otherwise resulted. If we seek the Lord's wisdom and grace for balance we can be and remain effective over a longer term. Many of us are aware of those dedicated to ministry who labored so hard they ended up dying before their time. Some even have said that they would rather burn out than rust out... With the Lord's wisodm and grace we can be sustained, live a long effective life, and be satisfied...(Psalm 91)"

"I may not be a "pastor", but I am working in a ministry that at times can consume my life.  And there are times that that is okay and it's God's appointment.  And there are times that I have to draw a line and say, "I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you about this now, but you could call me at my office."  When we start drawing a line, I feel we are leaving out the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives to lead us.  Gotta be listening, not making rules."

"I agree with Bret - it's both.  Not to sound too holy or righteous but separating it sounds pretty dualistic and not so Biblical."

" It's hard for me to look at Jesus, or even Paul, or James, or any of the other early Christian ministers and see that they differentiated.  The call consumed their lives.  Which is probably why Paul recommended that marriage made it all the more complicated.  I suppose to answer your question well, we'd need to further define "ministry."  For honestly, much of what full-time pastors do is not truly ministry.  Budget reports and the like are to me much less ministry than pastoral counseling and Bible teaching.  Of course everyone's call is different, and some who are better with numbers may be called to do budget reports as a ministry.  But I think you get my point.  However, I think that the true problems arise when we start to draw the lines of ministry and non-ministry too dark.  As Christians, not even pastors, we can't compartmentalize our lives. All of who we are is in the service of Christ, so our whole lives are obedience to him and ministry to others."

"I think reiteration is needed for this question,the way it's worded. I don't believe one can differentiate between the job and the life. As a minister, you are either commited to following the path of God or you aren't. You either provide counsel for those in need, or you don't. I don't see being a minister as a job, but as part of my life, an extension of myself through God. It might have been my choice to make to choose whether or not to follow the calling, but without those in need of spiritual guidance this doesn't exist."

"Interesting question, I believe that the Father God has so intricately woven into who I am, that which He has called me to do, that at times the two are inseperable. Ephesians 2:10 tells me that He created us with the capacity and inclination TO DO, what He ordained us thus would have us to do.  Yet let me add that even in the divine order, He created us to have priorities in life that supercede the call to minister. One such example is that my relationship with Him, comes before any ministry He has called me to perform, as does my marriage and home life. According to Paul's epistle to Timothy, one cannot so much as be a deacon except their marriage and home be in order."

"My perspective on this statement is less about 9-5 or calling, and more about boundaries? For me, the answer is yes, there needs to be boundaries between the two.  Ministry is my life. I don't stop ministering once I've taken off my pastor hat. At the same time, there are boundaries between my role of leading a church and raising my family, caring for myself, etc. Without boundaries, I run the risk of allowing my calling to run my life rather than the Holy Spirit.  Is it my job? Yes. Is it my life? Yes. Are there times to separate the two? You better believe it!  Great provocation, Scott! I want specific thanks in the book you're writing for this! Haha!"

"If I think about how God ordered things, taking care of the family He gave us is second only to Him.  While ministry is a great responsibility, God and family are first.  God and family first means to me that they are my life.  Ministry is so very close behind.  But I can't say I can call it a 'job.'  I think of it more as my mission given by God.  But then again, even when I am on the job, I am still on mission.  Hmmmm this is a brain-teaser.  I looked up 'job' online with Merriam-Webster's dictionary (www.m-w.com) and I suppose it could apply but we tend to think of most 'jobs' as drudgery...doing it because we have to.  The first 2 definitions give a negative connotation and the 3rd is: 3 a (1): something that has to be done : task.....maybe it's too rhetorical to have a definitive answer."

"Ministry is a calling.  There are job-like aspects to it, particularly when dealing with some of the peskier details.  Since I am also called to the arts, I consider myself a clergy-artist."

"It's both!!! Certainly can't live without Christ."

"Ministry is my calling,not my job.  There are times it may feel like a job, but then I am not listening to God.  I am named and claimed by God to be an ordained pastor,just like others are named and claimed by God to teach, or coach, or...  My life is interwovenn in this... when I retire, I will still do ministry."

"That seems like a "trick question".  The same could be asked of professional athletes, artists and musicians.  I think it  is both."

"Ministry is my job.  Faith is my life.  I can walk away from my job at the end of the day (admittedly, this is some days more challenging than others).  I can never walk away from my faith.  I get inspired and encouraged, and uninspired, too, by the things of the world.  I love God, and that's probably why I chose ordained ministry (or maybe it chose me) as my job/vocation in the world.  But it's not who I am.  My baptism is more important to me than my ordination.  And I think I'm a better pastor because of it."

"part of this discussion is somewhat "semantics" around the word/conception of "job".  I manage a hotel - full-time job.  My work here can become "my life" and that's not good.    BUT, still, there is something integral about my "job" and my "life" which would make me hesitant to "buy in" to the statement as it was originally proposed.  Good thoughts, you all!"

"Wasn't ministry Jesus life?"

"I have a question too...do you get paid to minister?"

"Ministry is life, being a pastor is my profession"

"No disagree ministry is all of our lives.....I just happen to get paid for my serving the Lord.....however that is God's grace.  Truth is my family would pay if we had to in order live as all out servants of the Lord!  I guess some would call it a job......for me its a privileged call given by grace and requires me and mine to lay down our lives if need be......Radical discipleship"

"No disagree ministry is all of our lives.....I just happen to get paid for my serving the Lord.....however that is God's grace.  Truth is my family would pay if we had to in order live as all out servants of the Lord!  I guess some would call it a job......for me its a privileged call given by grace and requires me and mine to lay down our lives if need be......Radical discipleship"

"Seems like your passions should be your life - people, ministry, cars, family... work can certainly be a persons "life" or a passionate part of it. "Job" indicates chore... very few passions have time clocks."

"Scott, perhaps you know which of the responders are in the full-time pastoral ministry.  I'd be interested in knowing if there is a clear delineation of opinion from those in FT ministry vs those not.  I had no idea the pressure pastors lived under until I became one."

"enjoying reading all the opinions ~ one little question seems to have struck a nerve in us all~ enjoys all the different outlooks."

"I am trying to figure out why this statement "Ministry is your job, not your life" doesn't sit well with me...it probably has to do with the fact that for nearly 10 years I actively worked in ministry (even though it was not in the pastorate ministry).  I really did look at what God called me to do as ministry and a way of life for me.  For me, to look at it any other way would almost be likened to being a Christian just on Sundays.  Now, that doesn't mean that being sold out for ministry replaces family time, rest time, etc.  God gave us the commandment for the Sabbath and I also believe He desires us to live out His ministry first & foremost in our families."

"I don't think I agree...  but maybe I'm not taking it the right way... ministry=serving in the gifts/how God made you- for His purposes - that to me is my life."

"My ministry is my family.  Being a pastor is my profession.  We will accomplish far more good for the kingdom of heaven by sending Godly, whole, passion filled children into the next generation than by preaching to the masses.  300 years from now, the extent of our impact on the world will depend on our progeny, not our congregations."

"I'm called by God to preach His word. So, I actally dont have a job I would say a calling. As soon as I see it as a job only, then I can quit at 5. I wonder if we posed that question to the Apostle Paul how he would reply?"

"I am not a Pastor, but I disagree,, Ministry should be everyone's life ( not limited to Pastors) You never know when or where God is going to put someone in your pathway. :)"

"I'm wondering.... should our life (the way we live) be a ministry to others...just like Christ's was?"

"Scott,  thanks for the reminder!  I intellectually say, that is correct, but I live the opposite.  It has been a huge struggle.  I live with gulit when I am doing one or the other.  Of course, I'm like many pastors, just kind of messed up."

"As I walk in my home office every morning, I say to myself "this is my mission field""

The Benefit Of Stress Relief

I recently read a blog post by Perry Noble, Senior Pastor of NewSpring Church, located in Anderson, SC. It was dealing with avoiding moral failure. Here's an excerpt that addressed stress:

When a man pastor experiences a time of intense stress and anxiety he is way more vulnerable to be lured into sin.

Pastors…we’ve GOT to take the fourth commandment seriously (that would be the one about rest!)  We’ve got to take care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually and physically…neglecting these things allows us to become an easy target of the enemy!

I believe that many times pastors and ministry leaders will allow the stress and anxiety of ministry to catch up with them so much that they see a “moral failure” as an escape of the life they feel enslaved to.

One of the things ALL of us need to keep in mind is that the church is HIS bride…not ours.  There is no need to stress if we believe He is completely in control!

My prayer is that there would NEVER be another pastor to choose to fail morally!  (I hate it when people say a pastor “fell into sin!”  THAT HAS NEVER FREAKIN’ HAPPENED–EVER!!!  Moral failure is NOT a sin that happens to us…we make it happen!

Men, I want us to make it…to keep our eyes on Jesus!  PLEASE, if anyone is struggling in this area and feel like you are about to sin…GET HELP!  PLEASE…talk to someone!  (Many pastors will not do this because they spend WAY too much time trying to BE the Messiah rather than leading people to HIM!)

Stress, if not handled properly, can end a pastor's ministry. What are YOU doing to build stress relief into the fabric of your ministry?

This isn't just for pastors. If you are in any people helping field, the devastating effects of moral failure still ruin your influence.

1 Peter 3 (MSG) says, "Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick." Handle stress and you'll be Serving Strong!

Facebook and Twitter and Digg, Oh My!

I am getting questions from people in my span of care about social media. People want to know how to work in Twitter or Facebook to their ministry or work with helping people. Honestly, I have had these same questions of myself. I felt like I was taking a shotgun approach with no real masterplan. How much time is wasted this way!

Some say social media is the incremental, consensual relinquishment of personal privacy. Others say it's a great way to lean into community and be a better person for it. I believe somewhere between these two extremes lies the answer. As in most cases, balance is the key. 

Here are 4 habits you need to develop if you are making social media a part of your equation:

Know your objectives ahead of time. What do you want to accomplish with your life? What is God calling you to do? What is the unique expression of your gifts, talents, and passions? Build a masterplan around your calling. That's the big rock. Social media outlets are the pebbles that fill in around the big rock.

Set boundaries ahead of time. If you're not careful, you will easily chew up a couple hours in one sitting as you go from one Facebook status update to Twitter updates, to Ning, to Google, to...  Decide how much time you are going to spend on the various social media outlets. Pick a block of time. If necessary, get a kitchen timer and stop when it goes off.

Preserve your integrity. Watch what you put out there. If you're going away on a trip, it may make more sense to wait until you return home before you let the world know what you did. Be discriminating in your communication. When you do post things about yourself, be yourself. Be authentic.

Protect your morality. Surround yourself with accountability partners. I have built this into my life and I'm working at making it even more robust. It's amazing how much better I feel when I know I have a few honest relationships who are watching out for me. Get software to help you too. I use Covenant Eyes, an online watchful eye that records my every online movement and sends a report to my accountability partners. (Serving Strong is an affiliate of Covenant Eyes. If you enroll using the Promo Code: ServingStrong, your first month is free. Check it out.)

Do you know of any more habits? Share them in the comments field. I certainly could use more insight from you. We all could. Staying on top of social media is part of Serving Strong!

By the way, if you decide to engage in social media, Serving Strong can be part of your equation:

Follow Serving Strong on Twitter

Join the Serving Strong Facebook Group

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Breakthrough or Burnout

Joseph Mattera has been a pastor for more than 25 years.  He has seen many serving in ministry burn out in the name of Christ, then fall away from their purpose. But it can be avoided. Mattera shares signs that show whether you are on the verge of burnout or breakthrough.  Here are 3 of them:

I. When in breakthrough mode you can’t wait to start the day. In burnout you can’t wait for the day to end.

I know from my own life when I have pushed myself too much I have dreaded all the work I saw in front of me. However, when I am living out of the overflow of the life of Christ in me I can’t wait to tackle the greatest challenges in front of me.

II. In breakthrough mode you are ministering out of the overflow of Christ’s life in you. In burnout you are ministering purely out of your natural giftings and spiritual anointing without a fresh infilling from the Holy Spirit.

Those heading for breakthrough are ministering out of a fresh word they receive daily from God (Isaiah 50:1-4). Those headed for burnout are depending only on their natural wisdom and abilities that God anoints, just like the Corinthian Church who operated in the gifts of the Spirit but were moving in the flesh and were not spiritual (1 Corinthians 3:1-4).

III. In breakthrough mode you have passion to serve. In burnout you have passion for pleasure and relaxation.

CLICK TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Breakthrough living is what it means to Serve Strong!

Over Capacity

I'm new on Twitter. Here's my account, if you want to follow me:

http://www.twitter.com/ServingStrong

I LOVE Twitter. Just ask my wife (and yes, I'm learning how to balance my Twit with all my other life areas). But something that happens from time to time is message that appears on my screen saying, "Twitter is over capacity."  I refresh my screen and move on. But it gets a bit annoying. I have a task I want to do and it's a little interruption in the flow. Don't get me wrong.

We are like that sometimes. As people helpers, we tend to take on a lot of obligations. The trouble is - we are finite. Our time, energy, and resources do not come with an unlimited supply. Every "yes" we say has a corresponding "no" attached to it.

So the next time you feel "over capacity", stop and ask yourself how much you have committed to lately. Is it time to trim off some of the responsibilities? Is it time to brush the dust off that book on delegation? Is it time to start learning the fine art of saying "no"? Or MORE IMPORTANTLY, is it time to revisit the WHY of WHAT you do?

Keeping from reaching "over capacity" is part of Serving Strong!

Is Your Compassion Fatigued?

We help people.  It's in our blood.  But sometimes our compassion can backfire.  It's happened so often among people helpers there is a term for it: COMPASSION FATIGUE.  What exactly is it? How do you cope with it?  How do you recover from it? How do you help someone you know dealing with it?

All good questions.  Here is a short list of some resources which are designed to make you more informed on the subject and some things you can do to stay on top of it:

DEFINITIONS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion_fatigue

http://www.pspinformation.com/caregiving/thecaregiver/compassion.shtml

RESOURCES:

SELF TEST ... http://www.ace-network.com/cftest.htm

BOOK: "Help For the Helper" ... http://tinyurl.com/anje5l

BOOK: "The Master's Touch" ... http://tinyurl.com/ccpat4

By the way, the topic of COMPASSION FATIGUE was brought up by a member of the Serving Strong Facebook group.  If you're interested in joining this group of fellow people helpers, here's the link:

Serving Strong (Balance and Self-Care for People Helpers)

Staying on top of COMPASSION FATIGUE is part of Serving Strong!

Are You Distracted?

Twitter, Facebook, email, phone calls, text messaging, instant messaging, blogging, internet surfing, 24-hour cable TV, satellite radio, ......  These are all great tools.  They are also sources of great distraction.  How are YOU dealing with this aspect of our culture?  Are you able to remain focused on your objectives?

Below is a copy of a Serving Strong eNews issue send mid 2007.  It's just as relevant today as it was then (maybe even more).  As you read it, do an inventory of your life. 

-----------------------------------------------------------

Wikipedia's definition of distraction is...

 

The diverting of the attention...from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction.  Distraction is caused by...

• lack of ability to pay attention;
• lack of interest in the object of attention;
• greater interest in something other than the object of attention; or
• great intensity, novelty or attractiveness of the source of distraction

Distractions come from external sources (physical stimulus through the 5 senses) or internal sources (thoughts, emotions, daydreams, etc.)  But not all diversions can be considered distractions because their value or importance may be greater than the object of attention (say, a welcomed phone call, creative inspiration, or medical emergency).  Distraction is a major cause of procrastination.

You know how important life balance & self care are to successfully working in the people helping field.  You understand it helps in serving over the length of God's call.  And you know it takes intention to achieve your next desired "horizon".  But life is full of distractions, veering us off course.

 

What to do?

1. Primarily, be aware.  Learn what distractions are to you personally.
2. Close yourself away from the world when engaged in a major ToDo item.
3. Begin each day reviewing your life's purpose.

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If you are interested in a short read every Tuesday morning, SUBSCRIBE by going to:

http://www.servingstrong.com/jointhecommunity.  It's designed to help you stay balanced and healthy as you serve others.

Leading On Empty

Todd Rhoades, on his blog, Monday Morning Insights, has highlighted a book called, Leading On Empty by Wayne Cordeiro.  Looks like a great resource.

Cordeiro writes:

"For over thirty years my drive for excellence propelled me. It wasn't that I was compulsive; I simply had a deep desire to do my best. I drove hard on all cylinders, not realizing that being an entrepreneur means that everything you initiate, by default you must add to your maintenance list...

If you can identify, maybe this book is for you at this time in your life.  Perhaps you know someone who would benefit from it - share this link.

CLICK HERE to get the book.

Leading while on empty is no way to be Serving Strong!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe look helpful and will add value to my subscribers, whether I have personally read them or not. As with all suggested materials, be diligent to assess for yourself whether or not something is right for you.

Three Men - Three Decisions

• Senator Tom Daschle failed to pay more than $128,000 in taxes, partly for free use of a car and driver that had been provided to him by a prominent businessman and Democratic fund-raiser.

• Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps has been caught on camera smoking pot.

• Capt. Chesley B. Sullenberger, III (Sully), the US Airways pilot whose feather-soft landing of Flight 1549 in the Hudson River last month saved the lives of the 155 people on board.

Three men.  Three decisions.

What is behind a good decision?  What leads to a bad decision?  As a people-helper, what can you learn from these three stories?

As we sleep, opportunities are stacked up one by one like dominoes (I don't know who does that.  Maybe there are "opportunity gnomes"  roaming the earth at night.)  The moment we become conscious in the morning, the opportunities start presenting themselves.  Our day starts.  Our decision-making begins as well. 

Depending on how balanced & healthy we are, we will either make GOOD decisions or BAD decisions.  For instance, if we are tired, overwhelmed (or even wildly successful), we aren't prepared to make the best decisions possible.  I don't know what led to each of these men's individual decisions on taxes, smoking dope, or landing a plane.  Only God knows that.  What we see today are the results of those decisions.  What we don't see is what was going on inside each of them BEFORE the decision was made.

The interesting thing is a follow up story about Sully and his soon-to-be overdue library book (which was lost in the cargo hold of the airplane.)  The title? Professional Ethics.  What do you suppose Sully has been feeding his mind on?  How do you think that impacted his decision in the moment of truth?

MORAL:  Read Philippians 4.8.  What you feed your mind (on a continuous basis, along your journey) is what will ultimately show up in the moment of decision.  What are you feeding your mind?  It has a tremendous impact on Serving Strong!

Phelps photo credit

Daschle photo credit

Sullenberger photo credit

Swimming, Doping And Your Leadership

It's all over the news this morning.  Michael Phelps' allegedly smoking dope 3 months after the Olympics and all the attention after his incredible swimming performances.  This post is not created to place blame or exonerate him.  It is designed to point out the incredible pressure we each face as we lead others in the professions of people helping.

You may not see yourself as a leader.  Oh, but you are.  There are people watching you.  You'd be amazed by the people who consider you their silent mentor.  What kind of message are you sending to them?

Serving in the people-helping professions (ministry, healthcare, social service, or caregiving) is a stressful endeavor.  You are dealing in human misery.  You are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Without a plan to remain personally strong, you can give in the the pressure and allow the profession to destroy you.

What are you doing to set boundaries?  What is your plan for margin time?  How do you maintain a work/life balance?  What do you do to recreate?  If you cannot answer these questions, you may be in danger of falling.

I encourage you to take a look at your life and profession today.  Consider the risks of your profession.  Renew your commitment to a lifestyle of balance and healthy living.  The people you serve will be better for it.  YOU will be better for it.  You will be able to Serve Strong!

________________

If you are interested in looking into a personal coaching benefit for yourself, contact me to set up a free, no-obligation session.  Get a sense for what life coaching can do for you as you serve others.  coach@progressmax.com

photo credit

From Starbucks To Millions Of Kindnesses

30 days ago, the 365 CLUB began as a way of gathering people together who were committed to doing 365 kindnesses throughout the year.  That group, now over 10,700 members strong worldwide, is still making news:

Check out the latest report:  Naperville Sun

Serving the needs of people in ministry, healthcare, social service, or caregiving is an exciting profession to be involved in.  It's also tremendously draining.  Doing kindness is a great way to remain fresh and alive.  It's a great way to Serve Strong!

Accountability In Action

It's Tuesday morning and I just read a Covenant Eyes accountability report on a friend.  I was asked to be his accountability partner and glad to do it.  I receive his reports on a weekly basis.  As I read down through the report, I am pleased to see,

"no unusual activity this reporting period"

"no high scoring web searches"

"no web sites blocked by the Covenant Eyes Filter"

"no high scoring sites visited during the reporting period"

These are the things I like to see from those who ask me to hold them accountable.  PLUS, I have my own report going to my own accountability partner and I'm glad they too are seeing the same phrases in my accountability report.

Are you using Covenant Eyes yet?  If you aren't, you need to be.  The internet is an incredibly wonderful and devastating thing.  If used right, it can bring a lot of helpful information as you pursue your people helping.  If used wrong, it can destroy all you've worked to achieve.

Serving Strong is an affiliate of Covenant Eyes.  If you sign up using PromoCode: ServingStrong, your first month is free.  But the great thing is, it's not that expensive anyway.  If you want to start surfing safely, here's the link to get started:

GET COVENANT EYES

Safe surfing is part of Serving Strong in your peopl-helping profession!

A Skater, Cancer, and Contentment

The Tennessean.com website has a great article about Scott Hamilton.  Despite all he's been through, he's found happiness and contentment with life.  How?

His perspective.  He says, "Life presents a lot of things, and it's how we respond to them that defines who we are.  The idea of being happy is a subjective thing and what makes one person happy won't make someone else happy."

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE HERE

How are you approaching your life this year?  If the bottom fell out and everything went down the drain what would your initial response be?  Would you run and hide?  Try to fix it on your own?  Throw it all at the feet of Christ and trust?

Before you answer, let me remind you that scripture tells us God has already overcome the world (John 16.33).  Your attitude and outlook are vital.  Trusting in the God who created you is vital.  It's what it means to Serve Strong!

How To Make A Good Decision

Each day we wake to a new set of hundreds (perhaps thousands) of choices.  Since our time, energy, and resources are limited, we must make the best choices at each fork in the road.  This is the essence of pursuing excellence.  It's also a key to living in balance.  Choices impact our role as people helper, spouse, parent, and so on.  Choices impact our life areas such as our career, finances, physical health, spiritual health, and so on.

But how do I know I'm making the right decisions each time?

For example, if I'm on the floor at home playing with my two young children in the evening and I get a call on my work phone, how do I know if I should take the call?  The answer is partly based on your objectives; your masterplan.  Let me explain...

Choices Based On Objectives

Consider the evening call as an example.  But this time, instead of simply being on the floor playing with your children, you have determined what the kids really need is a relationship with you.  You understand a relationship with them now will help when they reach the turbulent teen years.  So instead of just killing time with the kids, you are intentionally developing this relationship with them via, say, a lego building exercise.  Now you get that call on your work phone.  A choice must still be made.  Do you pause your relationship-building time to take a work-related call?  Or do you let the call go to voicemail and check it after the kids go to bed?  The choice is still yours.  But a good choice will be made when it's based upon your objectives.

We make choices on a whim when there are no objectives or masterplan to guide us.  We are swayed by the winds of "I ought to do this" or "I ought to do that."  And many people end up imbalanced in their work and life.

Start designing your objectives; your masterplan.  It's the the key to Serving Strong!

Note:  Email me (coach@progressmax.com) for your free coaching session.  If you're serious about making the best decisions this new year, experience how life coaching can benefit you as you design your own personal masterplan.

photo credit

Surfing Your Values (part 3)

Check out Part 1
Check out Part 2

I am linking to a series of posts on the Breaking Free Blog put out by the folks at Covenant Eyes.  They are highlighting Daniel Lohrmann's "Seven Habits of Online Integrity," from his book, Virtual Integrity: Faithfully Navigating the Brave New Web.

Here are the rest of the 7 Habits:

Habit #4: Apply Helpful Technology

Lohrman identifies three broad categories of current technology:  Computer security, Web filtering software, and Accountability software.  All three of these types of software promote a safe online experience.  Some websites are ideal places for you to learn about the different technology options.

Habit #5: Balance Online and Offline Life

Because we live in this Internet age, there is always the risk of spending too much time online in a way that hinders our growth mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally. Taking a brief look around youth culture, for example, one can see a host of time-consuming, compulsive, and unbalanced uses of technology.

Habit #6: Practice Humble Authenticity

Lohrman suggests three ways to practice humble authenticity as we work to surf our values: Conduct honest self-examination, stay away from the "virtual cliffs" in cyberspace, and surft your true identity.

Habit #7: Become a cyber ambassador for good

We belong to another coming kingdom.  That kingdom's values are very different from this world's.  Our power, recognition, status, pleasure, and wealth are totally redefined by our relationship to the King, Jesus Christ.

This post is just the beginning.  To read the entire post on Covenant Eyes' blog, CLICK HERE.

Note: I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

CLICK HERE

to get your first month free with Covenant Eyes' accountability software

(Promo Code: Serving Strong)

Pastor Care For The Holidays

William Allen, National Director of PastorCare is quoted in an article on the Daily Business News website:

“While others are at home spending time with family and friends, shopping and celebrating the season, pastors are hard at work, Christmas Eve services, Christmas Day services as well as an often increased load in pastoral counseling duties keep pastors away from their homes and family.  Many are just not able to enjoy the holidays.”

The article goes on to describe the stress and burnout that many pastors end up experiencing during the holidays.  This is brought on by the fact that they don't have a close friend to turn to and process the ups and downs of ministry.

PastorCare.org offers services to help pastors in these times.  Read the article to find out more about PastorCare Networks, Inc.

PastorCare, as well as this blog and others, are here to help you Serve Strong!

Neither Angels Nor Demons

"It is wisdom that has faced the pain caused by parents, spouse, family, colleagues, business associates, and has truly forgiven them and acknowledged with unexpected compassion that these people are neither angels nor demons, but only human."  Brennan Manning (The  Ragamuffin Gospel)

Forgiveness

It's a component of our self care as people helpers.  When we hold a grudge, we give up mind and emotional space that could be used for service to others.  It's like holding two full grocery bags in your arms and then trying to pick up yet another.  Holding a grudge also clouds our focus.  While we're in the thick of our profession, helping people, in the back of our minds is unfinished business.  It eats away at us until we are unable to serve at all.

Forgiving others (acknowledging them as human and neither angels nor demons) is a choice.  What choice are you going to make?  Think carefully.  Your answer will have a profound impact on your ability to help others.

Build forgiveness into your self care and you'll be Serving Strong!

RESOURCE:  How To Forgive

Be Strong, Be Broken, Be Effective.

Jon and Angela did something outside the norm this past Thanksgiving. These good friends of mine invited several people to sit for a Thanksgiving Day meal with them (you know, the kind of feast many of us are so used to). These are people who otherwise would not have such a meal to enjoy on this American national holiday.

Turns out many people showed up.  Angela recounts the day on her blog.  CHECK IT OUT.

One point in Angela's blog stood out to me.

"There is such sadness in the lives of many of these people. One friend asked for prayer for her nephew who had been shot three days before - once in the chest and twice in the back, and no one was sure if he was ever going to walk again. Another woman told me of how some years back her husband tried to snap her spine by dropping her on her back over an ottoman. Because of this abuse, not only has her life been scarred, but she can't even hold a job because of her back injuries (along with some mental illnesses, she added). My heart really does break for these people. "

"My heart breaks for these people."  Does that describe how you feel about the people to whom God has called you?  You probably agree this takes strength.  This kind of breaking requires a higher form of stamina and perseverance.  But where does this stamina and perseverance come from?  Where do you go for strength?

I've blogged about it before:  "We don't rest from our work.  We work from our rest."  That's not an original idea of mine, but I believe it with all my heart.  Here are a couple thoughts on where this needed stamina comes from:

• An intimate and organic walk with God.  Ultimately, it is God who calls us to the needs of people.  Therefore, it is only fitting that it be God who provides what we need to do the work.
• Self care.  If we ignore the rest/work/rest/work rhythm of life, we are in danger of burning out.  It's almost as if we are ignoring the law of gravity by jumping off a tall building.  There are consequences to going against God's laws & rhythms.
• Boundaries.  There are things for which we are personally wired.  That means we are NOT wired for it all.  We run into trouble when we try to meet everyone's needs all the time.  This is a hard pill to swallow for some.  The needs are so real.  Many people helpers lose perspective.  We try to do it all.  But through the intimate & organic relationship with God we know when to say "yes" and when to say "no".
• Balance.  If you are called to meet people's needs and you are married and have kids, you need balance.  You are living 3 roles (people helper, spouse, and parent.)  Many get caught up in the people helping at the expense of their marriage or parenthood.  Then they wonder why their spouse is so upset or why their children are acting out with negative social behaviors.

Does you heart break for a cause or a segment of the population?  Great!  Pursue that brokenness.  But remember we are called to be living sacrifices.  Remain broken BEFORE God and effective FOR God.  You'll be Serving Strong!

Surfing Your Values (part 2)

I posted a comment on November 19, 2008.  This is a follow up to that post.

I am linking to a series of posts on the Breaking Free Blog put out by the folks at Covenant Eyes.  They are highlighting Daniel Lohrmann's "Seven Habits of Online Integrity," from his book, Virtual Integrity: Faithfully Navigating the Brave New Web.

Habit #1:  Refresh Your Values in Cyberspace

The first step to surfing our values is remembering what our values are and realizing that they should apply to the Internet as well.  So what are your offline values? What would you label a “good” character quality?  How do your online behaviors match up?

Habit #2:  Pledge Personal Online Integrity

Creating a pledge for Internet use is not something just for protecting children: it is something every adult ought to do.  This personal pledge doesn’t need to be complicated or overly detailed.  One of the best ways to guard children from Internet pitfalls is by setting a standard for them by the way WE live as adults.

Habit #3:  Seek Trusted Accountability

Once we’ve committed to online integrity, it only makes sense that we set up some system of accountability.  Share the details of our pledge with trusted friends or family members, giving them permission to ask you to give an account of your commitment.  Whatever you do, involve someone else in the process who will show you tough love and always challenge you to the standards you have set.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE POST FROM BREAKING FREE BLOG

Note: I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

Self Care For The Caregiver

"Whether you choose to be a family caregiver or the job is thrust upon you by circumstances, your most important responsibility beyond caring for your ill or disabled relative is caring for yourself."

This is a quote from an article by Jane E. Brody.

SEE FULL ARTICLE HERE

Jane indicates that, "Too often, family caregivers are reluctant to 'abandon' their patients, even temporarily, or entrust others with their care. But a caregiver should not feel guilty about looking out for No. 1."

We have pointed out in previous posts that self care is not necessarily selfish.  It gets that stigma because of the health spas that dot the country touting their hedonistic pleasures on us.  Brody, however, says that self care is, "an essential act, because a caregiver who burns out, who becomes overly stressed, exhausted or ill, is no help to anyone."

Brody also highlights several ideas for protecting against burnout by caregivers.  Here are just a couple:

• Arrange for an evening or afternoon out one or more times a week. Ask a relative or friend to fill in for you. If you have a cellphone, you can always be reached if a problem arises that requires your know-how.
• If it is very difficult to get out, invite people over to talk, knit, crochet, have tea, cook, play bridge, work on a jigsaw puzzle, read a play, discuss a book — anything you might enjoy that can be done at home.

If you are a caregiver, your own self care is vital to your ability to Serve Strong!

photo credit

Surfing Your Values

I subscribe to Covenant Eyes.  It's an online accountability software program that monitors all my online activity.  I have an accountability partner who review an activity report on a weekly basis.  I do not intend to surf the internet for sites that are questionable.  But I want to be extremely cautious as I do my work of blogging, internet research, and website maintenance.  Having that element of accountability honors our God-given design to serve in community rather than as an island.

I HIGHLY recommend that you make the same investment.  Here where you do that.

Covenant Eyes has a companion blog called Breaking Free.  I have found the posts to be very informative and helpful as I navigate this online world of ours.  One recent post discusses part of Daniel Lohrmann’s book, Virtual Integrity, called Seven Habits of Online Integrity.

Here's a quote from Lohrmann:

“I’d like to offer you seven habits to faithfully navigate the brave new Web, which will hopefully become regular practices in your life. One goal of this list is to establish a basic framework for individuals to surf their values. . . . These are action-oriented disciplines that strive to be “non-techie,” easy to understand, and flexible to implement based upon need.”

Watch this video:

I will be following this list of posts as they come out.  I suggest you follow along as well.

Incidentally, I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

The Power Of "JUST"

"It's just an ant."

"I'm just tired."

"The whole thing was just a joke."

The word just means a lot, depending on your intended use.  Dictionary.com lists 13 definitions from "done according to principle" to "by a narrow margin".  In addition to that, we understand from reading scriptures that God is a just God.  But we limit our potential depending on how we use it personally.

"Just Me"

How about another use of the word just?  What if we use the word when we are referring to ourselves?  We may not even know we're doing it.  For example, you email someone and begin your message with, "It's just me..."  Do you realize what you're saying when you put yourself in the same sentence with the word just?  You diminish your worth.  You refer to yourself as just a mere human being not worthy of much.

Now, scriptures tell us we ARE simply jars of clay.  But God has chosen to bring about social justice, caregiving, and kingdom building THROUGH these jars of clay.  That, in itself, is powerful!  It's not that we have anything to offer.  Without Him we ARE just jars of clay (apart from Him we ar nothing).  But look beyond yourself to Whose you are.  As you follow Him, you are much more than just a jar of clay.

So, how are you limiting yourself through an inaccurate view of yourself?  Dig into scripture and you'll see how treasured you are by the Father -- beyond your wildest dreams.  Operate from the understanding of Whose you are and you'll be Serving Strong!

"My Vote Doesn't Count"

Today is election day in the United States of America.  Today thousands of people will be doing their civic duty to cast one vote.  That single vote will be added to millions of other single votes to arrive at a conclusion (hopefully).

But there will be thousands of people who will NOT vote today.  One of the reasons they won't is the sense that their vote won't matter.  "After all," they say, "Enough other people will be out there, right?  What good is my little ballot in the grand scheme of things?"

Now before you think this is a political post, let me assure you - it's not.

This post is about how we, as people helpers, see ourselves.  Many think of themselves just like the nonvoter who thinks their vote won't matter in the grand scheme of things.  They have little self esteem.  They struggle with the idea that they are worthy.  Perhaps you're reading this and are serving other people out of a sense of guilt and shame - that you have to help others to make up for the terrible person you are.

But we were already loved LONG before we even knew it.  God has initiated such wonderful grace to us already.  We sit in grace everyday.  We are loved every moment.  The trouble is, we don't recognize it.  To help you, I suggest a book: The Ragamuffin Gospel

If you are serving people out of a sense of duty, I urge you to stop; think; reflect.  Begin a fresh journey of understanding what God's grace means to you.  Then serve out of the resulting gratitude and freedom grace gives.  You DO have a vote because you were bought with a price you could not pay.  With this awareness, there is no better way to Serve Strong!

Life Preservers For The Sea Of Overload

A friend of mine on Facebook recently requested recommended reading for the person who's hitting a wall.  I did some research on Amazon that speak to the person who is experiencing this sort of unproductive busy-ness.

NOTE:  If you want to put one of these books (or another book you've been meaning to read) on turbo charge:  It's one thing to simply read a book and get some benefit from it, only to put the book on your shelf to collect dust.  It's quite another thing to add a life coach to the reading and squeeze all the personal benefit out possible AND weave that benefit into the fabric of your life and profession for lasting impact.  Sound interesting?  Email me.

Here are three resources for those experiencing overload right now:

Self Care Post Roundup

The following are the past few Serving Strong posts on the topic of self care for people helpers:

• The Caregiver's Own Care
• Energy From Food
• Family In Transition
• Manage Your Energy, Not Just Your Time

Maintain your own self care as you serve others.  You will be Serving Strong!

Are You Ready For A "Study Leave"?

Duke Divinity School extends an invitation to ministry professionals to spend a week "refilling the spiritual well through self-directed study, worship and prayer on the beautiful Duke University campus."

While at Duke, participants would have full access to the university and divinity libraries and to community worship and lecture opportunities. Also, they may take advantage of class auditing as well as conversations with the Divinity School faculty as appropriate to the topic of study.

If you want to take a week apart from your normal routine to study at Duke Divinity School click on the link to read more.

Duke Study Leave

Pulling aside from our routines to engage in rest, study, or worship is part of Serving Strong!

The Caregiver's Own Care

The video below, posted on the Caregiver's Beacon Blog, contains some interesting and sobering statistics.  Watch:

This indicates how important your self-care will be if you are (or will be) in the role as caregiver to someone else.  Caregiving will impact your other roles and life areas such as you as a spouse, you as parent, your finances, your spiritual walk, your vocation, your hobbies, your physical health, and so on.

Weave self care measures into your life and you will be more likely to Serve Strong!

Energy From Food

"Fueling the body through a proper diet is like putting gasoline in a car," so says an article on yourtotalhealth.village.com.  It goes on to say that our bodies need enough energy to accomplish our daily activities.  A lot of that energy comes from what we put in our bodies.  I am trying my best to improve this area of my own life.  So in my search I found the following list of energizing meals & snacks from the article:

• Celery sticks with peanut butter, juice
• Cereal with milk and fruit
• Cottage cheese, fruit and whole-grain crackers
• Eggs with low-fat meat served in a pita or tortilla, juice
• Fresh fruits and vegetables (with all meals)
• Grilled cheese on whole wheat with tomato, fruit, milk
• Sandwich (chicken, tuna or turkey) on whole grain, fruit
• Smoothie made with low-fat yogurt, fruit and milk

Read the entire article.

Giving yourself energy from what you eat is part of Serving Strong!

Family In Transition

Your family will most likely go through difficult transitions.  This creates a problem with schedules of those in the family.  This takes its toll on children.  Marji Peterson (marriage and family therapist intern, REACH Adoption Social Worker with Aspiranet) points out that,

"Transitions can be difficult for children in general, and particularly difficult for children who have experienced the loss of a primary caretaker through divorce, illness, or death, or placement in foster care due to maltreatment."

Family tension increases during these times.  Peterson shares some tips for parents during periods of transition.  Here are a few:

• Plan nurturing activities
• Share the joy with your children
• Talk to your child
• Build self-care into your life as a parent.

Read the entire article for more tips and greater detail.

Develop a healthy way to deal with challenging transitions in the home and you'll be Serving Strong!

Working Smarter, Not Longer

There is a difference of opinion regarding working long hours and productivity.  The entire article can be read HERE.  Below are some points from that article:

Barbara Holmes, from consultancy Managing Work/Life Balance International, says we should be focused on performance rather than valuing long hours.

According to Managing Work/Life Balance International's national benchmarking survey, now in its 10th year, many workplaces have embraced the idea that working long hours is good, and as a result, the time spent at work has increased by 25 per cent.  The survey also found that working longer decreases productivity and increases stress-related absenteeism.  "About 25% of respondents indicate there has been an increase in working hours as a result of the new 'long hours' culture," the survey found. "Yet there has similarly been an increase in stress-related absences."

Exhaustion, stress, lack of sleep and poor eating habits will lead to a loss in physical and mental well-being. Burn-out is a likely consequence; disillusionment may lead to decreased productivity or even encourage the manager to resign from the organization.

"In the long term, it will be the manager who is rested and refreshed who will do best because their productivity will continue to rise," Holmes says. "These are the type of managers who understand how to put boundaries between their work and personal lives to maintain a healthy balance."

Working smarter, not always longer, is what it means to Serve Strong!

Manage Your Energy, Not Just Your Time

"There are two basic veins of thought when it comes to getting the most accomplished.  The classic view is time management: keep lists, stay focused and organize your time effectively to get everything done.  As a whole, time management works fairly well.  However, it misses a couple key problems, such as:   Why do you burn out?    Why can you have a perfectly organized plan, but still procrastinate?     Why does your mood have an impact on how much work you accomplish in the same amount of time?"

This is the opening quote from a blog that I follow by Scott H. Young.  I think he may really be on to something with personal Energy Management which we can all learn from in our service to others.

Check out the entire post to read more on

• Why a less calorie demanding workload (if you assume typing at a computer uses less fuel than hauling bricks) requires more energy?
• The next step to more energy is in exercising regularly, sleeping enough, etc.
• Put more emphasis on managing your energy and less on managing your time

You may just find that when you manage your energy better, you can Serve Strong!

Note:  pic from www.inl.gov

Special Needs Caregivers: Resources For Your Well Being

A little online research resulted in the following links which can help you design your own personal well-being as you care for your own special needs child or those from other families.

• Wordpress blogs about Caregiver Support
• Caregivers and Caregiving
• Caregiving Basics: A Resource List
• Common Causes of Caregiver Stress
• Effects of Caregiving on Health and Well Being
• Empowering Caregivers
• Family Caregiver Alliance
• Friday's Kids Respite
• Caregivers' Support Network
• Self-Care Central: Caregivers

Resources abound.  Take advantage of them.  Integrate sound balance & self-care principles into your daily journey and you'll be Serving Strong!

Pic from www.fridayskids.org

The Discipline Of Joy

Richard Foster is the author of the book, The Celebration of Discipline.  He was recently interviewed for an article in the September 2008 issue of Christianity Today magazine.  During that interview, he was asked,

"How do you hope spiritual disciplines will shape you in the next 10 years?"

To which Foster replied,

"To learn more about joy in the midst of suffering.  I don't mean necessarily my suffering.  I mean the kind of suffering that does on when you're with people, because you take on their burdens and carry that, but carry it in such a way that it doesn't destroy you, so you can have joy in it."

What spiritual disciplines are keeping the joy for you as you help people?  Spiritual disciplines are a very real part of Serving Strong!

Pic from www.harpercollins.com

To Eat Breakfast Or Not - That Is The Question

I struggle eating breakfast in the morning.  It's just not something I'm hungry for just after waking up.  I'm on a quest to do better.  Here's some research I've found which may be helpful to you, if you feel the same way I do:

Is Breakfast An Important Meal?

• The folks at www.bellybytes.com say that eating breakfast "...not only aids in weight management, it fuels the body to help provide energy, better concentration and problem-solving ability throughout the day."
• Those at www.beyondthebend.com indicate studies which have linked healthy breakfasts with "...less chronic disease, increased longevity and better health."
• A report in the USA Today, contrasts the view of breakfast being the most important meal of the day with those who doubt that fact.  They say those who doubt think breakfast is the most important meal to avoid.  "If you look at the first change dieters make in their habits, it's dropping breakfast."  USA Today, however, shares the other side that breakfast is healthy and then leave it up to you to decide.

What Should I Eat For Breakfast?

• Those at www.zenhabits.com share 10 ideas for breakfast foods, including fruit salads, Kashi Golean Crunch, protein shakes, etc.
• Jonathon Jenkins says it's best to each low sugar cereal, an egg sandwich, pancakes, juice, toast, oatmeal, or fruit.
• eHow.com offers the following:  low-sugar, high-fiber, high-protein choices - begals and cream cheese, a whole-grain fruit-juice-sweetened muffin, scrambled eggs on an English muffin or slice of quiche

So, if you're thinking about adding breakfast to your physical facet of life, these links should help give you more "food for thought" (pun intended).

Let's take care of ourselves and Serve Strong!

The Gym Or A Therapist?

Scott H Young wrote a post on his blog recently about the 7 Reasons Why the Gym Is Better Than Therapy.  Check out some of his reasons:

1. The Gym is Cheaper
2. The Gym Won't Give Advice
3. You Won't Get Fat...

Read the rest and more by clicking here.

Perhaps you are just about ready to take on that New Year's resolution you made back in January.  It's not too late to start!

Take care of yourself and you'll be Serving Strong!

Living With Diabetes?

www.dlife.com looks helpful for you if you are a person with diabetes.

In particular, click on the link to read the article entitled, "7 Self-Care Behaviors".

When Someone Close Dies

As a people helper, you may see a lot of needs of other people in a given amount of time.  But what happens when it's YOU who are struggling because someone close to you has passed away?

Louis LaGrand, Ph.D. has written an article on 5 self-care actions  to take when this happens.  He points out that grief is a "highly stressed filled process demanding enormous amount of energy."  This is energy you need to function in life (not to mention the energy you need to pursue your calling to help others).

He offers the following 5 actions (read the article for more detail):

1. Take a daily stress break of at least 30 minutes.
2. Drink plenty of water and cut back on caffeine use.
3. Treat yourself to something you would like.
4. Take a daily 10-minute walk.
5. Bathe yourself in treasured memories.

Grief is something we each hope we'll never experience but inevitably will at some point in our lives.  Taking care of yourself in these times is crucial to eventually getting back to what you love to do - Serving Strong!

Note:  image from www.mentalhelp.net

The One Thing That Hinders Effective Service

Scott Hughes talks about 3 common unhealthy activities - one of which I'd like to highlight in this post.

The Television.

Scott Hughes considers it possibly the "worst addiction in society" because it engulfs so many people so much of the time.  Hours and hours of time are wasted while we sit idly in front of the TV as our minds stew aimlessly and our bodies increasingly get weak and fat.  I agree (although I'm talking to myself here as much as to you, since I've been known to waste a few hours here and there watching mindless drivel :))

So, what is YOUR television viewing habit?  How much time do YOU spend watching?  Perhaps there's an acceptable amount of TV for the TV to briefly "escape" from the pressures of people helping.  But just imagine how much more time we can devote to the other areas of our life if we get up, turn it off, and walk out of the TV room (quality time with our spouse, time with kids, yard work, calling a good friend, encouraging a neighbor, studying God's Word, reading a book on our particular calling, exercising....)?

Regulate the amount of TV time for maximum impact and you'll be Serving Strong!

Note:  image from www.gadgetaddict.com

All Things To All People?

This is a picture from the window beside my seat on a flight today.  As we landed, I was able to watch the wheel come out of the wing and into position.  As we touched ground, the wheel immediately started spinning, helping us reach a safe stop before we taxied to our gate.

That's all the wheel is designed to do.  After the plane takes off, it goes back up into the wing, out of sight and ready to deploy once the plane is ready to land.

This got me thinking.

As people-helpers, we have responded to the call to help meet the needs of other people.  Sometimes, we find ourselves trying to meet EVERY need of EVERY person who crosses our path.  Soon we become exhausted and spread too thin.  We begin serving outside of our gift mix.  We try to meet needs of others when we're not equipped to do so.

This leads to burnout, irritability, and disillusionment.  We are better when we stay close to within our gift mix, meeting the needs of those who we are called to help.  We cannot be all things to all people all the time.  Just like the airplane tire has a specific function to help a plane land safely, we are designed to serve those needs to which God has called us to meet.  When we get ahead of God, we are in trouble.

What needs were you called to meet?  Are you serving within that calling?  What boundaries are keeping you safe from burnout?

Follow God's plan for your life and you'll remain Serving Strong!

Hurry Up And Wait

As I type this post I sit in the Charlotte airport on a business trip.  I had only 40 minutes to get out of my first flight, through concourse B, onto concourse E and onto the next plane.   Or so I thought.  As I rushed through the airport, I feared I would miss my connecting flight.  I reached the counter and learned that the plane I was so feverishly trying to board hadn't even arrived yet.  In fact, it's still not here (30 minutes after I was to board.)

Isn't life like that?  We spend so much time rushing to something we think is important.  Then we realize that what we were trying to do didn't matter anyway.

What are you rushing to today?  Is it worth your time?

Spend your time working on what matters and you'll be Serving Strong!

OH, I got to go now.  My flight is boarding....

Women In Ministry - Where's Your Identity?

Dr. Linda Mintle has a great article on Christianity Today's Singles Page.  She says,

"Interestingly, in a day when diversity is celebrated, the cultural prescription for beauty is a narrow, one-size-fits-all mentality. And that one size is a skinny size few women ever achieve..."

Her article digs into 3 main thoughts:

1. Measuring Up to Our Culture
2. Taking Control of Our Thoughts
3. Covering Up Our Struggles

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

If you are a people helper and you are currently struggling with your weight and how you think you appear to others, this post will be very helpful.  Dr. Mintle shares from God's view of us and she suggests some very practical thoughts and ideas about mindset, diets versus lifestyles, and more.

Having a healthy view of ourselves is key to Serving Strong!