SERVING STRONG

Bridge People

During a coaching session with a client this morning, I was discussing the coaching concept of "Bridging" people. Below is an updated version of a re-post of the concept:

As people helpers, we come into contact with others' issues. We are called to bear one another's burdens. But how do we maintain perspective and strength to avoid letting others' burdens get us down and make us incapable of serving strong? We "Bridge" people.

What is "bridging" people?

Picture someone sinking in quicksand. Picture a bridge spanning the gulf of the quicksand pit. You are on the side of the pit. You have 2 choices.

SINK. One choice is to jump into the pit and try to help them out. This is a common thing to want to do. But that would only put you in a position to have to save yourself as well as the other person - you could sink in their quicksand and be no help to them.

Jumping into the quicksand means we've allowed ourselves to fall into a level of responsibility for others' choices. We over-identify with them and feel it's our fault they are in the quicksand and we are responsible for their choices. This is uber-empathy. It is NOT healthy

BRIDGE. The other choice is to walk onto the bridge, reach down, take their hand and walk them over to the side of the pit - pulling them out. That way, you stay strong and they get all the help you can give them without you becoming part of their problem.

Bridging means we've preserved our sense of responsibility to obedience to Christ alone. If the other person chooses not to change, we know our self worth is still tied to WHOSE we are, not whether the other person gets better. This is appropriate empathy. It IS healthy.

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What burdens are you helping others carry these days? Are you bridging them? Or are you struggling with over-identification as you sink in the quicksand alongside of them?

How To Burnout In 5 Easy Steps

Staying strong is overrated. All this talk about avoiding the wall? Hooey. You were born to burnout. You were meant for serving weak. Want a quick way to burnout in ministry leadership? Here are 5 easy steps:

1. Seek Unforgiveness. Someone hurt you lately? Cool. Here's what you do: Hold a grudge. That's right. Don't give in to the temptation to be the weaker one. Keep steady. Better yet, give them the silent treatment. Yeah! It will teach them a lesson and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
2. Pursue Passionlessness. Ask yourself this question: "What ministry fuels my passion?" Got your answer? Good. Now do something (anything) that is the opposite of your answer. Do the thing that is a total drag for you. Give it your all. Seek the boredom. Revel in the difficulty. It will annoy those around you and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
3. Engage In Prayerlessness. Got prayer concerns? Want to touch the heart of God? Want to seek and sense His will for your life? Forget it. You're looking to burnout, right? Good. Then cut ALL prayer from your routine. Don't pray in the morning. Don't pray when you're stressed or sad. And don't pray when things are going well. Think of the time you'll save.  It will grieve the Holy Spirit and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
4. Be An Impostor. Are you introverted by nature? Be extroverted. Are you methodical? Be spontaneous. Are you a people person? Then be a recluse. You have to understand that being yourself is simply going to keep you from burning out. So don't be yourself. Better yet, try to be just like someone else. It will irritate your loved ones and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
5. Over-identify. In your work with others, you will feel their pain. This is good. Dwell on it. Identify it so deeply that you begin to feel responsible for it. This will give you ownership of their pain, as though you were the cause. You will sink in the quicksand of their misery. You won't be able to help them because you'll be so depressed yourself. This will help others become co-dependent and you'll be well on your way to burning out.

So you see, if you are interested in burning out, it's quite simple really. Just follow these 5 easy steps and we'll see you in rehab!

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Question: Can you think of more than 5 steps to add to the list?

What Up?

Sometimes life gets heavy.

Heavy isn't always good.

Good depends on our perspective when heavy happens.

What's your perspective when the hot water heater explodes?

What's your perspective when the car breaks down...again?

What's your perspective when the person you've been helping hurts themselves again?

There's a slang phrase I've heard now and then: "What up?"

How about plucking that phrase from American culture and weaving it into your journey?

Every time something heavy happens, ask yourself: "What up?"  (What's God up to? What is my learning in this situation? What is God doing in and through me?...)

God possesses all the strength you'll ever need.

And that's good...

...when life gets heavy.  Wouldn't you agree?

photo credit: www.pictureapromise.com

The Power Of 10

This is a guest post I wrote for a good blogging friend, Kevin Martineau, on his blog Shooting The Breeze. Check out his blog for some GREAT insights and information. Photo credit

 

Someone is reading you the riot act. They are holding nothing back. They are giving it to you with both barrels. They are really throwing you under the bus. They care not what it is doing to you or your self confidence. They are offending you. They are spewing slander at your very character.

The power of 10..... seconds: Stop. Count to 10 and think before anything comes out of your mouth

You are hungry. At least you think you are. It’s almost bedtime. The pint of ice cream in the freezer is calling from the frozen tundra to you. But you know what the doctor said. You must cut out sweets if you're going to avoid getting sick.

The power of 10..... minutes: Stop. Wait for 10 minutes and reconsider before anything goes in your mouth

You are about to make a major purchase. You don't know if you should go in debt over it. You wrestle with the use of the money: should I save it for ministry or should I go ahead and spend it? Will God be pleased with me if I buy it?

The power of 10..... hours: Stop.  Walk away and pray about it for 10 hours before you make a decision

If you are someone with a driving personality, this post may just be for you. It’s important to understand the price of impulsiveness in areas like our relationships, diet, major decisions.

NOTE: I'm not saying there aren't times when we must make quick decisions as leaders. We are, after all, called by God to be stewards of opportunity, but...

There are a lot of times when a quick word said in haste is often regretted; when a quick yield to temptation is often regretted; when a quick purchase is often regretted. And this kind of impulsiveness is the stuff of burnout.

What are other times when impulsiveness is inappropriate?

Priority Power

 

After nearly twenty years of vocational ministry I was getting out.  I was packing up my books, Bibles and battle scars and moving on: one more casualty of ministry burnout who didn’t have a clue about how I had gotten there.

During a lengthy and uncomfortable conversation with a new mentor about my situation I discovered that I hadn’t done the things necessary to help prevent burnout from happening.  In fact, prior to that conversation, I had no clue as to what those things were.

He taught me several keys that have, over the past fifteen years, revolutionized my walk with God and my over all spiritual health.  I have adapted them, made them my own and want to share one of them with you.

Do on purpose the things that help you most! 

What provides encouragement and life to your spirit?  Are there some activities that always seem to nurture your heart?  Some might enjoy listening to music, or enjoy the beauty of nature, or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee on the deck.  The common denominator here is enjoying the activity.  An effective strategy to avoid burnout can start by simply changing your schedule and regularly building some of these activities into your week.

Make them a priority!

Remember, a healthy nurtured spirit is far less susceptible to burnout.  Don’t underestimate the restorative nature of connecting an open heart toward God and the simplicity of an enjoyable activity.  “He leads me beside quite waters…He restores my soul.” Ps 23.

This post comes to you from David Higginbotham, a guest blogger for Serving Strong.  My thanks to him for his interest in helping ministers remove burnout from their ministry equation.

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Is It Stress Or Is It Ministry?

I recently finished reading Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love. Around page 41 he discusses stress and points out a key scripture verse in Philippians 4.4:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Here is an except from Chan's book:

"You'll notice that it doesn't end with '...unless you're doing something extremely important.' No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, 'Do not be anxious about anything.' When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a 'right' to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities."

Did you catch that? We justify our stress because we think we have the right based on the magnitude of our responsibilities.

Nah! That can't be..................... can it?

Think about it. Is your job so important that you must risk your long term impact on the world by engaging in life-shortening stress and worry? Is that what God is calling you to do? Really?

Think about it again. God not only commands us to rejoice and to not be anxious, but us uses the words ALWAYS and ANYTHING:

"Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS."  and  "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING."

The next time you are feeling justified in your worry and stress over your work in ministry, think again. That's not how God rolls.

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BONUS: Two stress-related links to help

Stress Diary

Are You A Positive or Negative Thinker?

You, A Vice President?

You have vices. I have vices.

All God’ children have vices.

Vice: “An evil, degrading, or immoral practice or habit.”

Vices come in all shapes and sizes. Some involve food. Some are found at race tracks or casinos. Others hang out online. These are barriers to what you are trying to accomplish (or better said, what God is trying to do in and through you.)

President: “One appointed or elected to preside over…”

Presidents have power. S/He signs and a piece of paper and it becomes the law of the land. S/He issues an executive order which bypasses congressional approval, setting policy while avoiding debate and opposition.

Think of yourself as president when it comes to your vices. You have a lot more control over them than you think. It all starts with an attitude - the right attitude. An attitude that says, “Through Christ I can do all things.” Then get out there, search for resources, surround yourself with wise relationships, and start overcoming what is keeping you from real, lasting personal growth. You can do it.

YOU can become your own Vice President.

Now place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand and repeat after me….

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Overwhelmed Today?

Ever feel overwhelmed?

I have.

It’s not fun.

Really, it's not.

Overwhelmed: “Rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount or profusion of something.”

Some ideas (if you find yourself weighed down by the excessive)….

STOP. If your tendency is to plow even harder through the slog, stop. Get your bearings. Remember God is never in a hurry. He’s totally in control. Pray to Him for perspective; for guidance; for wisdom.

PRIORITIZE. What has absolutely got to get done in the next block of time? Face it, you are only one person. You can only do so much in a given amount of time. Start the most pressing. Go from there. In my experience, there is something therapeutic about starting out with one task, then another, and another. I call it a “snowball of accomplishment.” It always seems to feed my soul with hope.

EVALUATE. After you’ve worked your way out of crisis mode, take time to ask yourself how you got to the place of overwhelm in the first place. Was it something you need to change in your behavior? Do you need to say “no” to some unnecessary commitments? Do you need to read up on how to stop procrastinating?

What about you? What do YOU do when you find yourself overwhelmed?

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10 Steps To Read A Magazine

Magazines. They are the result of a lot of effort by a lot of people to bring you pertinent content. I personally know a few people who work in the magazine business and I appreciate all that they do. But how do you get the most out of a magazine? Here are 10 steps that I trust will help answer that question:

1. Subscribe to the right mags in the first place. Cancel all subscriptions that don't support your life mission (you do have a life mission don't you?)
2. Go straight to the table of contents. Don't let your eye wander.
3. Read the synopsis by each article. A good mag will provide a short recap of what each article is about.
4. Circle the articles that sound like they will help you move toward your desired life results (you do have desires results don't you?). Don't circle more than 3 or 4. Even if you find more than 4 that look interesting, you will only have so much time to devote.
5. Rip each article out of the mag. This assumes the mag is yours. The impact of ripping them out is to symbolically create a hard separation between the unnecessary content from the content that is likely to be useful to you.
6. Throw away the rest of the mag. Again, this symbolizes you are walking away from unnecessary content. It also removes all temptation to look back.
7. Read just the first sentence of each paragraph. Read more only when a sentence grabs your attention.
8. Jot down all bullet point thoughts of ideas, principles that are new to you. Jot them in your growth journal (you do have a growth journal right?)
9. Throw away the articles. Now that you have captured the essence of each article, you don't need the entire text. Don't worry. There will always be a constant stream of data flowing in this world.
10. Reflect on the bullet point list you generated. Do this over the weeks and months until the next issue rolls around, when you can start the process all over again.

Making the most of reading time is vital to serving strong. New data helps augment your efforts. But it doesn't help if the augmenting process takes you too long or you focus on the unnecessary content.

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Ten Questions Of Strength

[the following is an update of a Feb 28, 2010 post]

So you lead others, huh? How's that working out for you? Are you sure about how your leadership is going? When we are weak, our leadership is weak. When we are strong our leadership is strong.

Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself to do a quick check (the more "yes" answers, the better):

1. Am I free from any unresolved conflict with others?
2. Do I take care of my physical well-being (remembering doctor's recommendations)?
3. Am I eating a well balanced, healthy diet including fruits and vegetables?
4. Do I spend a good amount of time each week sitting quietly, listening to the heartbeat of God for my life?
5. Do I stop at least once per week and review my priorities and goals; celebrate wins; and strategize next steps?
6. Am I working at quality connections with my spouse and children?
7. Am I actively pursuing meaningful relationships with friends and family members?
8. Do I have a plan to get, any remain, out of debt?
9. Do I know what my passion, personality, and proficiencies are (any am I engaged most of my waking hours honoring these?
10. Would God be pleased with the internet history file on my computer?

My prayer is for strong leadership on your behalf. Don't neglect who you are as you serve others.

What other questions have you used to ensure your inner strength?

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Are You Vulnerable?

On this day, March 7th, 1986, divers from the USS Preserver locate the crew cabin of Challenger on the ocean floor.

Earlier that year, the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster occurred when the Shuttle broke apart 73 seconds into its flight, leading to the deaths of its seven crew members. The spacecraft disintegrated over the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of central Florida.

Disintegration of the entire vehicle began after an O-ring seal in its right solid rocket booster (SRB) failed at liftoff. The O-ring failure caused a breach in the SRB joint it sealed, allowing pressurized hot gas from within the solid rocket motor to reach the outside and impinge upon the adjacent SRB attachment hardware and external fuel tank. This led to the separation of the right-hand SRB's aft attachment and the structural failure of the external tank. Aerodynamic forces promptly broke up the orbiter.

Something as simple and relatively insignificant as an O-Ring brought tragedy to the surviving families of seven fine individuals- individuals who were instantly unable to influence others with their lives.

What is your leadership vulnerable to today? A simple flirt with your secretary? Working 10-hour days with little sleep? Not eating right? Not heeding doctor's orders to reduce your cholesterol?

You and I are most vulnerable to that thing that seems insignificant to us. Watch your "O-Ring" issues. Serve strong. Finish strong.

This event and photo is courtesy of: www.todayhistory.net - Today in History for iPhone

Calm In A Stressful Situation

When working with people, every day is a total joy with virtually no stress whatsoever... YEAH, RIGHT!!

We each face stress every day. And some days, the stressful situations can be pretty extreme. I came across an article the other day on www.wikihow.com which shares some excellent how to's on remaining calm in stressful situations. Here are 3 of the ideas:

Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it...

Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how...

Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop...

Click here for the entire list of 7 items

Stress can have a negative impact on our ability to serve strong, if not handled properly. Take this list of 7 and adapt it to your particular situation.

photo credit: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Calm-in-a-Stressful-Situation

Diet Roundup

If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that today's "Tweet Theme" is #diet. In preparing for today, I rounded up some previous blog posts having something to do with the temple we call our body and the impact our diet has on it. Here are four links:

Energy From Food

What Kind Of Eater Are You?

Your Temple Is Scheduled For Demolition

7 Habits Of Highly Ineffective Servants

The purpose of highlighting #diet is because there is a vital role food plays on our ability to serve in ministry. If we ignore the truths about food, we risk not being at peak performance and availability to God when He needs us.

photo credit: healthspablog.org

3 Truths About Social Media Sabbaticals

Last week I posted on taking a social media sabbatical for 24 hours every 7-day span. It is based on the desire to "...return to God with all my heart," as it's stated in Jeremiah 24.7. Click to see the original post.

Yesterday was my first 24-hour period with no connection to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Plaxo, etc., etc. It was good. I didn't have any major profound "aha!" moments. But I did notice a truth - three truths actually:

1. It's good to step away. I realized when I wasn't online, I was more focused on other things like reading or undivided attention on my wife, etc. I think It's good to step away from social media periodically (and not just when sleeping). It's like lifting weights. If I lifted all day everyday, I would injure my muscles. They wouldn't have the opportunity to repair the damage I did to them.
2. It's good to stay connected. I'm not going to say social media is all bad. There is a lot God can do (and is doing) through people over tweets and Facebook status updates - not to mention online chats and discussions where 2 or more people are sincerely discussing God, grace, salvation, helping the homeless, etc.
3. It's best to maintain an overall average balance. Too much of most things is not a good thing. As my Dad has quoted, "Everything in moderation...even moderation!"

So I'm gonna continue to give the 24-7 sabbatical a try for the next few weeks. My hunch is that I will end up building this into my normal routine. I like how it seems to create a richness about the onlin experience. How about you?

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A Lesson From The NCAA

While watching the Duke / Florida NCAA men's basketball game tonight, something occurred to me...

Can you imagine a college basketball team, after finishing a grueling game, sweat dripping down their face, turning around and playing another game right after it's over?

We wouldn't even consider it. And yet, how many of us work hard all day with no intention of taking breaks or resting?

We must respect the role that rest plays in game of life - at the very least make use of a "half time" now and again.

Question: What is your resting cycle?

Social Sabbatical Challenge

In Jeremiah chapter 24 verse 7 we read the following:

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart."

"Return to me with all their heart." This phrase implies a separation prior; a lacking of something vital to relationship. "Return" - the dictionary defines this as to go or come back, as to a former place, position, or state.

Spending time online isn't always a bad thing. But it can distract us from the vital relationship on which we are so dependent if we want to finish strong in mission work.

Therefore I am issuing a challenge to all my Facebook and Twitter friends. I challenge you to take a 24 hour sabbatical from all social network media every 7 days (symbolized by the passage in Jeremiah 24.7). Pick one 24 hour block of time every 7-day period to be completely separate from all social media interaction. In its place, spend time returning to God in prayer, listening, meditation -- in other words, return to God.

Try it for a 30-day trial period. That's what I'm gonna do - beginning Monday February 15 through March 15.

Think you're up to it? Think it's a silly idea? Let me know by your comments if you're in with me or if you're gonna think about it...

Proper Way To Get gas

I got gas today. While standing there I noticed this sticker which read, "You must TURN OFF your vehicle BEFORE pumping gas."

I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it too. It's tempting to simply keep the car running while pumping the gas (especially in the northern states where the wind chill is below freezing).  What harm can there be, right?

But this particular gas station won't let you get away with it. I tried. Actually, I forgot and started to pump away. Then I heard this voice over the loud speaker to turn off my engine. Once I realized the voice from on high was for me, I was embarrassed.

Now, we all know the importance of pulling away from the work in order to replenish our energy levels. But how many of us are actually able to deeply relax when we're "off the clock"? There have been days off when I've not stopped thinking about work before. I bet you have too. The problem with that is we don't get the most of the time off.

Better to "turn off your engine" before you "pump gas" back into your emotional reserves. But how do we do this?

Question for you:

How do you turn your engine off and truly rest on your day off?

Scheduled Maintenance

YouVersion, the powerful bible program, is scheduling themselves for some maintenance tomorrow morning. They said...

"In our continued efforts to keep up with the growth of YouVersion in recent months, we're scheduling some downtime tomorrow morning to spend some time upgrading our hardware."

What a great metaphor for our own personal care!

I, for one, am guilty of not "keeping up with the growth" by "scheduling some downtime" and "upgrading my hardware." Yet it's so vital to serving strong.

What does "Scheduled Maintenance" mean to you?

You're An Idiot

"You're an idiot!"

Imagine hearing that from someone you know. What is your reaction? What do you automatically think? After your initial human reaction, the long term  impact on you depends a lot on how you see yourself.

Someone once said, "I died to Christ and you can't hurt a dead person." I'm not sure I totally agree with that, but I think I understand the underlying principle of the statement. If I hide myself in Christ and surrender my need for approval, at the very least I can put a disparaging "idiot" comment into perspective. If it hurts me, I can bring that hurt to Christ and wrestle through it with Him. In this way, I have deepened my walk with Christ (the "idiot" comment helps me grow my spiritual dimension.) Who knows, maybe Christ wants you to see how you HAVE been an idiot and He gives you the strength to admit a shortcoming with genuine humility - and grow!

How do you see yourself? Are you hidden in Christ? Are you able to put "idiot"-type comments in perspective?

What do YOU think?

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Sync In Progress

You listen as others struggle with the death of a loved one. You counsel the depressed. You preach to people who have not yet seen God's light for themselves. You are a first responder to a tragic accident. You are a friend to a lonely widow. You hold the hand of one who has just learned they have breast cancer...

When you are out there giving of yourself to help others you are burning energy. This energy doesn't replenish automatically on its own. Energy regeneration requires intentional effort on your part. It's a bit like plugging a hand held device into the source of energy to sync files and recharge batteries.

What is your normal time to sync and recharge? When do you pull away from the ministry as an investment in future work? Jesus did this. Follow his lead. And remember, we don't rest from our work. We work from our rest.

People who have a systematic "sync in progress" to their rhythm Serve Strong!

The ball's in YOUR court: How do you sync and recharge? Share your thoughts...

Your Physical Fitness

Here are three resources to check out as you have time. They are designed to help you augment your efforts at staying physically fit and health as you work with people in your calling:

WebMD
Find answers to your questions about
health

Daily Mile
Training log for running, cycling, triathlon

American Heart Association
Building healthier lives, free of
cardiovascular diseases and stroke

You may find a list of free downloads and other links on the Serving Strong resource page.

NOTE:  Although Serving Strong provides these resources, it may not condone or agree with
everything contained therein.

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Empty The Recycle Bin

My daughter called the other day. Said her laptop indicated the hard disk was getting critically full. So she emptied her recycle bin and it freed up over 2 gigs of memory.

How's your capacity to serve others? Are you trying to serve with a full recycle bin? You know, someone comes to you for help and you just can't seem to muster the strength to deal with their situation? Do you feel like you are up to your eyeballs in people's issues - not to mention the fact that you have your own marriage to maintain, kids to parent, a checkbook to update, a lawn to mow....?

We all get overwhelmed. But I believe we add more on ourselves than is necessary. At least I know I do.

What's in your bin?

What kind of stuff do we carry around that could be deleted? Perhaps someone cut us off on the road yesterday and we are still mad at the nameless, faceless person. Or maybe you were overlooked for a promotion 2 years ago - still in the recycle bin? Perhaps you are still wrestling with a sin you committed in your teens. You know you've been gloriously forgiven by God Himself, but you are still beating yourself up over it.

YOUR INPUT & COMMENTS ARE WELCOME: Answer this -- "What else do we tend to stuff into our recycle bin?"

Simple phrase / difficult task (sometimes): LET IT GO. Your impact on others depends on it. Examine your recycle bin. How full is it? Let it go. Empty your recycle bin and you'll be Serving Strong!

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What Is The Source Of Burnout?

I recently posted the following question on my Facebook status:

"Could it be the reason there is an abundance of burnout in ministry is because there is a scarcity of trust in God?"

Here are the responses I've received so far:

__ Even trusting God for others. (NE)

__ More likely a loss of focus on Jesus by all... (AR)

__ My experience with many who have suffered what you may call "burnout" was not a lack of trust in God, but was found to be a lack of watchfulness of those around them, who were to protect and guard their lives. (DP)

__ Burnout comes from having to do it all when those who should be doing it won't and it has to be done. (DA)

__ Maybe we take ourselves too serious. The world was spinning before we were born and it will be spinning when we die. How much do we really give ourselves credit for? I don't think it is how much we get done, but what jewels we find in the process. Remember, the JOY of the Lord is our Strength. If you aren't experiencing JOY, you might not have any strength. (MT)

__ 100% (JC)

__ I think we try to hard to GOD's job. We can't change people. We can only love them. Only God can change them and when we try to do the Holy Spirit's job, which is NOT our job, we get tired and worn out. (CS)

__ Agree with all of the above. We have let God be God. We need to do exactly as He tells us and then...sit back and watch Him do His "thing'. He is so amazing. (SE)

I am interested in what YOU think too. Add your insight. The more we understand where burnout is coming from, the sooner we will be able to eliminate it and Serve Strong!

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Take The Dog Out

We trained our English Shepherd puppy, Emma, from a young age to alert us when she had to do her "business." We then would take her out on the lawn to keep "things" in the right place. At first it was exciting to see Emma ring the bell or scratch at the door. We trained her! But over time the newness of the trick wore off. Some days we'd get lazy and after the third or fourth bell ringing, we'd finally let her out.

One day we misjudged the "ring-to-desperation" ratio. Sure enough, after a couple rings Emma produced a prize on the carpet - the "trophy of neglect" as I like to call it.

It doesn't matter how important the task is at hand. It doesn't matter how important we think we are. There are a few things we MUST do before it's too late. Just like staying sensitive to the dog's ring at the door, we must stay sensitive to how tired we get helping people. We cannot ignore our self care. There is a "trophy of neglect". It's called burnout. It's about "hitting the wall."

Remember to "take the dog out" occasionally and you'll be Serving Strong!

Recharge

We all need to recharge. Such a simple concept. Such a neglected concept. What are you doing to recharge?

Recharge and you'll be Serving Strong!

Present Future, Absent Present (re-post)

The following is a re-post from December of last year. As we embark on the holiday season, I felt it might be of service to you:

____________________

Here are 2 pictures from our family lunch last Sunday.  My son was not occupied with sports or friends.  My daughter was home from college for the Thanksgiving break.  My wife and I were also home.  It seems that the older the kids get, the rarer these family meal times get.

The first picture is the table set before we ate.  Meatloaf with bread on it, mashed potatoes, green beans... yum!  The second picture is after we had eaten and started to clear the table.

 

Why am I showing you this?  Because I want to remind each of us (me included) that if we are preoccupied with things coming up in our future, we'll be that much less present in the present.  We may miss what's going on in the right now of life.  We may miss a divine appoint we weren't ready for.  We may miss cherished times with friends and family.

Distractions and future events have a way of robbing us of our present moments.  But they only do so if we grant permission.  We do have a choice.

Especially as we embark on the holiday season I encourage you to choose your present moments.  Reserve future thinking to a prescribed block of time every once in a while (perhaps to your "weekly review" where you review past progress and plan out immediate and long range goals.)

Be present in the present and you'll be Serving Strong!

Giving Blood

I gave blood for the first time a couple weeks ago. After the needle was removed from my arm, I was escorted to the"refreshment area", an area set up with donuts, juice boxes and cookies. I thoroughly enjoyed that time. I am a sweets junkie.

You know why they have a "refreshment area"? Because you just gave up a part of your body that helps you navigate the stresses and strains on your energy. You need a boost to help you until your body replenishes itself. You need a season of refreshment.

As you minister to the needs of others, you are giving of yourself. Most times this requires you to replenish the energy you gave up for others. Every one of us needs to visit our own personal "refreshment area" from time to time. It's that "me" time we so often mistake for selfishness. It's not selfishness at all when we are gaining energy for the next time we give to others.

What is your "refreshment area"? Is it as simple as a walk in the woods? Perhaps it's a card game with your spouse. Or maybe it's an afternoon nap. Whatever works for you, be sure to understand the depletion of energy and the need for replenishment in the work of helping people.

Visit your "refreshment area" and you'll be Serving Strong!

Attractive But Poisonous

Found an interesting story about plants on www.webecoist.com entitled "Gorgeous But Deadly". It describes 13 plants that are incredibly beautiful to look at but unbelievably deadly if touched. Here's an excerpt of the story:

"Doll’s Eyes, Fairy Bells, Miracle Leaf – how can plants with names like these be dangerous? Eat them, and you’ll be sorry you fell for their deceptive names and unassuming appearances. From a tree that can make you go blind to flowers that even kill unsuspecting honeybees, these 13poisonous plants are anything but innocent...some species, such as Ligustrum ovalifolium,  contain toxic Glycosides which cause abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, weakness, cold and clammy skin."

Likewise, ministry leaders are tempted by any number of seemingly "good" opportunities that come their way. It may be a speaking engagement to an influential crowd; a community leadership position; a chance to write for a blog or take a bigger church position - the list is endless.

Just as the beautiful plants are deadly, these opportunities feed the ego but leave the curious leader burned out. Why? Because they aren't handled with prayer.  They are rushed into with a resounding "yes" and no one has ever counted the cost.

So the next time you are face to face with a great opportunity, ask yourself: How does this fit with what I'm called to do? Where is the time going to come from? What will I have to say "no" to in order to take on this new thing?

Count the cost and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Got Gas?

Pull your car into the gas station. Slide in your credit card. Pull it out. Select the grade of gas you desire. Grab the nozzle. Stick it in your gas tank. Pump the gas.

When it clicks, pull it out. Put the nozzle back in the pump machine. Take your receipt. Pull away.

When the tank is empty, fill it up. When it's full, be on your way. A simple metaphor from life.

Rhythm. We do it for our cars. Why do we think we can go so much farther in ministry on a single tank of emotional "gas"?

Take time to get filled up. Don't burnout. Serve Strong!

A Firecracker Or A Rifle

   Firecracker. Rifle.

What do they have in common? an explosion (in other words, energy).

What is different about them? how they harness that energy.

The FIRECRACKER simply let's the energy escape in all different directions at once. Whimsy. No rhyme or reason. Just bits and pieces going in random patterns with no organization. The RIFLE, by contrast, is designed to take that energy, seal it in a chamber and use it to propel an object to a target with incredible accuracy and intension.

What's this got to do with serving as a ministry leader?

Our society has unfortunately placed a label on creative individuals with a lot of energy, calling them ADD or ADHD sufferers. This is unfortunate because the impact is always negative for the individual. I have coached clients with this type of energy and have heard them talk down about themselves because they say they have "this condition".  This perspective limits the client. It keeps them from being all they could be.

I admit I am not an expert on the condition. But in my humble opinion, this is energy that can and must be harnessed. A notepad kept close to the vest at all times to record seemingly random thoughts; a 30-minute silent focus time in the morning and afternoon; a weekly block of time to simply "go crazy" with ideas verbally as someone is present to record the rambling... these are all mechanisms for harnessing the energy that the creative, movement-oriented personality can employ.

Do YOU have this kind of energy? Perhaps you could employ some mechanisms to keep you focused and harness this energy to start hitting targets (objectives) with incredible accuracy and intension. That's part of Serving Strong!

What are your thoughts on this subject?

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Pastor, Are You Approaching Burnout?

August 21, 2009 I posted on my blog about a pastor who had Google searched the phrase,

"im a pastor on his way to burnout help"

I asked for input from the Christian community to help answer this person's cry for help. I received several responses. Then someone requested that the responses be available as a download. So here it is. Click on the link below to get your free copy of this resource.

Download Ideas For the Pastor Approaching Burnout

 

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Video Games And Losing Pastoral Weight

Janet Maykus, in an article for Sustaining Pastoral Excellence, shares this insight:

"Today, the health and well being of clergy is awful. This was not always the case. The Pulpit and Pew research project at Duke Divinity School points to studies conducted with Protestant clergy in the 1950’s. At that time, Protestant clergy had the lowest rates of disease for every major diagnosis and lived longer and healthier lives than people in any other profession. By 1983, another study found that Protestant clergy had the highest overall work-related stress of various religious professionals and the next to the lowest amount of personal resources to cope with the strain. A third study conducted in 1999 found that clergy have one of the highest death rates due to heart disease of any occupation."

Click to visit the entire article entitled, Condition: Critical. Exploring the causes of poor clergy health

According to the Centers for Disease Control, there are health consequences linked to obesity. These consequences can keep a pastor from serving as strong as they could. To address this, here are a few video games that help a person lose weight. The list is compiled by Mary Ward who writes about health issues. Click to review the entire article for more information. If you or someone you know struggles with health issues arising out of obesity perhaps this will help:

1. Wii Fit

2. GameRunner

3. Exer-Station

4. Dance Dance Revolution

5. Tetris Weightlifting

Taking care of the temple God has given us is part of Serving Strong!

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Sleep In Right

I am currently cultivating Wayne Cordeiro's book Leading On Empty. First let me say this book is a MUST READ for anyone in ministry leadership. It is a textbook that must be kept close at hand and referred to frequently. If you don't have it yet, GET IT TODAY.

Sleep In Right

I want to dig up 7 small paragraphs tucked away on pages 129-130 of the book because I think it beautifully explains the concept, "We Don't Rest From Our Work, We Work From Our Rest."

Wayne begins by asking, "When does your day begin?" The typical answer is morning, right? Wrong. According to the creation story in Genesis 1.8 we find the day begins in the evening ("So the evening and the morning were the second day"). So the day doesn't begin with the morning's activity, but it actually begins with the evening's rest.

"So, if you ever need to sleep in, learn to sleep in on the frontside of the clock, not the back side. Simply said, your deepest sleep is when your REM cycles happen, and that typically takes place between 11pm and 3am. That is when you will get your deepest sleep. If you miss getting to bed before 1am, you will have missed half your chance at receiving your deepest rest. You may think you can sleep until 9am to get your eight hours of sleep. But you are mistaken! You will have had sleep time, but not the rest." (page 129-130, bold italics mine)

This is effective advice because "We Don't Rest From Our Work, We Work From Our Rest." Consider sleeping in on the front side and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Thoughts From A Long Run

As I type this, I am resting from a half marathon I ran with my son this morning. 13.1 miles. I'd like to say I was a machine. I wasn't. The run moved me ugly.

The first several miles my son and I ran side by side. This is how we did our long training runs; the longest of which was 10 miles. But today, I made it quite clear that if he felt the energy, he has complete freedom to run HIS pace, not mine. He took me up on it and finished roughly 19 minutes before me and took first place in his age group. I'm so proud.

(Funny thing while we were running. He said, "if you're working on a blog post right now, here's a thought: I just keep one foot going in front of the other. I don't think about the time or the terrain. Blog THAT.")

Here are some thoughts that did run through my mind during and after the race. They are for your consideration as you seek to serve others:

Run YOUR race. Don't run someone else's. We each have a pace. If we try to run like someone else, we'll either run ourselves to death or reach a level of boredom and we'll soon depart the effort.

Stay hydrated. The minute a runner gets thirsty, he's already dehydrated. It's too late. Better to stay hydrated by drinking even when thirst isn't the reason. In other words, take time off even when things are going good and you don't feel the need.

It's a marathon not a sprint. You may have heard this one before, but think about it again. Life isn't a sprint. Going all out all the time isn't healthy in the long run. And life is a long run. Working with people is messy. It takes time to make an impact for God in ministry.

Invest in your rest. When I was going down hill, I tried to remember to savor the ease. Going downhill in a marathon usually means you will be going uphill again. So invest in the time when it's easy. Hills are part of the journey. Sabbath time; time off; date night - these are all times to be cherished not only for their own sake, but for the future times when your energy will be called upon.

I may not have finished first in my age group (in fact, I believe I finished 92 out of some 100 or so runners). But I really enjoyed knowing my son and I not only finished, we finished our own respective races.

Learn the lessons from a marathon experience and you'll be Serving Strong!

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What Do You RSS?

According to Pingdom, the internet boasts some staggering numbers. Here's a sample of the report as of 2008:

• 1.3 billion – # of email users worldwide
• 186,727,854 – # of websites
• 1,463,632,361 – # of Internet users
• 10 billion– Photos hosted by Facebook

These stats are unique to blogs:

133 million– # of blogs on the Internet (as tracked by Technorati) with 900,000 new blog posts in a day

133 million blogs! 900,000 new posts! Can you imagine? All those thoughts from all those people. People sharing opinions. People sharing statistics. People speaking falsehoods. People speaking truth. Blogs are normally read by those who subscribe through an RSS feed. "RSS" refers to Really Simple Syndication (funny, huh? "simple"). With an RSS subscription, you don't have to go TO the blog to read the posts. Every time a new post is created by the blog owner, it is sent to your chosen reader, such as Google Reader.

With all of this, I have a question: What do YOU subscribe to? Or more correctly, WHO do you subscribe to? What are your RSS feeds? I have learned a few things that have helped maintain margin and protection in my online experience. Here are a few:

1. The Law of Diminishing Returns. Too many RSS feeds and I suffer from information overload. Therefore, I have chosen to subscribe to only a few blogs. I try to rotate to other blogs every once in a while. But I don't try to read it all. It's too much.
2. The Law of the Trump Card. I realize that no one is ever 100% right or 100% wrong. Therefore, I read posts and information with an eye toward the face of God and wise counsel. I try not to always take people at their word. I appreciate their viewpoint and insights but I always allow the Holy Spirit to trump.
3. The Law of Time Well Spent. I am amazed at how the clock takes off in turbo speed when I sit down to read blog posts. Where does the time go? If I'm not careful, I can end up wasting precious time that is meant for maintaining my marriage, developing in my vocation, spending time with my kids. One idea is to set an egg timer and only read until the timer goes off.

These are some of the things I'm learning. If you have any other ideas or thoughts, feel free to share them in a comment.

Use your online time wisely and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Want A Rolex...Cheap?

Spam folders - as common on the technological landscape as grass on a summer meadow in Ohio. We all have these folders. I try to keep mine from growing out of control. Periodically I'll empty the folder.

This morning I just checked my spam folder and one in particular caught my eye. The subject line read,

"I s*elling rolex]es. do you wan$t one? ch]eap nq"

No kidding. I believe what they were trying to say was "I'm selling rolexes. Do you want one cheap?"The extra breaks in the phrase were no doubt an attempt to fly under the spam filter's radar screen. No such luck. Sorry, pal. Spam filter caught you and put you in your place (technological purgatory) until I decide when to flush you down the eToilet forever.

Spam email attempts to sell us something we don't want. It's a nuisance. And the attempts are relentless. Same is true of negative self talk. Think about it for a moment. What are some of the messages do you send yourself all day long?

"I'm no good."

"I won't be able to give up that habit no matter how long I try."

"This circumstance is too difficult to be resolved."

"I'll never reconcile with that person."

"This is going to be a bad day, I can sense it."

"Yeah, you succeeded. But it was just dumb luck. Don't count on it again."

The list goes on and on. Take it from someone who experiences this personally. I have negative self talk going on in my head all the time. I think of this sort of talk as a form of spam coming relentlessly at me. I believe it's part of the human condition as a result of the great Fall of man (thanks Adam).

So the question is: What's our spam filter? How we choose to deal with this negative self talk will have a profound impact on our ability to serve the span of care to which God has called us. If you're down on yourself, for example, you are that much less able to help another person who is down on THEMSELVES. Better to develop a spam filtering technique. That way, even though you can identify with the person who is down on themselves, you can show THEM how THEY can develop their own spam filter. So how do we develop this spam ability?

FIRST STEP

The first step in any sort of spam filter against negative self talk is to get soaking in God's Word. Start with Proverbs. There are 31 of them. That's a Proverb a day for a month. Try the praise Psalms. However you do it, fill your mind with God's perspective.

Your ability to keep yourself from "selling yourself a cheap Rolex" will help you minister to others. Develop your own personal spam filter against negative self talk and you'll be Serving Strong!

Balance Versus Focus?

“Trying to be balanced is often the enemy of remaining focused.”

I saw this quote somewhere several days ago and it keeps following me everywhere I go. It’s been haunting me. I think I know why. So I’m getting my thoughts down before the moment passes. Here goes.

Planting Churches

I understand the call of church planting is hard work.  It takes a commitment of time, resources, energy and a whole lot of faith. There are details to cover, people to inspire and motivate, music to rehearse, multimedia to prepare and events to plan – each week. Church planting isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those with a great big vision and the drive to see it through.

Church Planters are driven. They have a deep-seated desire to bring the Good News to people who are being pursued by God but don’t yet know it. I read somewhere that a lot of successful Planters are either “high D” or “high I” on the DiSC personality profile. These are fast-paced people who get things done. To borrow a phrase from the past, they are “movers and shakers.”

Life Balance or Life Focus?

So how does a mover or a shaker see life balance? How do they view self care? Reading the quote above, one might conclude balance and self care are a nuisance; something for wimps or ego-centered. Perhaps balance and self care are viewed as barriers to successfully growing a new body of believers.

But what about the Planter’s marriage? What about their kids? Where does physical fitness fit in? How does the Planter stay focused on the strength that only comes from the God of John 15? What about the household budget or continuing education?

 Are we sending the wrong message in the church planting community that the only thing worth pursuing is the ministry? How does a Planter stay focused on the work of his/her call when creditors are calling every other day? How is focus at the church maintained when the marriage at home is falling apart or the kids are pursuing destructive paths? What gets done for the church when the Planter is laid up in bed with pneumonia?

Swing

I firmly believe a Planter is more than a Planter. I believe they are multi-faceted. I believe there must be attention given to each facet in appropriate measure over time. I believe a Planter will have a greater chance at success in the long run when balance is part of the equation. But let me clarify. I don’t mean to advocate pursuing balance for balance sake. The goal is not to be balanced. The goal is to fulfill the call of God on our lives. Balance is a healthy way to remain faithful to the call.

Are you a Church Planter?

What do you think? Is the pursuit of life balance the enemy of focus?

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on the subject.

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a pastor on his way to burnout help

I was checking some diagnostics from my website and found a search phrase that led to my blog.

In the search box read, "im a pastor on his way to burnout help" (see post picture).

This looks like a cry for help to me. It's sad in a way. However, apparently, somewhere out there is a pastor who is "on his way" to burnout. The good news about this is that he most likely isn't there yet and recognizes it enough to do some searching.

MY QUESTION TO YOU

If you are a ministry leader and you're reading this, I'm sure you've experienced some or all of the sentiment shared by this unknown soldier's Google search. What advice would you offer him? What should he do NOW to avoid the devastating effects of burnout?

Share your thoughts by commenting on this post.

Share your thoughts through the comment box if you're reading this through Facebook.

Direct Message me if you saw this post through Twitter.

Your insight is what we need. Together we can help out one another. Let's help each other Serve Strong!

Weak Tips

From observations, reading, coaching client interactions, I've compiled a list of surefire ways to maintain weakness in service to others:

1. Stay In Debt. Use credit cards like they are going out of style. Then justify your expenditures with a phrase like, "I've got to build up my credit score."
2. Serve Alone. This will take a little more work for the outgoing, people-oriented. But do your best to engage in ministry without any regard for leaning on the strength, perspective, and assistance of others. You are all you need.
3. Serve Exclusively. Even though you have a number of plates (marriage, parenting, fitness, spiritual growth) forget all that. Your work in helping OTHERS is paramount. If that means neglecting your spouse, kids, health, or walk with God - so be it. The work must be done. Give, give, and give some more. It's the only way.
4. Stop Learning. That's right. You know just enough to be dangerous. Get out there and do the work of a servant. Experience is all you need. Some people believe in 10 years of learning. Not you, 1 year of learning 10 times is good enough. Plus, when you invest in yourself, that's that much more time you could be out there doing the work.

There. That should help get you started. I'm sure there are other tips you can add to the list. Perhaps you may even take the time from your busy schedule to comment on the post (but not if it means helping someone else out - that would mean they would learn. And we don't want that!)

This un-message brought to you by Serving Strong (and, no, the picture is not of me - although I would probably look worse!)

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Heat Prep

I'm sitting on the deck right now as I type this blog post. It's 10:30 in the morning. It's getting really hot. The sun is burning and the humidity is high. I seem to be moving more and more slowly. Sweat has just arrived.

FEMA shares some preventative things to do BEFORE the heat arrives. Here are a few:

Install window air conditioners snugly; insulate if necessary.

Check air-conditioning ducts for proper insulation.

Install temporary window reflectors (for use between windows and drapes), such as aluminum foil-covered cardboard, to reflect heat back outside.

Heat is not just a weather term. When we work with people we experience moments when the "heat" is turned up: interpersonal conflict, misunderstandings, major loss, and even great exciting events. These are the things that reduce our energy level. We must take care of ourselves when we face these moments. If we don't, we run the risk of burning out.

Here are a couple ideas for taking care of yourself BEFORE the heat arrives:

Stay in God's Word.

Develop & maintain a regular exercise routine (seeing a doctor first, if necessary).

Remember to laugh at your self from time to time (give yourself grace).

Taking necessary steps prior to seasons of heat will help you Serve Strong!

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559,000-Mile Testament

Dateline July 18, 2009: Fox News: 90 Year old drives one car for over 559,000 miles and is still going. Excerpt:

"Rachel Veitch, of Orlando, credits her meticulous care and near-obsessive dedication to her car -- she calls it "Chariot" -- as the reason it's still turning over every morning, year after year after year. The retired nurse maintains an exhaustive collection of maintenance records and changes the oil every 3,000 miles.

"Veitch, a mother of four, bought "Chariot" in February 1964 from a dealer in Sanford, Fla., for $3,289. The car has outlasted her three marriages and has gone through eight mufflers, at least 17 batteries and three sets of shocks. Its odometer recently clicked 559,000 miles."

This is a true metaphor of the benefits of self care. You want to finish strong, don't you? So do I. But how often does our care of self get pushed to the backseat as we drive to what is urgent and on fire?

Make self care a priority. It's not selfish when you consider it an investment in your ability to hear from God and do what He's asking you to do. In that way, you are Serving Strong!

My only regret in reading Rachel's story is that she couldn't keep her marriages (3 in all) in proper alignment.

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You Want Fries With That?

The American society supports and encourages instant gratification. We have drive thru's for dry cleaning, Starbuck's iced mochas, french fries, beverages... and today, I went to a drive thru to have the battery in my watch replaced! No kidding (check out the picture of the place on this post). I drove up, gave the lady my watch, and inside of 4 minutes my watch was ready and I was on my way.

But with all this instant gratification, we are in danger of being lulled to sleep, believing our life balance, self care, personal & professional development can be handled just as quickly.

Imagine it: Wouldn't it be cool if we could drive up to a window, order a large life balance with some self-care, a side of life coaching, and a sweet tea (light ice) - then drive off refreshed and renewed?

Sorry. No such thing. Taking care of our vessel takes persistence, patience, and time. If you are going to stay strong in your calling to help other people, you cannot ignore your vessel. So the next time you're tempted to hurry up your development and care, think again. Set yourself up for the long view and you won't be disappointed.

Assume the role of a life-long learner and you'll be Serving Strong!

What Is Life Coaching?

"What is life coaching?"

As a certified life coach, I get this question from time to time. Life coaching is a relatively new approach to personal growth. It is a process to help you not only reach your "point B" with clarity,but provide depth of insight along the way.

Life coaching is regulated by the International Coach Federation (ICF). If you wish to obtain coaching you will want to be sure the coach you select is adhering to the ethical and professional guidelines of the ICF. There are a lot of people who, with no training at all, are calling themselves coaches. But they do not provide the kind of deep, lasting impact clients desire. They can end up doing more harm than good.

The ICF provides a detailed explanation of what coaching is and what it isn't. Here's an excerpt:

What are some typical reasons someone might work with a coach?
There are many reasons that an individual or team might choose to work with a coach, including but not limited to the following:

• There is something at stake (a challenge, stretch goal or opportunity), and it is urgent, compelling or exciting or all of the above;
• There is a gap in knowledge, skills, confidence, or resources;
• There is a desire to accelerate results;
• There is a lack of clarity, and there are choices to be made;
• The individual is extremely successful, and success has started to become problematic;
• Work and life are out of balance, and this is creating unwanted consequences; or
• One has not identified his or her core strengths and how best to leverage them.

For a detailed explanation of life coaching, visit this link to the ICF website:

WHAT IS COACHING?

If you are a people-helper and you think you are ready to invest in life coaching, go for it. Try it for a month. Just be sure you are ready to grow because that's what happens. You'll be Serving Strong!

Run Or Finish?

A little semantics, perhaps. Perhaps not: My son and I are preparing for a half marathon in the Fall. Typically, we say we are "training to run a half marathon." Well, MY SON may be training to RUN a half marathon. I'M training to FINISH it. Big difference.

How are you approaching your life as a people helping professional? Are you trying to RUN? Or are you trying to FINISH? Some of us try to RUN because we think that merely FINISHing isn't good enough. But we try to go too hard too fast and end up never RUNning nor FINISHing because we've "spent our wad", as they say.

RUNning, in the context of this post, is equal to going full out without a consideration for rest and recreation. The mindset is to push, push, push. "There's work to be done," we say in dogmatic style.

FINISHing is a different strategy. Finishing doesn't mean settling for second best. It's a mix of going full out AND swinging back to rest, recreation, regeneration.

I talk with pastors all the time. Never have I met one whose desire is to finish weak. They all want to finish strong. This takes a concentrated effort to weave the habit of "swing" into the fabric of the journey. Swing from execution to planning. Swing from work to rest. Swing from doing to being.

Go for the finish and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Pain Of Grief

As I write this post I am reflecting on a family in our church who are grieving the loss of their young daughter. This does not make sense to me. I know loss is a part of life. I know death is inevitable. But when it happens, all that head knowledge doesn't make it a whole lot easier.

Grieving is a very real part of life for survivors. I remember when my Father-In-Law passed we were all circled around his bed in his bedroom at home as we watched him receive his last breath on earth. This was a profound experience. When asked which is easier: sudden, unexpected death of a loved one, or loss after a prolonged illness, I would have to answer they both carry their own unique weight of pain.

Are you grieving today? Are you working with someone who is grieving? I don't have good answers to share. No pithy metaphor. No cute turn of a phrase. But a prayer that God is all you need at this time in your life.

Here are a few resources on grieving, in the event you are looking*:

Helpguide: Grief & Loss

Helpguide: Helping the grieving

Mayo Clinic: Grieving Process

*These are a result of an online search. Use discretion when exploring the web. Combine it with scripture, wise counsel of others, and deep prayer.

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To Burn Or Not To Burn

Burned Out. If that's you, seek help from a trust friend or professional. You are no good to yourself, to your family, nor to the people you are called to minister to or help.

Far better to PREVENT it altogether. I call the opposite of burnout, BURN. To the question is, "to burn or not to burn."

I stumbled upon a website I found very helpful. It discusses what burnout is, how it is different than stress, etc. One set of bullet points I want to highlight here...

Burnout prevention tips

• Start the day with a relaxing ritual. Rather jumping out of bed as soon as you wake up, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.
• Adopt healthy eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to deal with life’s hassles and demands. 
• Set boundaries. Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests on your time. If you find this difficult, remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things that you truly want to do.
• Take a daily break from technology. Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email.
• Nourish your creative side. Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work.
• Learn how to manage stress. When you’re on the road to burnout, you may feel helpless. But you have a lot more control over stress than you may think. Learning how to manage stress can help you regain your balance.

Here's a link to the entire webpage: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm

Here's a companion webpage related for those of you who are caregivers: http://www.helpguide.org/elder/caring_for_caregivers.htm

When we are well informed about burnout, we are less likely to be overtaken by it. Take steps today to avoid your own burnout and you'll be burning... Serving Strong!

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Strangely Disconnect (re-post)

September 2008 I posted an experience regarding what I call a "Season of Frenzy". I witness a lot of people engaged in this season these days and I thought I'd re-post the thought today. Here it is:

I just came out of a very busy 2-week period.  I was away from home on 3 separate trips.  And because of the trips, I was overly busy at home and the office.  It was what I call a "season of frenzy."

Seasons come and go.  We're in the beginning of Autumn in Ohio and we're seeing sections of trees turning yellow or maroon.  This season is replacing the beautiful summer season we just came through.  And it will be replaced by the winter season.  Seasons were meant to be temporary.

The season I went through is now past and I don't have a trip planned for the near future.  But what I noticed was the toll it took on my marriage relationship.  Throughout the "season of frenzy" and for a time afterward, Jennie and I had to do some reconnecting.  We value quiet time together and the "season" hadn't allowed us to honor that value.  We hadn't connected for longer than we prefer.  We were temporarily out of balance.

Lesson Learned:

I vowed to try and look ahead to any upcoming "seasons of frenzy" and take steps ahead of time to ensure life balance.  For example, in this particular case had I taken preventative measures, I would have carved out at least 2 special dates with Jennie when I was home between trips.  I learned that while in the "season of frenzy" I need to create more intentional boundaries and self care measures.

Learn to navigate through your "seasons of frenzy" and you'll be Serving Strong!

The next issue of the Serving Strong eNews will provide some practical steps in dealing with a Season of Frenzy. If you're not a subscriber to this free resource, CLICK HERE

I just came out of a very busy 2-week period.  I was away from home on 3 separate trips.  And because of the trips, I was overly busy at home and the office.  It was what I call a "season of frenzy."

Seasons come and go.  We're in the beginning of Autumn in Ohio and we're seeing sections of trees turning yellow or maroon.  This season is replacing the beautiful summer season we just came through.  And it will be replaced by the winter season.  Seasons were meant to be temporary.

The season I went through is now past and I don't have a trip planned for the near future.  But what I noticed was the toll it took on my marriage relationship.  Throughout the "season of frenzy" and for a time afterward, Jennie and I had to do some reconnecting.  We value quiet time together and the "season" hadn't allowed us to honor that value.  We hadn't connected for longer than we prefer.  We were temporarily out of balance.

Lesson Learned:

I vowed to try and look ahead to any upcoming "seasons of frenzy" and take steps ahead of time to ensure life balance.  For example, in this particular case had I taken preventative measures, I would have carved out at least 2 special dates with Jennie when I was home between trips.  I learned that while in the "season of frenzy" I need to create more intentional boundaries and self care measures.

Learn to navigate through your "seasons of frenzy" and you'll be Serving Strong!

The next issue of the Serving Strong eNews will provide some practical steps in dealing with a Season of Frenzy. If you're not a subscriber to this free resource, CLICK HERE

Too Much Of A Good Thing

Today is a special day for Americans. Freedom is celebrated all across the country. The staple of the celebration: Fireworks.

It's a beautiful thing to behold fireworks when they burst from the earth and explode in the sky with an array of colors and sound. They have evoked "Ohhh"s and "Awww"s from children and adults for years.

It's also a dangerous thing when fireworks go wrong. The picture in this post apparently is what happens when a homemade firework meets the human hand.

Fireworks: A paradox of beauty and danger.

Working with people: A paradox of a satisfying career and burnout.

You are a people helpers. You labor in the craft of others' burdens. You are problem solvers. You feel others' pain. How do you keep this tremendous callling from eroding into burnout? I suggest 4 habits:

1) Spin. Be sure your plates (Christ follower, spouse, parent, financial, relational, physical, etc.) are spinning with approriate speed and attention.

2) Swing. Be sure to go full out in your work AND go full in to rest and recreate. Remember, it's not so much that you rest from your work as it is you work from your rest.

3) Align. Be sure to spend most of your waking hours engaged in where your passion lies and where your skills are used.

4) Center. Start each day in a posture of brokenness before the God who calls you and stay in that posture the remainder of the day.

Spin, Swing, Align, and Center. These are the habits which help you keep your profession beautiful without burning out.  Serve Strong!

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The Lawn And The Ladder

I come in contact with people who struggle with the way things are. They worry about job security, the economy, the cost of living. They are concerned about the Middle East, threats of nuclear war... the list goes on and on.

Here's a two-step action plan that may help you get a better handle on everything. Take 3 slow, deep breaths and let's get started:

THE LAWN

   Step One: Get it all out on paper. Like cleaning out your garage or house, pull everything out of your mind and on to paper like pulling everything out onto the lawn. There is something therapeutic about this exercise. Many times, people find the volume of concerns is not nearly as big as they were thinking. But that's not it. Merely listing every concern on paper doesn't complete the loop. You must get perspective.

THE LADDER

  Step Two: After everything is out on your "lawn", climb a ladder and survey the landscape. Look at every concern one by one. Consider any trends or ways similar concerns can be grouped together. Then pray over them. Tell God about your anxiety. Tell Him what your concern "hot spots" are (those concerns that are head & shoulders above the rest.) Ask Him for wisdom. Ask Him for a renewed sense of peace. (Remember the "Big Five": God Will Always Come Through.)

Being anxious (whether it's about one thing or multiple things) saps us of energy we need to devote to the people helping profession to which we were called. Absent anxiety, we are Serving Strong!

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Church Planter Burnout

I recently came across an article entitled, "Stuff Nobody Told Me About Church Planting." It listed 7 items. The last one was,

Burnout can really sneek up on you and the members of your core group. That's one reason why most church planters will likely see a significant turnover in their core group members by the third year. Disillusioned and worn-out, some of your best people (including some of your leadership) may leave you, unless you take precautions.

CLICK HERE to read the entire article.

Are you pastoring a church plant? Are you on the staff? Exciting, isn't it? In your excitement over all the newness and adrenaline rush, be sure to take time out for renewal and recreation. That way, the church plant sustains over the long haul and the influence for the kingdom stays healthy. And you keep Serving Strong!

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