SERVING STRONG

Increase Speed, Decrease Reaction Time

In January 2008 I posted how our reaction time slows as our speed increases. This post has consistently been viewed each month for the past year. Here is a re-post for those who have not read it:

Our son has his driver's permit. We are, therefore, doing things such as keeping from putting our foot through the floorboard to help him stop, or grasping at the dashboard to hold on while we pull into traffic.

He's a great driver, really. And we're blessed.

But one thing I've noticed as a parent to a child's driving training: the faster you go, the less your reaction time. If I am going 35 miles per hour and a deer jumps out in front of me, I am more likely to make the necessary adjustments to avoid a collision. Try that at 65 miles per hour and it's near impossible.

Same is true in life. When I am rushing from task to task at a fevered pitch, I am more likely to miss certain opportunities or make necessary adjustments to serve with effectiveness. So, the next time you're tempted to go full out all day, stop. Think...

At what pace can you truly Serve Strong?

Back To Balance

As I write this, I suffer from the common cold. Apparently, my body received a virus which is negatively attacking my system. As a result, my body has kicked into gear to remove the virus. That's why I have so much mucous to fill the kleenexes(okay, TMI). So I am resting. I'm sleeping more. I'm moving slower. All because my body needs to divert the energy to kick the virus. I've also taken medicine to help recover.

EQUILIBRIUM

What's really going on here? My body is trying to get back to equilibrium. It's trying to regain level balance. Things are not right and my immune system is taking care of it.

Sometimes we find ourselves out of balance in life. We've been working really hard on a project. We've let our email bunch up in the inbox. We've been giving and giving and giving without reciprocal rest. This is all normal. It happens to all of us.

So when we realize it, it's time to regain balance. For most of us, it's a simple process of saying "no" and making other adjustments. Sometimes we need to ask for the help of others (like I augmented my recovery with medicine).

Next time you realize you're out of balance, regain your equilibrium and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Pastors: Is Ministry Your Job Or Your Life?

Yesterday, I posed a question on Facebook and Twitter. That question was:

"Pastors - 'Ministry is your job, not your life.' Do you agree?"

I received an incredible response. What follows is an accumulation of those responses for your review.  The consensus seems to be that ministry is a way of life.  The challenge seems to be calling ministry a "job". History has shown that pastors suffer from burnout.  I'm wondering if the burnout is coming from a mindset by pastors and the congregations who sit under their leadership.  The objective is to wipe out burnout from the landscape of pastoral ministry.  Keep the conversation open.  What are your thoughts as you read through these responses from yesterday?

"Agreed but not sure we are taught it that way"

It's a calling NOT an occupation. We have NO paid staff. Pay our own way. Funds raised go 100% to ministry w/no overhead.

Jesus Christ is life. Ministry was an aspect of His life... an extremely important one at that. He's our perfect example.

Ministry may be a job, but is it your lifestyle? Make sure your seat is secured in Heaven too. Glory.

From a non-pastor-- ministry is my life, through Christ. How can one separate the two?

my ministry is an extension of who I am. When I'm healthy I have a healthy ministry. When I'm unhealthy, an unhealthy one

Nope. I can't agree with that. It shows up in all of my life, not just when I "clock-in" or when I'm working for a church.

Ministry (Gk diakonia) is serving or servanthood. Downward mobility. Jesus says,"Do as I do". NOT a job but a lifestyle!

What if both are stewardships: Each, according as he received a gift, to one another ministering it, as good stewards..1 Pe 4

tends to come with job expectations. Rather, I'd call it the freedom to just BE.(I've been reading TheShackagain)

The best ministry is oftentimes just being in relationship. I wouldn't call it a job description, that

I see ministry as the calling of every Christ-follower. Your job, whether pastor or plumber, is part of that.

GOD don't want weekend visitation, GOD wants full custody!

Ministry is a way of life ... !

"Ministry is what I am and do because of Christ in me and what flows out.  I receive a check for my "job" to minister called a pastor.  Too many layman leave the ministry up to those who get the check.  My struggle is...have I cared for some people because I'm getting paid to?  Is that ok to say out loud?  In those cases it would be what I'm paid to do, i.e. a job.  And so is that true ministry?  This questions makes my head hurt.  I'm going to lay down."

"This is very important.  Before I was a pastor, I spent 32 years as a university professor.  When I made demands on students that meant additional demands on my time.  It had a way of taking over my life.  Now that I am a part time pastor that travels to area churches and work from home when I'm not on the road, I find that it can easily take over my life also. It is also very easy to allow ministry demands to squeeze out time for personal meditation and spiritual growth."

"There must be balance between one's calling and their life, health, and welfare...In Phil 2 Epaphroditus is spoken of as having been ill, in fact near death, and this due to his labors to help Paul. The reason he did not die is because God had mercy...mercy being the prevention of a consequence his actions would have otherwise resulted. If we seek the Lord's wisdom and grace for balance we can be and remain effective over a longer term. Many of us are aware of those dedicated to ministry who labored so hard they ended up dying before their time. Some even have said that they would rather burn out than rust out... With the Lord's wisodm and grace we can be sustained, live a long effective life, and be satisfied...(Psalm 91)"

"I may not be a "pastor", but I am working in a ministry that at times can consume my life.  And there are times that that is okay and it's God's appointment.  And there are times that I have to draw a line and say, "I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you about this now, but you could call me at my office."  When we start drawing a line, I feel we are leaving out the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives to lead us.  Gotta be listening, not making rules."

"I agree with Bret - it's both.  Not to sound too holy or righteous but separating it sounds pretty dualistic and not so Biblical."

" It's hard for me to look at Jesus, or even Paul, or James, or any of the other early Christian ministers and see that they differentiated.  The call consumed their lives.  Which is probably why Paul recommended that marriage made it all the more complicated.  I suppose to answer your question well, we'd need to further define "ministry."  For honestly, much of what full-time pastors do is not truly ministry.  Budget reports and the like are to me much less ministry than pastoral counseling and Bible teaching.  Of course everyone's call is different, and some who are better with numbers may be called to do budget reports as a ministry.  But I think you get my point.  However, I think that the true problems arise when we start to draw the lines of ministry and non-ministry too dark.  As Christians, not even pastors, we can't compartmentalize our lives. All of who we are is in the service of Christ, so our whole lives are obedience to him and ministry to others."

"I think reiteration is needed for this question,the way it's worded. I don't believe one can differentiate between the job and the life. As a minister, you are either commited to following the path of God or you aren't. You either provide counsel for those in need, or you don't. I don't see being a minister as a job, but as part of my life, an extension of myself through God. It might have been my choice to make to choose whether or not to follow the calling, but without those in need of spiritual guidance this doesn't exist."

"Interesting question, I believe that the Father God has so intricately woven into who I am, that which He has called me to do, that at times the two are inseperable. Ephesians 2:10 tells me that He created us with the capacity and inclination TO DO, what He ordained us thus would have us to do.  Yet let me add that even in the divine order, He created us to have priorities in life that supercede the call to minister. One such example is that my relationship with Him, comes before any ministry He has called me to perform, as does my marriage and home life. According to Paul's epistle to Timothy, one cannot so much as be a deacon except their marriage and home be in order."

"My perspective on this statement is less about 9-5 or calling, and more about boundaries? For me, the answer is yes, there needs to be boundaries between the two.  Ministry is my life. I don't stop ministering once I've taken off my pastor hat. At the same time, there are boundaries between my role of leading a church and raising my family, caring for myself, etc. Without boundaries, I run the risk of allowing my calling to run my life rather than the Holy Spirit.  Is it my job? Yes. Is it my life? Yes. Are there times to separate the two? You better believe it!  Great provocation, Scott! I want specific thanks in the book you're writing for this! Haha!"

"If I think about how God ordered things, taking care of the family He gave us is second only to Him.  While ministry is a great responsibility, God and family are first.  God and family first means to me that they are my life.  Ministry is so very close behind.  But I can't say I can call it a 'job.'  I think of it more as my mission given by God.  But then again, even when I am on the job, I am still on mission.  Hmmmm this is a brain-teaser.  I looked up 'job' online with Merriam-Webster's dictionary (www.m-w.com) and I suppose it could apply but we tend to think of most 'jobs' as drudgery...doing it because we have to.  The first 2 definitions give a negative connotation and the 3rd is: 3 a (1): something that has to be done : task.....maybe it's too rhetorical to have a definitive answer."

"Ministry is a calling.  There are job-like aspects to it, particularly when dealing with some of the peskier details.  Since I am also called to the arts, I consider myself a clergy-artist."

"It's both!!! Certainly can't live without Christ."

"Ministry is my calling,not my job.  There are times it may feel like a job, but then I am not listening to God.  I am named and claimed by God to be an ordained pastor,just like others are named and claimed by God to teach, or coach, or...  My life is interwovenn in this... when I retire, I will still do ministry."

"That seems like a "trick question".  The same could be asked of professional athletes, artists and musicians.  I think it  is both."

"Ministry is my job.  Faith is my life.  I can walk away from my job at the end of the day (admittedly, this is some days more challenging than others).  I can never walk away from my faith.  I get inspired and encouraged, and uninspired, too, by the things of the world.  I love God, and that's probably why I chose ordained ministry (or maybe it chose me) as my job/vocation in the world.  But it's not who I am.  My baptism is more important to me than my ordination.  And I think I'm a better pastor because of it."

"part of this discussion is somewhat "semantics" around the word/conception of "job".  I manage a hotel - full-time job.  My work here can become "my life" and that's not good.    BUT, still, there is something integral about my "job" and my "life" which would make me hesitant to "buy in" to the statement as it was originally proposed.  Good thoughts, you all!"

"Wasn't ministry Jesus life?"

"I have a question too...do you get paid to minister?"

"Ministry is life, being a pastor is my profession"

"No disagree ministry is all of our lives.....I just happen to get paid for my serving the Lord.....however that is God's grace.  Truth is my family would pay if we had to in order live as all out servants of the Lord!  I guess some would call it a job......for me its a privileged call given by grace and requires me and mine to lay down our lives if need be......Radical discipleship"

"No disagree ministry is all of our lives.....I just happen to get paid for my serving the Lord.....however that is God's grace.  Truth is my family would pay if we had to in order live as all out servants of the Lord!  I guess some would call it a job......for me its a privileged call given by grace and requires me and mine to lay down our lives if need be......Radical discipleship"

"Seems like your passions should be your life - people, ministry, cars, family... work can certainly be a persons "life" or a passionate part of it. "Job" indicates chore... very few passions have time clocks."

"Scott, perhaps you know which of the responders are in the full-time pastoral ministry.  I'd be interested in knowing if there is a clear delineation of opinion from those in FT ministry vs those not.  I had no idea the pressure pastors lived under until I became one."

"enjoying reading all the opinions ~ one little question seems to have struck a nerve in us all~ enjoys all the different outlooks."

"I am trying to figure out why this statement "Ministry is your job, not your life" doesn't sit well with me...it probably has to do with the fact that for nearly 10 years I actively worked in ministry (even though it was not in the pastorate ministry).  I really did look at what God called me to do as ministry and a way of life for me.  For me, to look at it any other way would almost be likened to being a Christian just on Sundays.  Now, that doesn't mean that being sold out for ministry replaces family time, rest time, etc.  God gave us the commandment for the Sabbath and I also believe He desires us to live out His ministry first & foremost in our families."

"I don't think I agree...  but maybe I'm not taking it the right way... ministry=serving in the gifts/how God made you- for His purposes - that to me is my life."

"My ministry is my family.  Being a pastor is my profession.  We will accomplish far more good for the kingdom of heaven by sending Godly, whole, passion filled children into the next generation than by preaching to the masses.  300 years from now, the extent of our impact on the world will depend on our progeny, not our congregations."

"I'm called by God to preach His word. So, I actally dont have a job I would say a calling. As soon as I see it as a job only, then I can quit at 5. I wonder if we posed that question to the Apostle Paul how he would reply?"

"I am not a Pastor, but I disagree,, Ministry should be everyone's life ( not limited to Pastors) You never know when or where God is going to put someone in your pathway. :)"

"I'm wondering.... should our life (the way we live) be a ministry to others...just like Christ's was?"

"Scott,  thanks for the reminder!  I intellectually say, that is correct, but I live the opposite.  It has been a huge struggle.  I live with gulit when I am doing one or the other.  Of course, I'm like many pastors, just kind of messed up."

"As I walk in my home office every morning, I say to myself "this is my mission field""

Facebook and Twitter and Digg, Oh My!

I am getting questions from people in my span of care about social media. People want to know how to work in Twitter or Facebook to their ministry or work with helping people. Honestly, I have had these same questions of myself. I felt like I was taking a shotgun approach with no real masterplan. How much time is wasted this way!

Some say social media is the incremental, consensual relinquishment of personal privacy. Others say it's a great way to lean into community and be a better person for it. I believe somewhere between these two extremes lies the answer. As in most cases, balance is the key. 

Here are 4 habits you need to develop if you are making social media a part of your equation:

Know your objectives ahead of time. What do you want to accomplish with your life? What is God calling you to do? What is the unique expression of your gifts, talents, and passions? Build a masterplan around your calling. That's the big rock. Social media outlets are the pebbles that fill in around the big rock.

Set boundaries ahead of time. If you're not careful, you will easily chew up a couple hours in one sitting as you go from one Facebook status update to Twitter updates, to Ning, to Google, to...  Decide how much time you are going to spend on the various social media outlets. Pick a block of time. If necessary, get a kitchen timer and stop when it goes off.

Preserve your integrity. Watch what you put out there. If you're going away on a trip, it may make more sense to wait until you return home before you let the world know what you did. Be discriminating in your communication. When you do post things about yourself, be yourself. Be authentic.

Protect your morality. Surround yourself with accountability partners. I have built this into my life and I'm working at making it even more robust. It's amazing how much better I feel when I know I have a few honest relationships who are watching out for me. Get software to help you too. I use Covenant Eyes, an online watchful eye that records my every online movement and sends a report to my accountability partners. (Serving Strong is an affiliate of Covenant Eyes. If you enroll using the Promo Code: ServingStrong, your first month is free. Check it out.)

Do you know of any more habits? Share them in the comments field. I certainly could use more insight from you. We all could. Staying on top of social media is part of Serving Strong!

By the way, if you decide to engage in social media, Serving Strong can be part of your equation:

Follow Serving Strong on Twitter

Join the Serving Strong Facebook Group

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Breakthrough or Burnout

Joseph Mattera has been a pastor for more than 25 years.  He has seen many serving in ministry burn out in the name of Christ, then fall away from their purpose. But it can be avoided. Mattera shares signs that show whether you are on the verge of burnout or breakthrough.  Here are 3 of them:

I. When in breakthrough mode you can’t wait to start the day. In burnout you can’t wait for the day to end.

I know from my own life when I have pushed myself too much I have dreaded all the work I saw in front of me. However, when I am living out of the overflow of the life of Christ in me I can’t wait to tackle the greatest challenges in front of me.

II. In breakthrough mode you are ministering out of the overflow of Christ’s life in you. In burnout you are ministering purely out of your natural giftings and spiritual anointing without a fresh infilling from the Holy Spirit.

Those heading for breakthrough are ministering out of a fresh word they receive daily from God (Isaiah 50:1-4). Those headed for burnout are depending only on their natural wisdom and abilities that God anoints, just like the Corinthian Church who operated in the gifts of the Spirit but were moving in the flesh and were not spiritual (1 Corinthians 3:1-4).

III. In breakthrough mode you have passion to serve. In burnout you have passion for pleasure and relaxation.

CLICK TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Breakthrough living is what it means to Serve Strong!

Airplane Mode

I was on a trip the other day and had to fly.  One of the normal rituals passengers always follow: shutting down all electronic devices.  For phones, this means turning it off or putting it on what is called "Airplane Mode."

Airplane Mode shuts off the phone's ability to process incoming and outgoing calls while allowing other functions on the phone to continue working.  It's for a designated amount of time (from the closing of the airplane hatch until the plane lands safely on the ground.)  This got me thinking.

With the increase in distractions (good and bad) such as Facebook, phone calls, meetings, Twitter, visitors, and so on, there is a decrease in our focus.  We find it hard to stay on task long enough to bring them to closure.  We go home divided, fractured, and unsettled.  Is that your picture?  Here's a thought:

Try putting yourself on "Airplane Mode" periodically.  Cut yourself off from the world (shut your office door, or go to a library, turn off the phone, tell your assistant to hold your calls...).  Remain focused on a task until it is completed.  If any stray thoughts occur to you while you're on task, jot the thought down on a notebook pad and continue.  It can be for just an hour, or an afternoon. 

Employ Airplane Mode to the fabric of your work week and you'll be Serving Strong!

Over Capacity

I'm new on Twitter. Here's my account, if you want to follow me:

http://www.twitter.com/ServingStrong

I LOVE Twitter. Just ask my wife (and yes, I'm learning how to balance my Twit with all my other life areas). But something that happens from time to time is message that appears on my screen saying, "Twitter is over capacity."  I refresh my screen and move on. But it gets a bit annoying. I have a task I want to do and it's a little interruption in the flow. Don't get me wrong.

We are like that sometimes. As people helpers, we tend to take on a lot of obligations. The trouble is - we are finite. Our time, energy, and resources do not come with an unlimited supply. Every "yes" we say has a corresponding "no" attached to it.

So the next time you feel "over capacity", stop and ask yourself how much you have committed to lately. Is it time to trim off some of the responsibilities? Is it time to brush the dust off that book on delegation? Is it time to start learning the fine art of saying "no"? Or MORE IMPORTANTLY, is it time to revisit the WHY of WHAT you do?

Keeping from reaching "over capacity" is part of Serving Strong!

How's Your Swing?

Balance is not a destination; it's a dynamic process.  Balance eludes the person who is not intentional about it.  Balance is like a fine wristwatch with many intricately woven gears.

One such gear in balance is the SWING.  Swing represents a rhythm of back and forth movement from one mode of action to another mode.  Here are some examples of Swing:

Waking hours TO sleeping hours

Big picture planning (Covey's Q2 activity) TO Daily task dance floor

Executing work TO stepping back to recreate away from work

Human interaction TO alone time

Balanced people helpers know the value of Swing and they intentionally incorporate it into their life pattern.   How's your Swing?  Have you spent too much time on one end of the pendulum and not enough at the other?  Maybe today's the time to get back to the rhythm of balance.  It's part of Serving Strong!

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Are You Distracted?

Twitter, Facebook, email, phone calls, text messaging, instant messaging, blogging, internet surfing, 24-hour cable TV, satellite radio, ......  These are all great tools.  They are also sources of great distraction.  How are YOU dealing with this aspect of our culture?  Are you able to remain focused on your objectives?

Below is a copy of a Serving Strong eNews issue send mid 2007.  It's just as relevant today as it was then (maybe even more).  As you read it, do an inventory of your life. 

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Wikipedia's definition of distraction is...

 

The diverting of the attention...from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction.  Distraction is caused by...

• lack of ability to pay attention;
• lack of interest in the object of attention;
• greater interest in something other than the object of attention; or
• great intensity, novelty or attractiveness of the source of distraction

Distractions come from external sources (physical stimulus through the 5 senses) or internal sources (thoughts, emotions, daydreams, etc.)  But not all diversions can be considered distractions because their value or importance may be greater than the object of attention (say, a welcomed phone call, creative inspiration, or medical emergency).  Distraction is a major cause of procrastination.

You know how important life balance & self care are to successfully working in the people helping field.  You understand it helps in serving over the length of God's call.  And you know it takes intention to achieve your next desired "horizon".  But life is full of distractions, veering us off course.

 

What to do?

1. Primarily, be aware.  Learn what distractions are to you personally.
2. Close yourself away from the world when engaged in a major ToDo item.
3. Begin each day reviewing your life's purpose.

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If you are interested in a short read every Tuesday morning, SUBSCRIBE by going to:

http://www.servingstrong.com/jointhecommunity.  It's designed to help you stay balanced and healthy as you serve others.

Leading On Empty

Todd Rhoades, on his blog, Monday Morning Insights, has highlighted a book called, Leading On Empty by Wayne Cordeiro.  Looks like a great resource.

Cordeiro writes:

"For over thirty years my drive for excellence propelled me. It wasn't that I was compulsive; I simply had a deep desire to do my best. I drove hard on all cylinders, not realizing that being an entrepreneur means that everything you initiate, by default you must add to your maintenance list...

If you can identify, maybe this book is for you at this time in your life.  Perhaps you know someone who would benefit from it - share this link.

CLICK HERE to get the book.

Leading while on empty is no way to be Serving Strong!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe look helpful and will add value to my subscribers, whether I have personally read them or not. As with all suggested materials, be diligent to assess for yourself whether or not something is right for you.

Three Men - Three Decisions

• Senator Tom Daschle failed to pay more than $128,000 in taxes, partly for free use of a car and driver that had been provided to him by a prominent businessman and Democratic fund-raiser.

• Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps has been caught on camera smoking pot.

• Capt. Chesley B. Sullenberger, III (Sully), the US Airways pilot whose feather-soft landing of Flight 1549 in the Hudson River last month saved the lives of the 155 people on board.

Three men.  Three decisions.

What is behind a good decision?  What leads to a bad decision?  As a people-helper, what can you learn from these three stories?

As we sleep, opportunities are stacked up one by one like dominoes (I don't know who does that.  Maybe there are "opportunity gnomes"  roaming the earth at night.)  The moment we become conscious in the morning, the opportunities start presenting themselves.  Our day starts.  Our decision-making begins as well. 

Depending on how balanced & healthy we are, we will either make GOOD decisions or BAD decisions.  For instance, if we are tired, overwhelmed (or even wildly successful), we aren't prepared to make the best decisions possible.  I don't know what led to each of these men's individual decisions on taxes, smoking dope, or landing a plane.  Only God knows that.  What we see today are the results of those decisions.  What we don't see is what was going on inside each of them BEFORE the decision was made.

The interesting thing is a follow up story about Sully and his soon-to-be overdue library book (which was lost in the cargo hold of the airplane.)  The title? Professional Ethics.  What do you suppose Sully has been feeding his mind on?  How do you think that impacted his decision in the moment of truth?

MORAL:  Read Philippians 4.8.  What you feed your mind (on a continuous basis, along your journey) is what will ultimately show up in the moment of decision.  What are you feeding your mind?  It has a tremendous impact on Serving Strong!

Phelps photo credit

Daschle photo credit

Sullenberger photo credit

Swimming, Doping And Your Leadership

It's all over the news this morning.  Michael Phelps' allegedly smoking dope 3 months after the Olympics and all the attention after his incredible swimming performances.  This post is not created to place blame or exonerate him.  It is designed to point out the incredible pressure we each face as we lead others in the professions of people helping.

You may not see yourself as a leader.  Oh, but you are.  There are people watching you.  You'd be amazed by the people who consider you their silent mentor.  What kind of message are you sending to them?

Serving in the people-helping professions (ministry, healthcare, social service, or caregiving) is a stressful endeavor.  You are dealing in human misery.  You are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Without a plan to remain personally strong, you can give in the the pressure and allow the profession to destroy you.

What are you doing to set boundaries?  What is your plan for margin time?  How do you maintain a work/life balance?  What do you do to recreate?  If you cannot answer these questions, you may be in danger of falling.

I encourage you to take a look at your life and profession today.  Consider the risks of your profession.  Renew your commitment to a lifestyle of balance and healthy living.  The people you serve will be better for it.  YOU will be better for it.  You will be able to Serve Strong!

________________

If you are interested in looking into a personal coaching benefit for yourself, contact me to set up a free, no-obligation session.  Get a sense for what life coaching can do for you as you serve others.  coach@progressmax.com

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Accountability In Action

It's Tuesday morning and I just read a Covenant Eyes accountability report on a friend.  I was asked to be his accountability partner and glad to do it.  I receive his reports on a weekly basis.  As I read down through the report, I am pleased to see,

"no unusual activity this reporting period"

"no high scoring web searches"

"no web sites blocked by the Covenant Eyes Filter"

"no high scoring sites visited during the reporting period"

These are the things I like to see from those who ask me to hold them accountable.  PLUS, I have my own report going to my own accountability partner and I'm glad they too are seeing the same phrases in my accountability report.

Are you using Covenant Eyes yet?  If you aren't, you need to be.  The internet is an incredibly wonderful and devastating thing.  If used right, it can bring a lot of helpful information as you pursue your people helping.  If used wrong, it can destroy all you've worked to achieve.

Serving Strong is an affiliate of Covenant Eyes.  If you sign up using PromoCode: ServingStrong, your first month is free.  But the great thing is, it's not that expensive anyway.  If you want to start surfing safely, here's the link to get started:

GET COVENANT EYES

Safe surfing is part of Serving Strong in your peopl-helping profession!

Say Yes, Say No

What happens when we say yes?  We say no... to something else, of course.  Why?

Because we live in a finite world with finite time, energy, and resources.  Don't agree?  Try running on the treadmill for 24 hours straight and then go to work. We are finite. We need a work / rest rhythm.  We were built for balance.

So when we say "yes" to one thing, we have to make time for it.  Making time means saying "no."  Here's an example:

I recently started the Facebook group, "365 CLUB" as a result of a kindness documented by my friend, Dave Ferguson.  Little did I realize it would grow to over 7,800 members worldwide in 13 days!  This is certainly a God thing.  Be that as it may, it takes my time.  I must keep in mind the other ingredients that make up my life (my relationship with God, my marriage, my parenthood, my coaching, my job, etc.)  If I'm not careful, this exciting new FB group will eat into my other ingredients, causing my imbalance.

So the next time you are presented with an opportunity, consider the upsides, downsides, and overall impact if you said "yes" or if you said "no."  This is Serving Strong!

By the way, I wouldn't trade anything for being used by God to start "365 CLUB."  It's a thrill and delight to see how powerful He is.  I just need to be careful about its impact on my life balance.  What thrilling things are you a part of?  How are you keeping your balance in the midst of it all?

If you haven't considered committing to at least one act of kindness each day of 2009 but want to, go to this link and join the community:

365 CLUB

What Leads To Your Imbalance?

Consider this quote by Scott H. Young, from a recent blog post:

"...short-term obsessions are more productive than trying to maintain balance. Accomplishing something important requires a complete focus, splitting your energies between several different areas at once wastes your time and finishes little."

But what if short-term imbalances lead to long-term imbalances?

According to Young,  people get stuck on one single path which leads to long-term imbalance.  He lists several reasons.  Here are a three:

1. They like doing what they’re best at.  The loner billionaire likes the confidence he gets from making money but dislikes the ego-bruising he gets when trying to connect with other people.
2. They’re used to a certain timing of rewards.  The rewards for business aren’t the same as the rewards for travel or relationships.  The timing of work, investment and payoff are different, so this might make you more attracted to one area of life than another.
3. Denial.  It’s easier to avoid than improve.  If you tell yourself your family, finances or health is fine even when it’s disastrous, you can focus on what you like doing.

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Young offers interesting insight.  Whether you agree or not, understanding exactly what leads to imbalance for you personally can help you navigate away from it and Serve Strong!

imbalance comes from for you personally.  Then you'll be able to deal with it effectively.

How To Make A Good Decision

Each day we wake to a new set of hundreds (perhaps thousands) of choices.  Since our time, energy, and resources are limited, we must make the best choices at each fork in the road.  This is the essence of pursuing excellence.  It's also a key to living in balance.  Choices impact our role as people helper, spouse, parent, and so on.  Choices impact our life areas such as our career, finances, physical health, spiritual health, and so on.

But how do I know I'm making the right decisions each time?

For example, if I'm on the floor at home playing with my two young children in the evening and I get a call on my work phone, how do I know if I should take the call?  The answer is partly based on your objectives; your masterplan.  Let me explain...

Choices Based On Objectives

Consider the evening call as an example.  But this time, instead of simply being on the floor playing with your children, you have determined what the kids really need is a relationship with you.  You understand a relationship with them now will help when they reach the turbulent teen years.  So instead of just killing time with the kids, you are intentionally developing this relationship with them via, say, a lego building exercise.  Now you get that call on your work phone.  A choice must still be made.  Do you pause your relationship-building time to take a work-related call?  Or do you let the call go to voicemail and check it after the kids go to bed?  The choice is still yours.  But a good choice will be made when it's based upon your objectives.

We make choices on a whim when there are no objectives or masterplan to guide us.  We are swayed by the winds of "I ought to do this" or "I ought to do that."  And many people end up imbalanced in their work and life.

Start designing your objectives; your masterplan.  It's the the key to Serving Strong!

Note:  Email me (coach@progressmax.com) for your free coaching session.  If you're serious about making the best decisions this new year, experience how life coaching can benefit you as you design your own personal masterplan.

photo credit

Surfing Your Values (part 3)

Check out Part 1
Check out Part 2

I am linking to a series of posts on the Breaking Free Blog put out by the folks at Covenant Eyes.  They are highlighting Daniel Lohrmann's "Seven Habits of Online Integrity," from his book, Virtual Integrity: Faithfully Navigating the Brave New Web.

Here are the rest of the 7 Habits:

Habit #4: Apply Helpful Technology

Lohrman identifies three broad categories of current technology:  Computer security, Web filtering software, and Accountability software.  All three of these types of software promote a safe online experience.  Some websites are ideal places for you to learn about the different technology options.

Habit #5: Balance Online and Offline Life

Because we live in this Internet age, there is always the risk of spending too much time online in a way that hinders our growth mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally. Taking a brief look around youth culture, for example, one can see a host of time-consuming, compulsive, and unbalanced uses of technology.

Habit #6: Practice Humble Authenticity

Lohrman suggests three ways to practice humble authenticity as we work to surf our values: Conduct honest self-examination, stay away from the "virtual cliffs" in cyberspace, and surft your true identity.

Habit #7: Become a cyber ambassador for good

We belong to another coming kingdom.  That kingdom's values are very different from this world's.  Our power, recognition, status, pleasure, and wealth are totally redefined by our relationship to the King, Jesus Christ.

This post is just the beginning.  To read the entire post on Covenant Eyes' blog, CLICK HERE.

Note: I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

CLICK HERE

to get your first month free with Covenant Eyes' accountability software

(Promo Code: Serving Strong)

Be Strong, Be Broken, Be Effective.

Jon and Angela did something outside the norm this past Thanksgiving. These good friends of mine invited several people to sit for a Thanksgiving Day meal with them (you know, the kind of feast many of us are so used to). These are people who otherwise would not have such a meal to enjoy on this American national holiday.

Turns out many people showed up.  Angela recounts the day on her blog.  CHECK IT OUT.

One point in Angela's blog stood out to me.

"There is such sadness in the lives of many of these people. One friend asked for prayer for her nephew who had been shot three days before - once in the chest and twice in the back, and no one was sure if he was ever going to walk again. Another woman told me of how some years back her husband tried to snap her spine by dropping her on her back over an ottoman. Because of this abuse, not only has her life been scarred, but she can't even hold a job because of her back injuries (along with some mental illnesses, she added). My heart really does break for these people. "

"My heart breaks for these people."  Does that describe how you feel about the people to whom God has called you?  You probably agree this takes strength.  This kind of breaking requires a higher form of stamina and perseverance.  But where does this stamina and perseverance come from?  Where do you go for strength?

I've blogged about it before:  "We don't rest from our work.  We work from our rest."  That's not an original idea of mine, but I believe it with all my heart.  Here are a couple thoughts on where this needed stamina comes from:

• An intimate and organic walk with God.  Ultimately, it is God who calls us to the needs of people.  Therefore, it is only fitting that it be God who provides what we need to do the work.
• Self care.  If we ignore the rest/work/rest/work rhythm of life, we are in danger of burning out.  It's almost as if we are ignoring the law of gravity by jumping off a tall building.  There are consequences to going against God's laws & rhythms.
• Boundaries.  There are things for which we are personally wired.  That means we are NOT wired for it all.  We run into trouble when we try to meet everyone's needs all the time.  This is a hard pill to swallow for some.  The needs are so real.  Many people helpers lose perspective.  We try to do it all.  But through the intimate & organic relationship with God we know when to say "yes" and when to say "no".
• Balance.  If you are called to meet people's needs and you are married and have kids, you need balance.  You are living 3 roles (people helper, spouse, and parent.)  Many get caught up in the people helping at the expense of their marriage or parenthood.  Then they wonder why their spouse is so upset or why their children are acting out with negative social behaviors.

Does you heart break for a cause or a segment of the population?  Great!  Pursue that brokenness.  But remember we are called to be living sacrifices.  Remain broken BEFORE God and effective FOR God.  You'll be Serving Strong!

Surfing Your Values (part 2)

I posted a comment on November 19, 2008.  This is a follow up to that post.

I am linking to a series of posts on the Breaking Free Blog put out by the folks at Covenant Eyes.  They are highlighting Daniel Lohrmann's "Seven Habits of Online Integrity," from his book, Virtual Integrity: Faithfully Navigating the Brave New Web.

Habit #1:  Refresh Your Values in Cyberspace

The first step to surfing our values is remembering what our values are and realizing that they should apply to the Internet as well.  So what are your offline values? What would you label a “good” character quality?  How do your online behaviors match up?

Habit #2:  Pledge Personal Online Integrity

Creating a pledge for Internet use is not something just for protecting children: it is something every adult ought to do.  This personal pledge doesn’t need to be complicated or overly detailed.  One of the best ways to guard children from Internet pitfalls is by setting a standard for them by the way WE live as adults.

Habit #3:  Seek Trusted Accountability

Once we’ve committed to online integrity, it only makes sense that we set up some system of accountability.  Share the details of our pledge with trusted friends or family members, giving them permission to ask you to give an account of your commitment.  Whatever you do, involve someone else in the process who will show you tough love and always challenge you to the standards you have set.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE POST FROM BREAKING FREE BLOG

Note: I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

Surfing Your Values

I subscribe to Covenant Eyes.  It's an online accountability software program that monitors all my online activity.  I have an accountability partner who review an activity report on a weekly basis.  I do not intend to surf the internet for sites that are questionable.  But I want to be extremely cautious as I do my work of blogging, internet research, and website maintenance.  Having that element of accountability honors our God-given design to serve in community rather than as an island.

I HIGHLY recommend that you make the same investment.  Here where you do that.

Covenant Eyes has a companion blog called Breaking Free.  I have found the posts to be very informative and helpful as I navigate this online world of ours.  One recent post discusses part of Daniel Lohrmann’s book, Virtual Integrity, called Seven Habits of Online Integrity.

Here's a quote from Lohrmann:

“I’d like to offer you seven habits to faithfully navigate the brave new Web, which will hopefully become regular practices in your life. One goal of this list is to establish a basic framework for individuals to surf their values. . . . These are action-oriented disciplines that strive to be “non-techie,” easy to understand, and flexible to implement based upon need.”

Watch this video:

I will be following this list of posts as they come out.  I suggest you follow along as well.

Incidentally, I have tagged this post in many of the Serving Strong blog categories intentionally.  Because internet integrity touches so many of our facets of life.  When we are surfing with integrity we are Serving Strong!

We Will Never Have Today Again

Notre Dame's pray.nd.edu site has a great description of what life balance is and means.  Here's an excerpt:

"No balance with yourself – you forget who you are. When you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity. Ultimately we are NOT what we do to make a living. We are the balance of our family, our work, ourselves”

If you are wondering how important balance is, think of it this way,  “What I do today is important, because I will never have today again.”

Balance helps keep the important from crashing to the ground.

Read the entire post on pray.nd.edu.

Balance is one of the key components in the life of a people helper who is Serving Strong!

Life Preservers For The Sea Of Overload

A friend of mine on Facebook recently requested recommended reading for the person who's hitting a wall.  I did some research on Amazon that speak to the person who is experiencing this sort of unproductive busy-ness.

NOTE:  If you want to put one of these books (or another book you've been meaning to read) on turbo charge:  It's one thing to simply read a book and get some benefit from it, only to put the book on your shelf to collect dust.  It's quite another thing to add a life coach to the reading and squeeze all the personal benefit out possible AND weave that benefit into the fabric of your life and profession for lasting impact.  Sound interesting?  Email me.

Here are three resources for those experiencing overload right now:

From Clutter To Focus

UPDATE NOV 3, 2008:  Well, I took the first step.  All my files are in a big blue tub sitting in the basement.  I also have more files next to the tub which wouldn't fit.  Now I'm on to step 2...

Life gets cluttered now and then.  My life is no exception.  I have household files, old bank statements, mortgage papers, vehicle repair receipts, ... you name it.  I've got in all stuffed in a 2-drawer filing cabinet in our laundry room.  Oh, and I also have files stuffed in paper bags, Wal-Mart bags, and boxes in the basement.

Here's what it's doing to me:  It's bothering me.  It's keeping me from being focused on a goal I have recently set to write a book.

Here's what I'm going to do about it:  I'm going to tackle the household file problem and create an organized system going forward.

Here's how I'm going to do it:

1. First, put all the files in one place in the house.  I mean ALL of them.
2. Then group the files, papers, and what-not into groupings (insurance, vital papers, finance, etc.)
3. Then put them in chronological order - newest on top
4. Then purge the oldest papers (unless they need to be kept permanently)
5. Then create new file folders for the remaining current files
6. Finally, develop a regular updating/purging routine

That's what I'm going to do.  Perhaps there is some area in your life that needs some order too.  If so, I trust this post has stirred up the little organizer in you.  If clutter is keeping you from being focused, do something about it.  Break it down into doable steps and then start at it... you'll be Serving Strong!

pic link

Where Do YOU Work?

I recently read an article indicating that 53 percent of working Americans have been interrupted by a work-related phone call or email while in the bathroom.  This was revealed from a survey commissioned by Nokia.   The survey also showed office-related crept into other areas of Americans' lives as well.

With all that being said, 75 percent of working Americans say technology plays a primary role in helping them balance work and life.

People are saying technological tools are allowing for more choices in when and where to do our work.  But that makes it difficult to know when and where to shut out work.  I suppose this will always be a matter of debate.  The question for us is

What boundaries will we establish to ensure life balance?

Know when to say "enough".  Otherwise, your work of helping people may just take over every area of your life (including the bathroom!).  Set your boundaries and you'll be Serving Strong!

Read the entire article for more insight.

pic link

A Life Balance Quiz

I'm a life coach.  Discovery is craft.  Questions are my tools.  I love a good set of questions.  So when I read an article entitled, The Wrong Work Life Balance - How Can You Tell?, and saw the questions, I wanted to share them with you.  They have to do with life balance assessment.  Think of them as a pop quiz for how balanced you are as you read this post.  Here they are:

1. Do you sometimes feel you are not in control of your life?
2. Do you feel you waste so much time commuting or traveling to work?
3. Do you sometimes work late in the evenings or at weekends?
4. Do you bring work home with you?
5. Do you wish you had more leisure time?
6. Have you ever had to cancel a social arrangement in order to do work?
7. Do you feel you are only sticking at your job for the money?
8. Do you find your leisure time is spent with work colleagues rather than your family or friends?
9. Do you find yourself losing sleep through worrying about work problems?
10. Do you wish you could do more work?

So, how did you do on the quiz?

Read the entire article for more insight by the author.

Living life in balance is HUGE to Serving Strong!

Spending Too Much Time On Facebook?

If you're on Facebook at all, you know how easy it is to spend a LOT more time on it than you intended.  This leads to putting off project work, increased stress, loss of productivity, and so on.  What you're doing is creating an imbalance in your use of time.  Facebook time is stealing away the time you have to spend on other activities.

Now, I'm not one to preach against social networking technology like Facebook.  But I do think it needs to be a technology that WE run, not the other way around.

I recently read a good article on how to maximize the time you spend on Facebook.  The author claims you can handle most of your Facebook tasks in as little as 15 minutes per day.  Some of the tips include:

• Update your status.
• Review your news feeds.
• Review news feeds of your friends.
• Review status updates.
• ... and so on.

Click to read the entire article and all 12 ideas.

Don't let technology run your life.  Use technology to help you pursue your calling and you'll be Serving Strong!

Balance Post Roundup

The following are the past few Serving Strong posts on the topic of life balance in people-helping:

• Are You Ready For A Study Leave?
• How Crazy Is Your Life Right Now?
• What Sucks Your Energy From You?
• Working Smarter, Not Longer

Maintain life balance as you serve others.  You will be Serving Strong!

Are You Ready For A "Study Leave"?

Duke Divinity School extends an invitation to ministry professionals to spend a week "refilling the spiritual well through self-directed study, worship and prayer on the beautiful Duke University campus."

While at Duke, participants would have full access to the university and divinity libraries and to community worship and lecture opportunities. Also, they may take advantage of class auditing as well as conversations with the Divinity School faculty as appropriate to the topic of study.

If you want to take a week apart from your normal routine to study at Duke Divinity School click on the link to read more.

Duke Study Leave

Pulling aside from our routines to engage in rest, study, or worship is part of Serving Strong!

Pop Quiz: How Crazy Is Your Life Right Now?

"'Me time is a distant memory for Kate Wiley. Most days she can barely catch her breath between caring for her 18-month-old son, working, and studying to become a dietitian. 'Housework, spending time with my son, a date night with my husband, working, schoolwork -- the list goes on. There are weeks when I feel like I am running at 110% with no time to stop,' Wiley tells WebMD. 'The house isn't clean, I have too many things to do for my internship, and I want to spend time with my child -- quality time where we get to sit and read or cuddle or play. There doesn't seem to be enough time for it all.'  If this sounds like your life, you're in good company."

This is a quote from WebMD regarding life balance.  So, how crazy IS your life right now?  Are you simply going through a season of being overwhelmed or is it chronic?  How can you tell for sure?

Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Living Your Best Life and NOW WHAT? 90 Days to a New Life Direction, recommends evaluating the state of your life with a quiz.

Click here to see that quiz, found on WebMD.

Maintaining life balance is part of Serving Strong!

What Sucks Your Energy From You?

Read this short account of an interview with Henry Cloud (co-author of Boundaries) about the difference between managing time versus identifying your personal issues which keep you from sticking to your priorities.

We can manage our time (getting our priorities straight) OR we can discover what personal issues that are becoming "power drains" (making it difficult to stick to those priorities).

Read the interview here.

Learn the proper way to manage time AND energy and you'll be Serving Strong!

Working Smarter, Not Longer

There is a difference of opinion regarding working long hours and productivity.  The entire article can be read HERE.  Below are some points from that article:

Barbara Holmes, from consultancy Managing Work/Life Balance International, says we should be focused on performance rather than valuing long hours.

According to Managing Work/Life Balance International's national benchmarking survey, now in its 10th year, many workplaces have embraced the idea that working long hours is good, and as a result, the time spent at work has increased by 25 per cent.  The survey also found that working longer decreases productivity and increases stress-related absenteeism.  "About 25% of respondents indicate there has been an increase in working hours as a result of the new 'long hours' culture," the survey found. "Yet there has similarly been an increase in stress-related absences."

Exhaustion, stress, lack of sleep and poor eating habits will lead to a loss in physical and mental well-being. Burn-out is a likely consequence; disillusionment may lead to decreased productivity or even encourage the manager to resign from the organization.

"In the long term, it will be the manager who is rested and refreshed who will do best because their productivity will continue to rise," Holmes says. "These are the type of managers who understand how to put boundaries between their work and personal lives to maintain a healthy balance."

Working smarter, not always longer, is what it means to Serve Strong!

All Your Eggs In One Basket?

Recently, news reports showed the tremendous traffic backup as a result of a fire that broke out in the famous Chunnel (the several-mile underwater tunnel connecting England and France).  Traffic was backed up for miles because this is one of the most used methods of crossing that about 50% of all the vehicles use it.

Part of the definition of balance is the fine art of allocating enough time & energy (your "eggs") into your various life areas so that no one life area gets too much attention at the expense of another.  When all your eggs are in one basket you run the risk of being in wild imbalance.

If you work in the compassion field (i.e. ministry, hospice, first responders, nursing, caregiving) and you are imbalanced, you are in danger of burnout.

Be sure to spread your eggs in ALL your baskets and you'll be Serving Strong!

Watch raw footage of the news item.

The Difference A Slower Pace Makes

I follow an interesting blog called Floating Axhead.  Recently, they posted on the importance of slowing down to more fully experience what is in front of us at the moment.

Immorality or Immortality?

They illustrate it by missing one letter in a word while reading scripture and the letter made all the difference.  The letter "T" changed the entire context of the verse in Romans 2, verse 7:

"To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, He will give eternal life."

See how a quick read can lead to the missing "t", thinking "immortality" reads "immorality", changing the entire way to live?

Read the entire post.

So, slow down and see what's (and who's) REALLY in front of you.  In this age of constant connection with Blackberry's, smart phones, instant messaging, etc., we must take charge of our time and Serve Strong!

Reading Smart

Our world is FULL of resources for the mind.  There are tens of millions of books, magazines, periodicals, and journals filling bookshelves, nightstands, and boxes.

I wonder how much time and money is wasted on the activity of reading.  How much time, for instance, are you spending reading the wrong book when you could be reading a better book?  How much of that time can be spent serving the needs of others or reading books that will cause you to truly grow in your journey?

Scott H. Young posted on this topic the other day.  He offers a way to filter out the wrong books so you can make the most of the resources that are out there for your tailored professional and personal development.  He lists 3 steps you can take to ensure the wrong book doesn't clog your reading flow:

Libraries.  You might not feel the pressure to finish if you haven’t spent any money.  Libraries can take some of the uncertainty away from buying a book.

Have the next book lined up.  Buy/borrow more than one book at a time, this way you’ll always have the next book to move on to, if the first book loses appeal.

Skim the book before reading.  If you aren’t reading a mystery novel, try looking through parts of the book quickly before committing to reading the book.  The introductory chapter often isn’t a great sample for the ideas in the rest of the book.

Read the entire post by Scott H. Young.

Make the most of your time reading books and you'll be Serving Strong!

pic from www.walmsleysoc.org/Leo.html

Work Life Balance Lists

For those of you who like to look at lists, here are a couple links with lists on how to have better work life balance.  Not all suggestions may fit your particular situation (maybe none), but the lists may spark something in your creativity which may enhance your own personal balance:

10 Tips To Help You Have A Better Work Life Balance

1. Be smart about email
2. Use downtown to speed up
3. Take your family with you
4. ...read the rest

3 Steps To Improving Your Work Life Balance

1. Start a 7-day life log
2. Use highlighter pens...
3. ...read the entire article

Remember to keep your balance in mind as you serve and you'll be Serving Strong!

The One Thing That Hinders Effective Service

Scott Hughes talks about 3 common unhealthy activities - one of which I'd like to highlight in this post.

The Television.

Scott Hughes considers it possibly the "worst addiction in society" because it engulfs so many people so much of the time.  Hours and hours of time are wasted while we sit idly in front of the TV as our minds stew aimlessly and our bodies increasingly get weak and fat.  I agree (although I'm talking to myself here as much as to you, since I've been known to waste a few hours here and there watching mindless drivel :))

So, what is YOUR television viewing habit?  How much time do YOU spend watching?  Perhaps there's an acceptable amount of TV for the TV to briefly "escape" from the pressures of people helping.  But just imagine how much more time we can devote to the other areas of our life if we get up, turn it off, and walk out of the TV room (quality time with our spouse, time with kids, yard work, calling a good friend, encouraging a neighbor, studying God's Word, reading a book on our particular calling, exercising....)?

Regulate the amount of TV time for maximum impact and you'll be Serving Strong!

Note:  image from www.gadgetaddict.com

All Things To All People?

This is a picture from the window beside my seat on a flight today.  As we landed, I was able to watch the wheel come out of the wing and into position.  As we touched ground, the wheel immediately started spinning, helping us reach a safe stop before we taxied to our gate.

That's all the wheel is designed to do.  After the plane takes off, it goes back up into the wing, out of sight and ready to deploy once the plane is ready to land.

This got me thinking.

As people-helpers, we have responded to the call to help meet the needs of other people.  Sometimes, we find ourselves trying to meet EVERY need of EVERY person who crosses our path.  Soon we become exhausted and spread too thin.  We begin serving outside of our gift mix.  We try to meet needs of others when we're not equipped to do so.

This leads to burnout, irritability, and disillusionment.  We are better when we stay close to within our gift mix, meeting the needs of those who we are called to help.  We cannot be all things to all people all the time.  Just like the airplane tire has a specific function to help a plane land safely, we are designed to serve those needs to which God has called us to meet.  When we get ahead of God, we are in trouble.

What needs were you called to meet?  Are you serving within that calling?  What boundaries are keeping you safe from burnout?

Follow God's plan for your life and you'll remain Serving Strong!

Man Lays On Motorcycle And Texts While Driving

The ultimate in multitasking risk... check it out.

Guy Lays Down To Text On Motorcycle - Watch more free videos

Your Next Vacation... stay connected or unplug?

It's interesting, isn't it, how opposing the views are about staying connected or completely unplugging during vacation.  Here are 2 links to opposing views on the subject.  Notice the reasoning behind why one author points out the benefits of staying connected while the other points out the benefits of leaving the connection home.

Vacation and stay connected

Vacation unplugged

Decide for yourself what role your vacation has in your overall mission to serve others.  If we work from our rest, how can we best renew and restore?

Make the most of your vacation away from the service and you'll be Serving Strong!

What's Your Purpose?

Jerry Lopper, Personal Development Feature Writer for Suite101, recently wrote an article on work/life balance.  In it, he points that the fundamental building block for a well-balanced life is PURPOSE.  Read the entire article.

And your purpose is...

What has God uniquely wired into you that might give you some clues to the answer to that question?  Here are 2 questions to get you started on a personal journey of discovery...

• Do you prefer to multi-task, or do you find comfort in taking one task at a time?
• Do you get your energy from interacting with people or from being by yourself?

The effort you put forth to knowing your purpose is well worth the time.  If you wake up every morning without a crystal clear understanding and awareness of why you exist, you are subject to the whims of circumstances and other people's agendas for you.  But if you begin each day with a renewed sense of mission, circumstances and other people become the opportunities through which you can fulfill that God-given mission.

Knowing your purpose = Serving Strong!

Mad Church Disease... coming soon

Anne Jackson is coming out with a book soon that deals with the burnout epidemic in our churches.

Check out www.madchurchdisease.com to read more.

Check out Anne's blog for more information and commentary.

The more we are aware of the barriers to serving strong, the more likely we will be able to Serve Strong!

What About The Rest?

In my continuing research and thinking on the topics of life balance and self-care, something has come to my attention regarding rest.

Rest is typically known as that thing we do AFTER we expending energy. For example, after a basketball game in the driveway on a hot, summer afternoon, we plop down on the grass with our heart pumping rapidly. We're tired so we rest. Or we come home from work completely exhausted. So we sit in our favorite chair and relax for a few minutes.  This is called "resting from our work."

But consider flipping that concept upside down.  What if instead of resting from our work, we were to work from our rest?

I've started operating more each day from the posture that I work from my rest. Since doing that, I've noticed that I place a much higher priority on rest. I'm more purposeful about it. I'm more intentional. I'm more in tune with the rest that I need.

How about you? How do you view your rest? Is it just something you do at the end of the day? Consider the concept of making rest the first thing about your work. See how it effects the priority your place on rest in your ministry.

Work from your rest and you'll be Serving Strong!

Who's Responsible For Work-Life Balance?

Just came across an article on the web about Work-Life Balance by Darryl L. Mobley, purportedly the nation's foremost thought leader on Work-Life Balance.

It seems a new Work-Life Balance study shows that most feel that life is running them ragged and they don't know what to do about it. Research among 1,789 adults showed that most people believe that Work-Life Balance is impossible. Among working women, a whopping 87% believe that Work-Life Balance is not possible to achieve. Among working men, an even higher 89% said that Work-Life Balance was not possible.

A couple signs you aren't balanced:

• Poor or worsening relationship with significant other
• Not enough time spend with friends
• Feeling constantly stressed, on-edge, cranky, angry
• Read the entire list of 10 items...

The best thing I like about the article is it points out that Work-Life Balance doesn't come from company programs.  It comes when the individual person determines for themselves a proper mixture of key life areas (work, family, friends, fun, self, etc.)

So, what is your proper mix?  Define that and start taking responsibility for your own Work-Life Balance and you'll be Serving Strong!

Mistakes That Add Stress

Athena Williams-Atwood, President of Work With Ease, lists 5 mistakes that contribute to stress and burnout. They are from a business perspective. But for those in ministry, a lot can still be gained by reading the post. Here are the 5 mistakes:

• Being unclear with work projects
• Not having a business plan, or having an underutilized one
• Limited planning time
• Lack of self-care and personal time
• Losing the passion for your business

READ THE ENTIRE POST.

Sometimes it's what we don't know that tends to trip us up. Stay on top of the things that can add to your stress and burnout and you'll be Serving Strong!

Want Greater Work-Life Balance?

WebMd offers 5 tips for developing a greater work-life balance. Take a look and see if any of the tips are worth looking into for your own work with helping people.

Here are the tips, in a nutshell:

1. Figure out what really matters in your life.
2. Drop unnecessary activities.
3. Protect your private time.
4. Accept help to balance your life.
5. Plan fun and relaxation.

Weaving balance techniques into your swing from activity to rest is a vital part of Serving Strong!

It's All In How You See It

We are faced with a wide array of situations as people helpers. Each situation offers us the opportunity to choose how we are going to respond. Our response depends, in part, how we view the situation. Our view could be right or wrong. Here is an example (thanks to Kim Klaver):

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: "I am blind, please help."

A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it. He returned the sign to the blind man and left.

That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins. The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.

The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.

The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."

You see, it all depends on how we view a situation. Here's another example:

Let's say you're an owner of a store that sells precious, breakable glassware. You've had some instances where children were left unattended and broke several of your inventory.

Remember, it's all in how you view the situation.

One option is to post a sign on the door that reads, "CHILDREN ARE NOT TO BE LEFT UNATTENDED. IF CAUGHT, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE THE STORE."

Or you could do what one store owner did and post this sign:

Our response to situations depends on our view of them. In essence, you could say it depends on our mindset. And our mindset has a tremendous impact on our balance & self-care.

By the way, the Serving Strong eNews subscribers are currently receiving a series on Mindset into their inboxes every Tuesday at 6:00 am EST. If you would like to join the Serving Strong Community and start receiving the eNews, feel free to subscribe. It's free. The issues are short reads designed to keep balance & self-care in the front of your mind as you serve.

View your situations accurately, respond wisely and you'll be Serving Strong!

Quick Notes - Long Journey

The journey of personal growth and development is lifelong. It's not a sprint...it's a marathon. Weaving balance and self-care into the fabric of people-helping doesn't happen overnight.

One skill that will help make the journey effective is in the use of quick notes along the way. When have you had a great thought while on a walk or driving somewhere - only to forget it when you get to the place where you can get it down and not forget it? I have. I'm hit with a great insight and think, "that's a good thought. I should remember that when I get back." And then I never remember it and possibly lose the power the idea represented.

Here are some thoughts on keeping track of the "aha" moments that occur at the strangest times:

• JOTT IT.  Subscribe to Jott.com. This is a great service of calling in a quick note and it will convert your voice messages to text and send you an email.
• CALL YOURSELF.  Make a habit of calling your own mobile phone and leave yourself a quick voice message (make a habit of checking your voicemail everyday).
• WRITE IT DOWN.  Always keep a small notepad and pencil in your pocket or purse.
• USE A BUSINESS CARD.  If you carry business cards with nothing on the back, jot down your thought there and keep it in your pocket till you get home (be sure to make a habit of emptying your pockets each night).
• MEMORIZE IT.  If you can't call in a message or write down anything (maybe because you're driving or in a meeting) - use the power of memorization association. To illustrate this idea, say you're driving and you want to pick up a stuffed toy for your child, some bananas, a gallon of milk, and a newspaper... try a mental picture of a monkey eating a banana, drinking milk while reading the paper. The more absurd the mental picture, the more likely you'll remember when you get to the store.

Take advantage of growing incrementally over the long run. Be on a constant trajectory of getting better and better at life balance and self-care and you'll be Serving Strong!

Piercing Your Egg

In April of 2004, a nine-year-old girl who reheated a boiled egg in a microwave for 40 seconds. About 30 seconds later, when she was carrying the egg, the egg exploded, hitting her in the right eye and face.

The shrapnel from the scalding egg tore open her cornea, the transparent coating that covers the iris and pupil, and caused the lens of her eye to cloud over so she could see only hand movements. Several months later, her vision was restored, but only after two operations in which her cornea was stitched and her damaged lens replaced with a plastic one.

A team of opthalmologists made an appeal in a letter to the British Medical Journal for microwave manufacturers to put warnings on the microwaves themselves to help people be more aware of the dangers of microwaving food that has a closed shell.

Microwave manufacturers do warn people to pierce intact eggs several times before heating them. But the warnings appear in leaflets that many consumers toss aside without notice, says Saurabh Goyal, an opthalmologist at Queen Mary's Hospital in Kent, UK, and one of the letter's authors.

How does an exploding egg relate to balance and self-care for people helpers?

Some people helpers serve in extreme conditions. Perhaps their lives are in constant danger. Or they can't easily get away from their work because they serve overseas in a remote area without a mode of transportation to get away from it all occasionally.

Some people helpers are just plain over busy. The demands of the job pull at them around the clock. There seems to be no escape. They have prioritized their "to do" list and all 400 items are A1 priorities.

Your personal "relief valve"

To prevent explosion of the soul, build in a personalized method to "pierce the shell". Some call this a "relief valve" - a way of releasing the tension brought on by the demands of a people-helping profession. Examples include fly-fishing, taking a walk and praying, playing the piano, working a crossword puzzle, and so on. The key is to find what works for you and take advantage of your relief valve - and you'll be Serving Strong!

Recalibrating - Key To Balanced Ministry

A good friend of mine, Paul (happens to also be my lead pastor) posted a tremendous illustration of how recalibration is helping him serve with balance. Here's an excerpt:

"We purchased a GPS (named her Dora) for the trip. It was great to have such a good tool with us to navigate florida. One thing I notices was how Dora would re-calibrate herself once we missed a turn or stopped to grab a cup of coffee at Starbucks. She would just find out where we are and just adjust the trip to get us to where we were headed. So for every cup of coffee, the trip changed a little, but we ended up at our destination. God really spoke to me last week about areas of my life that have gotten side-tracked. Sometimes we need to get away to realize how far we have drifted..."

Read the entire post to see what changes Paul is making as a result of the time away.

Build recalibration into the fabric of your ministry. Get away from time to time to check your coordinates and you'll be Serving Strong!

The "Hard Worker" Syndrome

What does your family think of you at home? Do they consider you a hard worker? If so, hold on a minute. Don't assume that's a good thing. Gene Bedell, entrepreneur, founder of Tenzing LLC, and parent points out something to ponder in his book, "3 Steps To Yes". If your family thinks you're a hard worker and you are proud of that - there may be more to the story.

You may be thinking you're doing all that work and ministry for them. You may think your work makes it possible for your family to do what they want to do and own what they own. You may also think since you're in the business of helping people, they should understand and be just as excited about your ministry as you are.

But if your spouse needs companionship and your children need help being accepted by their peers, your position as superprovider or superminister is irrelevant to them no matter how much your earnings can provide or how many other people you help. Being a hard worker in people-helping is only part of the equation. Your role as spouse and parent cannot just get your left-overs when you come home at the end of the day.

What kind of worker are you? How do you balance your roles of people-helper, spouse, and parent? Keep a close eye on your influence at work AND home and you'll be Serving Strong!