SERVING STRONG

It's Okay To Borrow

A co-worker and I have been coaching weekly to discuss his workload. Every Monday he reports to me what he was able to accomplish the previous week and what he plans to do the coming week.

We've met for a few weeks now. Every report has shown a lot of tasks getting done, but a lot of tasks NOT getting done as well. He seemed stressed about the items NOT getting done and couldn't feel good about the items that WERE getting done. He was leaving work at the end of the week with a sense of defeat.

That all changed. We tried something radical. I suggested he only put 4 or 5 items on his list for the entire week (instead of the dozen plus he was listing out). At first, he was hesitant. But after thinking, realized the list would always be there. If he gets it all done, he could always "borrow" some of next week's tasks.

Success! Last week, he only listed 5 items. Turns out, he "borrowed" from the next week's list and was able to complete a total of 7 items PLUS 2 more projects he's been working on. That's 9 major items after listing only 5. More importantly, listen to how he describes how his week went:

"I finished everything on my TO DO list and made good progress on everything on the Work On list.  ...having some time to work on future issues was nice. Instead of putting these on my to do list and stressing out trying to get everything done, it was nice to feel like I was ahead of the game when I have some time to work on them."

Got more to do than you have time? Try this experiment:

Make a smaller list for the next work week. Stay on task. See how much more mental energy you have. Then, perhaps like my co-worker, you will enjoy the pleasant process of "borrowing" from the next week's list.

What have YOU found useful in staying productive in your week?

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Help I'm Approaching Burnout

A while ago I inquired of the Serving Strong Facebook friends, Twitter followers, and PowerMail subscribers to help add insight to this phrase:

"I'm a pastor approaching burnout. Help."

The phrase represents a pastor fast approaching the wall. I received a lot of responses. So many responses, in fact, that I compiled them all and placed them in PDF form so you could download it and read it at your leisure. Perhaps you are a pastor approaching your own wall. Or maybe you know one who is. Download it today and put all this great insight to work. As I write this post, I pray that this resource is used to help.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

What would YOU add to help a pastor or other ministry leader to avoid hitting the wall?

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How To Burn Out (revisited)

Back in May I posted about how to burn out in 5 steps. This was one of the most popular post of all time. Another 8 steps was added to the original 5 by way of readers' comments.

Here's a link to the original post

Therefore, I have compiled them all and made a free pdf download of them all for your enjoyment.

Click Here To Download

Note: This download is part of the Resources Page of the Serving Strong website.

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Happy burnout!!

People Pleasing: A Rebuttal

Yesterday I outlined 5 Steps To Becoming A World Class People Pleaser. CLICK HERE to review the post.

As you may have noticed, the entire post was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. The truth is, pleasing people is dangerous. It hurts the person trying to please others because pleasing everyone all the time is simply impossible. And if you stand for anything, you WILL make some people unhappy with you. That's life. People who serve strong in ministry know how to give of themselves without burning out in the process.

Here, then, are a few helpful websites I've found online which address the issue of people pleasing. If you felt yourself get a bit anxious after reading yesterday's post, these may be of benefit to you:

The People Pleaser Pattern

People Pleasing Personality

How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

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QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION: When is people pleasing actually a form of compassion to which Christ calls us?

5 Steps World Class People Pleasing

THIS JUST IN...

...forget everything you've been taught in college or seminary. The Gospel is not as important as you've been led to believe. Ministry leadership is all about people. And people need to be pleased, first and foremost. The Gospel can wait. First please, then lead.

So here is your 5-Step Guide To Becoming A World Class People Pleaser (you can thank me later):

1) First, look at yourself in the mirror every morning and repeat these words: "I must be liked by everyone all the time. I must be liked by everyone all the time. I must be liked by everyone all the time..." Continue this mantra while brushing your teeth, showering, and getting dressed. This is the key to your pleasing success. You are what you think. (NOTE: For world class pleasing, studies have shown it takes an average of 142.75 times of repeating said phrase every morning. Some "pleasers" exceed 250!)

2) Second, throw out all your self-help books (including Bible studies and the like). You won't be needing them. They are a distraction from your number one goal: others. The more you focus on yourself, the less time you have to give others your attention. No one loves a self-absorbed person anyway, right? Personal growth is selfish. Some might argue it downright hedonistic. So STOP growing yourself and start growing others.

3) Third, stop standing for anything. Convictions are the bane of the top "pleasers" in the world. When you believe strongly in something you run the risk of turning a percentage the people off. They will become incensed and possibly talk about you when you're not around. You don't want THAT, do you? Of course not. You're a "pleaser"!

4) Fourth, learn the art of face gazing. The best "pleasers" know when to spot an oncoming frown long before it materializes and they take necessary steps to prevent it. Some use the back peddling technique. Others end their sentence with "...at least that's what I've heard." Whatever you use, remember, smiles = acceptance. You must always see a smile. Smiles are your favorite.

5) Fifth, just before your head hits the pillow at night, evaluate your day. On the credit side of the ledger, list all the people who were happy because of you (THEY are your bread and butter). On the debit side, list those who did not show acceptance. THOSE are the people you must be anxious about. THEY are your "to do" list. (NOTE: A bad dream is evidence you are on the right track).

RELATED POSTS:

You Are Not Your Own

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Clergy Burnout or NOT Clergy Burnout

This post is an open forum. Your thoughts are strongly encouraged:

______________________

Tom Nees, consultant and coach who has served as director of the Nazarene Compassion Ministries, USA/Canada, has written an interesting article on the topic of clergy burnout. Here is an excerpt to give context:

"The plight of stressed-out pastors has attracted a great deal of attention since The New York Times front-page report, 'Taking a Break from the Lord’s Work,' by Paul Vitello and an op-ed response, 'Congregations Gone Wild,' by Jeffrey MacDonald. The Huffington Post followed with 'Soul Care and Roots of Clergy Burnout' by Anne Dilenschneider citing a new report from Clergy Health Initiative at Duke on the poor mental and physical health of pastors."

Nees points out the importance of sifting through what is truth and what is myth. He shares 4 myths about burnout:

Myth One: Taking time off is enough to prevent stress and burnout.
Myth Two: Clergy leaders are in poorer health than the general population.
Myth Three: Older leaders are more likely to burn out than younger leaders.
Myth Four: Clergy leaders are dissatisfied with what they do.

Take a moment to visit the entire article. Then come back and share your thoughts on the topic. Is Dr. Nees right on? Are there more myths?

 

Go It Alone... part 2

This is part 2 of a 2-part blog series written by a new friend of mine. His name is Tim Cole. Over the last ten years Tim has been involved in school work (both in the UK and in the USA with LifeChoices), teaching and speaking, missions, evangelism, prophecy and most of all worship. He has worked for several Churches in the UK, in Maidstone, Kent, where he was the Worship Director's Assistant, and in West Horsley, Surrey where he was Worship Leader. You can find him on the web at www.timcole.org.

CLICK HERE to visit part 1

 

Go It Alone (part 2)

One of the most familiar pictures of the Church we find in the New Testament is in 1 Corinthians 12, the church as a BODY.  Paul is trying to teach the Church in Corinth about appropriate use of spiritual gifts. The core of what he is saying is that NO ONE person has all the gifts and no person can experience the fullness of God's Spirit in isolation. Every part of the body needs every other part. He paints a picture of how the Church should operate, a community of INTERdependant individuals who only experience the full power of God when they come together. One has a message in tongues, one has the interpretation, another has a prophecy and still another a word of knowledge. On their own these things have some use, but brought together and exercised together, they have immense power. God designed it that way. He chose, by His Spirit, to give each of us different gifts, but in order to fully function we all need each other. Personally I believe one of the failings of the "charismatic" movement is that it can elevate individual personalities and gifts instead of realising that the gifts themselves - when exercised Biblically - have a deeper purpose. The point of the gifts are to help teach us how to live and co-operate in Godly interdependence. In short, the point of the gifts of the Spirit, used correctly, is to produce the fruit of the Spirit.

As I said in part one, it can be hard for us to admit that we need other people. It can be especially hard for leaders. We get afraid of admitting we need others… what if that means they don't respect us or they question our decisions? Often that fear is unfounded. The reality I have seen is that leaders who are honest, vulnerable, humble and share their own weaknesses have an ability to bring incredible release, freedom and healing to others. In my experience, I've seen that they tend to gain the respect of others, not lose it. In contrast those who try and go it alone - creating a plastic persona of perfection, keeping everyone at a distance while trying to dazzle and impress, look successful for a while but often crash and burn spectacularly, damaging a lot of others along the way. The isolation and pressure to carry too heavy a burden alone crushes them.

The truth is none of us can do this alone, and we are not meant to. I need your help and you know what? You need mine. That's not weakness, that's not wrong, that's exactly the way God intends it.

 

What are ways your serve interdependently? In what ways are you tempted to go it alone?

Go It Alone...

This is part 1 of a 2-part blog series written by a new friend of mine. His name is Tim Cole. Over the last ten years Tim has been involved in school work (both in the UK and in the USA with LifeChoices), teaching and speaking, missions, evangelism, prophecy and most of all worship. He has worked for several Churches in the UK, in Maidstone, Kent, where he was the Worship Director's Assistant, and in West Horsley, Surrey where he was Worship Leader. You can find him on the web at www.timcole.org.

 

Go It Alone...

 

"I need your help. I can't do what I am called to do on my own. Some days I get really down, I get really discouraged, I just can't see the point of it all. I feel like I am pushing on the ocean. Some days I feel I can hear God loud and clear, other times its like I'm lost in a fog. I need help."

 

Those kind of admissions go against the grain. In our society we are taught to be strong, to be self reliant and independent. We wrongly believe that to be strong means to never admit a weakness. We buy into a lie that strength means we don't need anyone else - or, if we're a bit more spiritual, we don't need anyone but God. "Me and God, we can take on the world!"

 

Well, although that's true in a sense, it's not what God planned. Right back in the beginning God said "it's not good for man to be alone". God planned us and made us for relationship and for community. We are not meant to be INdependent people, we are meant to be an INTERdependent community. Every metaphor the New Testament uses for the church speak of interconnected and interdependent relationships. The New Testament never compares the church to a government institution, a religious organisation or a business. All of those things existed 2000 years ago but the Bible uses very different illustrations, it speaks of a family, a community and a BODY.

Interdependence is the key - as Paul says in 1 Corinthians, every part of the body is important and they are all needed - and need to be CONNECTED in order for the body to function healthily. We need each other, we were made for God and one another. You might be extremely gifted, able and called - but you still need other people. Let's have a reality check for a moment. God doesn't need you to save the world. He wants you to work with Him to be a part of the story of restoration and redemption, but no matter how gifted you are, how big your church or ministry is… you are just a part of the over all picture. You need other people.

Be honest. Where do you need to ask for help? Doing it now could save you and others a lot of pain.

 

...Be sure to come back tomorrow for part 2 of this blog series

Pausing

In Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, we read there is a "time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Verse 7 says, "...a time to be silent and a time to speak."  For the next few days I will be taking some time away to "be silent" from blogging and concentrate on a few other items on my plate. Blogging is a joy for me. It's therapeutic. You can be sure I will return and re-engage in "the conversation" soon.

In the meantime, my prayer is that you will benefit from these resources:

The "Don't Stop Growing" blog series

This is an aggregation of blog posts I come across which have more to do with how to BE than how to DO. I believe it's not only important to hone WHAT we do, but also WHO we are in Christ.  There are some pretty amazing bloggers. Each of their blog posts are quality and thought-provoking.

My Twitter Lists

Over time, I have gotten to know some really great people who have really great things to say. There are so many that I've put them into groups. Feel free to check them out. If you don't have a Twitter account, set one up and start following some of them. I have been enriched by what they "tweet". Maybe you will too.

See you in a few days... God bless!

Scott Couchenour

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The Face I've Never Seen

My son* follows Christ.

I follow Christ.

My Dad follows Christ.

My Dad's Dad followed Christ... but not always:

My grandpa (William Isaac) was a hardened coal miner, bound for a life of misery followed by an eternal separation from God. And no doubt, his son (my Dad) would easily follow in his footsteps. But God had other plans.

Years ago, a relationship was formed in a small, coal-mining town in Western Pennsylvania. Someone was serving strong enough to engage my grandfather in a series of conversations. God used these conversations to get into the heart of William Isaac. God turned his life around and called him to a life of full-time pastoral ministry. Today I reap the benefit of knowing Christ because of someone I haven't met yet.

I've never seen the face of the person who was instrumental in my grandpa's conversation / conversion process. But in heaven, after I see the face of Christ, he (or she) is the next face I want to see. And I'll say thanks... for serving strong!

Are YOU serving strong enough to recognize a key conversation today? You may just be setting the course of multiple generations in one family. Stay strong!

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*NOTE: The men were only mentioned for simplicity of a blog post. Of course the women of the family are an incredible force in our family too!

"Moody" Institute

I am moody.

There, I said it. I suffer from the moodiness plague. I don't think I'm alone in this. I think it's probably a human condition. Regardless, when moodiness runs rampant, it keeps the ministry leader from serving strong. So, I thought I'd share a couple insights about what I've been learning at my own "Moody Institute"...

I can't always trust my moods, but I do.

When I'm happy, I think the world is 100% right -- It isn't. When I'm depressed, I think the world is 100% bad -- It isn't. Nothing is ever 100% right nor 100% wrong.

Routines always circumvent the negative impact of my moods.

I know the value of quiet time with God, especially in the morning and evening. Sometimes I feel like quieting my mind. Sometimes I don't. If I relied solely on how I felt about it, I'd be hit or miss. A routine, however, keeps me more consistent. For example, if I spend 10 minutes reading scripture, 10 minutes praying for others and 10 minutes in quiet listening - that becomes my 3-step task. When I feel like doing it, I can embellish the routine. When I don't feel like doing it, I can at least stick to the routine as the base. In fact, it may be a ploy of the enemy to keep me from time with God when I don't feel like it. So I am more likely to hear something big from God in the times when I initially don't feel like it.

I can seize the moment when the mood is right.

If I am feeling particularly good, I can take out the encouragement cards from my desk drawer and fire off a bunch of encouraging notes to people. Why not take advantage of the lighter mood? They are going to come anyway. When I'm in a bad mood, it's best not to make major decisions or say too much.

Moods aren't totally in control of my life.

Although moods come and go, there are some things I can do to minimize their impact. For example, I can get adequate sleep. That keeps my bad moods from growing too big. I can engage in a hobby. That strengthens the "good mood muscle". Here's a link to Scott Young's blog on how to get back into a good mood.

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What about you - How do you wrestle with moodiness (please don't tell me I'm the only moody person alive)?

Season of Frenzy - Part 4 of 4

This is the final installment of a four-part series. If you haven't read Part 1, I urge you to do so. Part 1 includes a needed brief backdrop).

Click here to read Part 1

Click here to read Part 2

Click here to read Part 3

HOW I TOOK MY PULSE

At the end of each day, I would reflect back on the events of that day. I would rate myself on a scale of 0 - 5 on nine separate areas* (0 meant nonexistent. 5 meant more prevalent) Here are the 9 areas I watched:

1) Depressed Mood

2) Anhedonia (when something that I normally loved to do I no longer felt like doing)

3) Weight Loss, or Gain

4) Insomnia, or Hypersomnia

5) Psycho-motor Agitation, or Retardation

6) Fatigue or Loss of Energy

7) Feelings of Worthlessness or Inappropriate Guilt

8) Diminished Concentration, Indecisiveness, Difficulty Thinking

9) Thoughts of Death

*Keep in mind, I was under contract with a qualified life coach who also had a therapy background and was properly suited to help me evaluate these 9 areas. I do not recommend reviewing these on yourself without the aid of a qualified individual.

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Thank you for traveling with me over these 4 posts on Season of Frenzy. I would like to know what your thoughts are on the topic. Are you currently in such a Season yourself right now? Do you see one on the horizon? What are you thinking and feeling?

Season of Frenzy - Part 3 of 4

This is part 3 of a four-part series. If you haven't read Part 1, I urge you to do so. Part 1 includes a needed brief backdrop).

Click here to read Part 1

Click here to read Part 2

THINGS I'VE NOTICED

Here is a list of general things I noticed as I reflect back on my Season of Frenzy:

1) Sunshine is a boost to my emotions.

2) A break (to do what I love doing) makes me more productive in the long run.

3) Having a "command and control" mechanism (such as my "Daily Sanity") is vital. I know everything is always in one place. Knowing this, I preserve the mind space needed to be in the moment.

4) I must eat throughout the day to keep depression or anxiety from creeping up and taking me by surprise.

These were just a few things I learned along the way. Part 4 is entitled, "HOW I TOOK MY PULSE". Stay tuned...

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What are you learning along your journey these days?

Season of Frenzy - Part 2 of 4

This is part 2 of a four-part series. If you haven't read Part 1, I urge you to do so. It includes a brief backdrop).

Click here to read Part 1

Throughout my recent Season of Frenzy, I did some growing up. With the assistance of the 4 measures (outlined in Part 1 of this series) I discovered...

HOW I GREW PERSONALLY

1) I was more relaxed than I ever would have been trying to navigate the Season on my own.

2) I was less prone to flying off the handle when facing perplexing requests or actions taken by others.

3) I developed a healthy respect for the devastating impact of depression and how quickly it can sneak up on me.

4) I developed more routines with more meaning.

5) I was more bold and purposeful in my conversations with key individuals.

6) I gained more clarity of purpose in my work.

7) I discovered more dependence on strength coming from God rather than from reading, study, practice. I came to the end of myself. I learned the value of IMPARTED strength in addition to DEVELOPED strength.

8) I learned to comply surrender more frequently instead of after a long period of kicking and screaming in my own strength.

9) I realized that the priority tasks are always less in number than the trivial mass.

10) I learned how to use more block time for greater results.

I sure have a lot more growth to experience. These were just a few of the things I learned. Part 3 is entitled, "THINGS I'VE NOTICED". Stay tuned...

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What are you learning about yourself in these days?

Season of Frenzy - Part 1 of 4

This is a four-part series to be posted this week. This Part 1 will include the following additional backdrop:

These are interesting days. The world economy is changing. Many, many people are asked to do more with less. Businesses are cutting back, leaving survivors to pick up the slack. Churches are reducing staff, requiring more work for those who stay. Sometimes God calls us to start an initiative which is going to demand that we serve outside our comfort zone for a season. These are all examples of what I call the "Season of Frenzy".

Seasons of Frenzy are those times when we are temporarily going at a dangerous speed. I say "temporary" because it's not how we were designed to live chronically. The Season of Frenzy is a harsh taskmaster. We all go through them from time to time.

I could see a Season of Frenzy approaching in my life little over a year ago. It had the potential of driving me into burnout; into depression. I had to take precautionary measures. Boy did I struggle! (I'm not perfect by any means) But, oh how I found success in Christ! (God sure is perfect)

With the assistance of a life coach, I took notes and kept a journal through the Season. My last journal entry of the coaching season was a recap of all I learned. I am sharing it over four blog posts with the prayer that you learn from God. If you are in a Season of Frenzy, I pray that God is free to use the Season to help you grow beyond your wildest imagination.  The first thing I learned was...

WHAT KEPT ME SANE

Recognizing the pending busy Season of Frenzy God led me to the following measures which proved to keep me sane until the Season was essentially over:

1) LIFE COACH. I contracted with a life coach and was faithful to meet with him regularly. He helped me by giving me a safe space to process all that was going on. He helped me "take my pulse" (which we will cover in part 4). He lent his perspective from an objective point of view. He let me vent. He encouraged me when I got discouraged. He challenged me when I started selling myself short. (click here for more about life coaching)

2) KEY RELATIONSHIP. I sat down with my wife, Jennie, to discuss the coming Season. We were very careful to plan for times to pull aside and process together. We jogged together. We walked and talked together. I was incredibly fortunate to have in her someone who truly believed in me, regardless of the struggle. This was a key relationship I desperately needed to help navigate the Season.

3) DAILY SANITY. I posted about my "Daily Sanity" in an earlier post (read it here). This was a simple, spiral-bound notebook I kept to list the key activities I needed to accomplish each day. Then, as I faced distractions throughout the day, I was able to stop and revisit the "Daily Sanity" to get back on course.

4) ALONE TIME. With the help of scripture and meditative music, I was able to pull off by myself and contemplate. No work. No strategizing. No deep thinking. Just simply being in the presence of God, listening.

These were what kept me sane. Part 2 is entitled, "HOW I GREW PERSONALLY". Stay tuned...

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What has kept you sane in your Seasons of Frenzy?

Your Flight Has Been Delayed...

As I type this post, I sit at gate 5 in an airport in Knoxville Tennessee. My flight was originally scheduled to depart in 3 minutes. I have a connecting flight in Atlanta. Our plane is not here. It won't be for a while. I will miss my connecting flight. (think traveling is glamorous?)

Here are my options:

OPTION 1: Rant. Rave. Demand my original schedule. Complain about how hard this is making my life. Yell at the nice lady behind the counter. Run my fingers feverishly through my hair (which I don't even have). Huff and puff. Pace. Stomp my feet. Glare at everyone. Roll my eyes.

OPTION 2: Breathe slowly and evenly. Abandon my original schedule. Smile at the nice lady behind the counter. Speak slowly. Plan for the next trajectory in my path. Make a couple calls to inform the others who are impacted by my lateness.

I survey the Gate-5 area. There are about 32 individuals. Some male. Some female. Some tall. Some short. Some opting for OPTION 1. Some finding their comfort in OPTION 2.

I gotta tell you, those who opt for OPTION 1 are quite interesting. My mind wanders to their home life. Their future. Are they hard to live with? Do they turn people off? Will they die early with a heart condition, high blood pressure? TO the contrary, those opting for OPTION 2 seem happier about life in general. They look as though their mind immediately shifted to "plan B".

I've sat back down now. I've talked to the nice lacy behind the counter. Got a new flight plan to get me back to Pittsburgh. Still have an inch of Starbuck's Verona left to sip. Listening to John Mayer in my ear buds ("Waiting For The World To Change" - irony?). I've chosen OPTION 2 (I wish I could say that for every change I face). Here are a few of my thoughts as I sit here:

>>> Unexpected change is like a neon yellow highlighter swiping across a person's soul. Change brings out what's inside. If there is no peace, ugly emerges. If there is peace, beauty emerges.

>>> Unexpected change is like a gift-wrapped package. Some people take it and throw it away without opening it. Others open it and find the gift of opportunity.

My unexpected change happened in an airport in Knoxville on a Friday morning in late June. When your next unexpected change happens, what's your response going to be?

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Compaction Or Compassion?

"Sure, I can help you with that." I hung up the phone. Then thought, "How am I going to help them? I've already got too much on my plate."

Ever do that before? I bet you have. It's hard to say "no". We don't want to disappoint. We don't want to miss anything. Truth is, we don't see the cost associated with a "yes". Time is finite. A day will always be 24 hours. The energy we can expend in a given block of waking hours is fixed. So, when we say "yes" to one commitment, we are saying "no" to another. All that is background for the point of this post:

Compaction Lessens Compassion. Busy-ness is the bane of compassion. I push compassion to the side when I have too much to do. In fact, people are actually a nuisance when I'm too busy. The very folks I must have compassion on are getting in my way. Can you believe that? But that's not their fault. It's mine. Jesus was full of compassion. As I follow Jesus what kind of example do I display when I'm too busy for compassion?

Frank Viola and Leonard Sweet recently published a book called, Jesus Manifesto. The following is an excerpt:

[God is saying to us]: "When people saw [Jesus] in action, they were seeing Me in action. Now He dwells in you, and when people see you, they are seeing Him. And the more space you make for Him in your life, the more clearly the world will see Him. So give Him room. Let Him gain all of you so He can be seen again, to My glory and pleasure."

So the next time I am faced with a decision to take on something new, I'm going to STOP! Ask myself, "God, is this opportunity from You, or will it compact me so tightly that I have no margin for compassion?"  

How about you? How tightly are you living these days?

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This post is part of a Blog Carnival on the one word - Compassion. It is being hosted by Bridget Chumbley.

On Slaying The Workload Goliath

Feeling like David against a Goliath of workload? Intimidated at the odds stacked against you?  Here are a few posts from the past that speak into your situation right now. Check them out and see if you can find the "5 stones" you need to slay your workload giant:

Busy, Busy, Busy

Blow Through Your Inbox

Overload! Overload!

Life Preservers for A Sea of Overload

 

Have you read a post online that helped you get a handle on your workload Goliath? Enter the information below in the Simply Linked widget.

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Bumbles, Boobs, and Baubles

Our capacity to serve strong is diminished in 3 ways (rate yourself as you read):

Bumbles. We all mess up now and again. We make mistakes. Everyone does. I make mistekas all the time =).  If you're like me, when you make a mistake you receive forgiveness from others but don't forgive yourself. It's one thing to fall down and get back up. It's another thing to fall down and stay down, trying to serve while dragging yourself along the floor.  Next time I make a mistake I'm gonna admit it, ask for forgiveness, forgive myself and move on. How about you?

Boobs. We all know difficult people. Not the person who has an honest disagreement with an opinion we hold (these people make us stronger if we take the time to listen to them). I'm talking about the irrational person. You know, the person who disagrees with you just for the sake of disagreement. The person who exercises transference of all their problems onto you, making you the lightning rod of their pain. We cannot let these people get to us. Lovingly extend grace. Lovingly extend mercy. Hold out hope of their personal growth in Christ. But don't let them tell you who you are in Christ. (And don't embody their problems as your own. I posted an article on this called, "Bridge People.")

Baubles. They are known as trinkets, toys, and "treasures". They are the stuff we buy for ourselves, thinking they will be the answer to our need for fulfillment. But we underestimate the cost when we buy something. Say you just bought the new iPad. Cool. Now, what will that cost you in terms of maintenance? What will it do to distract you from your focus? How much time will it take to drive it to the nearest Apple store for repair? I'm not against technology, that's not my point. But the next time you are faced with a buying decision, think about the real cost of the purchase. It extends beyond the price tag.

How are YOU doing on the Bumble-Boob-Bauble scale?

Good |_____________________________| Bad

 

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The Power of 10

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The Path of Forgiveness

You Are Here

LUV My Job

Last Sunday I was enjoying the sunshine out on the deck (a rare occasion for an Ohioan). Perusing the Twitter flow, I came across the following Tweet from a pastor I follow,

"Newcomer's Lunch w/ nearly 100 there! I prayed w/ TWO diff. men afterward to accept Christ! Luv my job..."

"Luv my job." When was the last time you could honestly say that and mean it? If it's been recent, good for you. If it's been a chronic condition, DOUBLE-good for you!

What makes a person LUV their job? Here are a couple thoughts:

I LUV my job when I am spending myself for the benefit of another. There is no doubt about it. When we help someone else out, there is a residual benefit. Inside every person who cares for others is a heart of selflessness. Perhaps that's why a wise person once said, "It is more blessed to give than receive."

I LUV my job when I am using the gifts God has given me. There is a habit among people who sustain strength in ministry leadership. It's called "Align". Proper Align means to spend 80% of your waking hours engaged what honors your passions, personality, and proficiency. When we are trying to be someone we are not, it takes more energy, leaving us fatigued at the end of the day.

I LUV my job when I am alert enough to seize moments of opportunity. We don't merely rest from our work. We work from our rest. When we see rest as an investment in future ministry, we get serious about it. We block time for it. We make it a priority. And when we are rested, we are more alert. God will provide the opportunities for ministry. When rested, we are able to see them when they come along.

What about you?

 What makes you LUV what you do? 

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Coffee Beans And Oak Trees

Coffee Beans

We drink coffee at our house.  Each morning, my wife wakes first and a bit later I awake to the sound of grinding coffee beans.  The smell is wonderful.  The taste, even better.  A great way to start the day!

Interesting thing about coffee beans.  Once we grind them, they can never become a whole bean again.  The taste is delicious.  The smell is heavenly.  But once the cup of coffee is consumed, that's it.  Coffee's gone and we're out the door to work.

Oak Trees

We had oak trees around our house when I was young.  They were huge.  On windy autumn days, we would love to run and dodge the leaves flying from the top of those massive trees.  We would collect acorns and draw faces on them, pretending they were little french men wearing the berets.

Interesting thing about oak trees.  In the spring, they sprout leaves.  In summer they provide shade on a hot sunny day.  In autumn, the leaves turn brown and fall to the ground.  The tree lays empty and fallow through the winter.  The tree almost looks dead.  But again in the spring, the entire process starts again.

You Serve Like A ____________

Is your service like the coffee bean? Are you serving with a sweetness and effectiveness only to burn out and feel used up without renewing to come back and serve again and again?

Or is your service more like the oak tree?  Are you serving well during the summer months and taking the needed rest during your own season of winter?

Coffee is great.  But once the pot is empty, we can never again enjoy that same pot.  Oak trees are there to provide shade summer after summer.  Don't you want to be the kind of servant who can renew and continue serving season after season?  If so, remember to take time to make the most of your "winter" seasons and get your needed rest.  Then come back stronger than ever.

Q&A: How do you rest?

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How To Burnout In 5 Easy Steps

Staying strong is overrated. All this talk about avoiding the wall? Hooey. You were born to burnout. You were meant for serving weak. Want a quick way to burnout in ministry leadership? Here are 5 easy steps:

1. Seek Unforgiveness. Someone hurt you lately? Cool. Here's what you do: Hold a grudge. That's right. Don't give in to the temptation to be the weaker one. Keep steady. Better yet, give them the silent treatment. Yeah! It will teach them a lesson and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
2. Pursue Passionlessness. Ask yourself this question: "What ministry fuels my passion?" Got your answer? Good. Now do something (anything) that is the opposite of your answer. Do the thing that is a total drag for you. Give it your all. Seek the boredom. Revel in the difficulty. It will annoy those around you and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
3. Engage In Prayerlessness. Got prayer concerns? Want to touch the heart of God? Want to seek and sense His will for your life? Forget it. You're looking to burnout, right? Good. Then cut ALL prayer from your routine. Don't pray in the morning. Don't pray when you're stressed or sad. And don't pray when things are going well. Think of the time you'll save.  It will grieve the Holy Spirit and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
4. Be An Impostor. Are you introverted by nature? Be extroverted. Are you methodical? Be spontaneous. Are you a people person? Then be a recluse. You have to understand that being yourself is simply going to keep you from burning out. So don't be yourself. Better yet, try to be just like someone else. It will irritate your loved ones and you'll be well on your way to burning out.
5. Over-identify. In your work with others, you will feel their pain. This is good. Dwell on it. Identify it so deeply that you begin to feel responsible for it. This will give you ownership of their pain, as though you were the cause. You will sink in the quicksand of their misery. You won't be able to help them because you'll be so depressed yourself. This will help others become co-dependent and you'll be well on your way to burning out.

So you see, if you are interested in burning out, it's quite simple really. Just follow these 5 easy steps and we'll see you in rehab!

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Question: Can you think of more than 5 steps to add to the list?

Overwhelmed Today?

Ever feel overwhelmed?

I have.

It’s not fun.

Really, it's not.

Overwhelmed: “Rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount or profusion of something.”

Some ideas (if you find yourself weighed down by the excessive)….

STOP. If your tendency is to plow even harder through the slog, stop. Get your bearings. Remember God is never in a hurry. He’s totally in control. Pray to Him for perspective; for guidance; for wisdom.

PRIORITIZE. What has absolutely got to get done in the next block of time? Face it, you are only one person. You can only do so much in a given amount of time. Start the most pressing. Go from there. In my experience, there is something therapeutic about starting out with one task, then another, and another. I call it a “snowball of accomplishment.” It always seems to feed my soul with hope.

EVALUATE. After you’ve worked your way out of crisis mode, take time to ask yourself how you got to the place of overwhelm in the first place. Was it something you need to change in your behavior? Do you need to say “no” to some unnecessary commitments? Do you need to read up on how to stop procrastinating?

What about you? What do YOU do when you find yourself overwhelmed?

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10 Steps To Read A Magazine

Magazines. They are the result of a lot of effort by a lot of people to bring you pertinent content. I personally know a few people who work in the magazine business and I appreciate all that they do. But how do you get the most out of a magazine? Here are 10 steps that I trust will help answer that question:

1. Subscribe to the right mags in the first place. Cancel all subscriptions that don't support your life mission (you do have a life mission don't you?)
2. Go straight to the table of contents. Don't let your eye wander.
3. Read the synopsis by each article. A good mag will provide a short recap of what each article is about.
4. Circle the articles that sound like they will help you move toward your desired life results (you do have desires results don't you?). Don't circle more than 3 or 4. Even if you find more than 4 that look interesting, you will only have so much time to devote.
5. Rip each article out of the mag. This assumes the mag is yours. The impact of ripping them out is to symbolically create a hard separation between the unnecessary content from the content that is likely to be useful to you.
6. Throw away the rest of the mag. Again, this symbolizes you are walking away from unnecessary content. It also removes all temptation to look back.
7. Read just the first sentence of each paragraph. Read more only when a sentence grabs your attention.
8. Jot down all bullet point thoughts of ideas, principles that are new to you. Jot them in your growth journal (you do have a growth journal right?)
9. Throw away the articles. Now that you have captured the essence of each article, you don't need the entire text. Don't worry. There will always be a constant stream of data flowing in this world.
10. Reflect on the bullet point list you generated. Do this over the weeks and months until the next issue rolls around, when you can start the process all over again.

Making the most of reading time is vital to serving strong. New data helps augment your efforts. But it doesn't help if the augmenting process takes you too long or you focus on the unnecessary content.

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Ten Questions Of Strength

[the following is an update of a Feb 28, 2010 post]

So you lead others, huh? How's that working out for you? Are you sure about how your leadership is going? When we are weak, our leadership is weak. When we are strong our leadership is strong.

Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself to do a quick check (the more "yes" answers, the better):

1. Am I free from any unresolved conflict with others?
2. Do I take care of my physical well-being (remembering doctor's recommendations)?
3. Am I eating a well balanced, healthy diet including fruits and vegetables?
4. Do I spend a good amount of time each week sitting quietly, listening to the heartbeat of God for my life?
5. Do I stop at least once per week and review my priorities and goals; celebrate wins; and strategize next steps?
6. Am I working at quality connections with my spouse and children?
7. Am I actively pursuing meaningful relationships with friends and family members?
8. Do I have a plan to get, any remain, out of debt?
9. Do I know what my passion, personality, and proficiencies are (any am I engaged most of my waking hours honoring these?
10. Would God be pleased with the internet history file on my computer?

My prayer is for strong leadership on your behalf. Don't neglect who you are as you serve others.

What other questions have you used to ensure your inner strength?

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2 Faces Of Change

I was supposed to be at a meeting in Atlanta today. It was to be a short trip. I was to fly out early, attend the meeting right at the airport and fly home in the early evening.  But my flight was delayed. After a lot of checking, I discovered there wasn't a flight to get me there in time. "Best laid plans...", right?

Change Happens

Think about it. Change has 2 faces:

1)    CHANGE THAT HAPPENS TO US.  The change in my flights was a good example.  These things just happen. There is nothing we can do about them. Weather happens. People fail us. Unanticipated problems arise. In these circumstances what matters most is our reaction. We can either let it get the best of us, sapping the energy we need to serve in your ministry… or we can “roll with the punches” as they say. In fact, there is often a blessing in the shadow of change. Getting all worked up keeps us blind to opportunity.  How do you REACT to change?

2)    CHANGE WE MAKE HAPPEN. We all see the value of personal growth. This requires directed change. This type of change doesn’t happen automatically. It happens when we are intentional. In these circumstances what matters most is our action. We set objectives and go for them. We are clear on what we want to see happen and we make the necessary adjustments in our routine, our diet, our commitments, or whatever it takes to achieve what we know we need to do. Here's an interesting article on being intentional by Riverfork. Some of what's in the article may be useful for you.  How do you ACT to make change?

 

So my day will be spent on the phone in a conference call rather than face to face. It’s not the best, but it’s better than nothing. Oh well… enjoy your changes today!

Social Sabbatical Challenge

In Jeremiah chapter 24 verse 7 we read the following:

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart."

"Return to me with all their heart." This phrase implies a separation prior; a lacking of something vital to relationship. "Return" - the dictionary defines this as to go or come back, as to a former place, position, or state.

Spending time online isn't always a bad thing. But it can distract us from the vital relationship on which we are so dependent if we want to finish strong in mission work.

Therefore I am issuing a challenge to all my Facebook and Twitter friends. I challenge you to take a 24 hour sabbatical from all social network media every 7 days (symbolized by the passage in Jeremiah 24.7). Pick one 24 hour block of time every 7-day period to be completely separate from all social media interaction. In its place, spend time returning to God in prayer, listening, meditation -- in other words, return to God.

Try it for a 30-day trial period. That's what I'm gonna do - beginning Monday February 15 through March 15.

Think you're up to it? Think it's a silly idea? Let me know by your comments if you're in with me or if you're gonna think about it...

Blow Through Your Inbox

Okay. I just did something very worthwhile. It started yesterday when I set an appointment with myself to sit in front of my inbox for 90 minutes to do nothing but go through email messages. Within the first 30 minutes, I cut the total messages down by over 65 percent!

Many of the messages required less than 2 minutes to complete (a quick reply, a forward to someone else who was more qualified to answer the question posed to me, etc.)  Some messages took a little longer. But the power in staying productive was knowing I didn't have anything else to interrupt me. I was laser-focused on doing one thing: Blow through my inbox.

I have successfully proven that nipping away little by little at the constant influx of new messages throughout the day doesn'twork. Now, when my inbox reaches a certain number of messages I will set another appointment.

I've also found some very helpful tips from Michael Hyatt on the subject of email management. Here are a few of his articles:

Yes, You Can Stay On Top Of Email

Overcoming Email Overload

Is It Time To Declare Email Bankruptcy?

 

So, How are YOU handling your inbox these days?

Lose Your Balance, Do Some Damage

January 25, 2010 from the Associated Press:

"A Picasso painting damaged when a woman lost her balance and fell on the canvas last week will be repaired in time for an exhibition of the artist’s works in April, the Metropolitan Museum of Art said Monday..."

The article points out that the museum director has requested a review of the policies and procedures after the painting suffered a 6-inch tear to its lower right-hand corner.  It is reported that,

"The accident occurred in a second-floor gallery of early Picasso works when a patron participating in one of the museum’s art classes lost her balance and fell on the canvas, the museum said. She was one of 14 people in the guided group."

LOSING YOUR BALANCE

You and I are vulnerable to losing our balance. It's not a physical balance, per se. But it can damage our life nonetheless. For example,

You get up early, stay late at the office, go to evening meetings for 7 days straight. Then you get pneumonia.... or...

You respond to every church member's need for visitation over a 2 year period and come home to a note on the counter from your spouse saying they have left you.

Balance is key. It is defined differently for different people. But we simply cannot serve in the people-helping business without it.

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Question For You:

What have you seen others go through as a result of having no balance?

Sync In Progress

You listen as others struggle with the death of a loved one. You counsel the depressed. You preach to people who have not yet seen God's light for themselves. You are a first responder to a tragic accident. You are a friend to a lonely widow. You hold the hand of one who has just learned they have breast cancer...

When you are out there giving of yourself to help others you are burning energy. This energy doesn't replenish automatically on its own. Energy regeneration requires intentional effort on your part. It's a bit like plugging a hand held device into the source of energy to sync files and recharge batteries.

What is your normal time to sync and recharge? When do you pull away from the ministry as an investment in future work? Jesus did this. Follow his lead. And remember, we don't rest from our work. We work from our rest.

People who have a systematic "sync in progress" to their rhythm Serve Strong!

The ball's in YOUR court: How do you sync and recharge? Share your thoughts...

Empty The Recycle Bin

My daughter called the other day. Said her laptop indicated the hard disk was getting critically full. So she emptied her recycle bin and it freed up over 2 gigs of memory.

How's your capacity to serve others? Are you trying to serve with a full recycle bin? You know, someone comes to you for help and you just can't seem to muster the strength to deal with their situation? Do you feel like you are up to your eyeballs in people's issues - not to mention the fact that you have your own marriage to maintain, kids to parent, a checkbook to update, a lawn to mow....?

We all get overwhelmed. But I believe we add more on ourselves than is necessary. At least I know I do.

What's in your bin?

What kind of stuff do we carry around that could be deleted? Perhaps someone cut us off on the road yesterday and we are still mad at the nameless, faceless person. Or maybe you were overlooked for a promotion 2 years ago - still in the recycle bin? Perhaps you are still wrestling with a sin you committed in your teens. You know you've been gloriously forgiven by God Himself, but you are still beating yourself up over it.

YOUR INPUT & COMMENTS ARE WELCOME: Answer this -- "What else do we tend to stuff into our recycle bin?"

Simple phrase / difficult task (sometimes): LET IT GO. Your impact on others depends on it. Examine your recycle bin. How full is it? Let it go. Empty your recycle bin and you'll be Serving Strong!

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What Is The Source Of Burnout?

I recently posted the following question on my Facebook status:

"Could it be the reason there is an abundance of burnout in ministry is because there is a scarcity of trust in God?"

Here are the responses I've received so far:

__ Even trusting God for others. (NE)

__ More likely a loss of focus on Jesus by all... (AR)

__ My experience with many who have suffered what you may call "burnout" was not a lack of trust in God, but was found to be a lack of watchfulness of those around them, who were to protect and guard their lives. (DP)

__ Burnout comes from having to do it all when those who should be doing it won't and it has to be done. (DA)

__ Maybe we take ourselves too serious. The world was spinning before we were born and it will be spinning when we die. How much do we really give ourselves credit for? I don't think it is how much we get done, but what jewels we find in the process. Remember, the JOY of the Lord is our Strength. If you aren't experiencing JOY, you might not have any strength. (MT)

__ 100% (JC)

__ I think we try to hard to GOD's job. We can't change people. We can only love them. Only God can change them and when we try to do the Holy Spirit's job, which is NOT our job, we get tired and worn out. (CS)

__ Agree with all of the above. We have let God be God. We need to do exactly as He tells us and then...sit back and watch Him do His "thing'. He is so amazing. (SE)

I am interested in what YOU think too. Add your insight. The more we understand where burnout is coming from, the sooner we will be able to eliminate it and Serve Strong!

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Present Future, Absent Present (re-post)

The following is a re-post from December of last year. As we embark on the holiday season, I felt it might be of service to you:

____________________

Here are 2 pictures from our family lunch last Sunday.  My son was not occupied with sports or friends.  My daughter was home from college for the Thanksgiving break.  My wife and I were also home.  It seems that the older the kids get, the rarer these family meal times get.

The first picture is the table set before we ate.  Meatloaf with bread on it, mashed potatoes, green beans... yum!  The second picture is after we had eaten and started to clear the table.

 

Why am I showing you this?  Because I want to remind each of us (me included) that if we are preoccupied with things coming up in our future, we'll be that much less present in the present.  We may miss what's going on in the right now of life.  We may miss a divine appoint we weren't ready for.  We may miss cherished times with friends and family.

Distractions and future events have a way of robbing us of our present moments.  But they only do so if we grant permission.  We do have a choice.

Especially as we embark on the holiday season I encourage you to choose your present moments.  Reserve future thinking to a prescribed block of time every once in a while (perhaps to your "weekly review" where you review past progress and plan out immediate and long range goals.)

Be present in the present and you'll be Serving Strong!

Attractive But Poisonous

Found an interesting story about plants on www.webecoist.com entitled "Gorgeous But Deadly". It describes 13 plants that are incredibly beautiful to look at but unbelievably deadly if touched. Here's an excerpt of the story:

"Doll’s Eyes, Fairy Bells, Miracle Leaf – how can plants with names like these be dangerous? Eat them, and you’ll be sorry you fell for their deceptive names and unassuming appearances. From a tree that can make you go blind to flowers that even kill unsuspecting honeybees, these 13poisonous plants are anything but innocent...some species, such as Ligustrum ovalifolium,  contain toxic Glycosides which cause abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, weakness, cold and clammy skin."

Likewise, ministry leaders are tempted by any number of seemingly "good" opportunities that come their way. It may be a speaking engagement to an influential crowd; a community leadership position; a chance to write for a blog or take a bigger church position - the list is endless.

Just as the beautiful plants are deadly, these opportunities feed the ego but leave the curious leader burned out. Why? Because they aren't handled with prayer.  They are rushed into with a resounding "yes" and no one has ever counted the cost.

So the next time you are face to face with a great opportunity, ask yourself: How does this fit with what I'm called to do? Where is the time going to come from? What will I have to say "no" to in order to take on this new thing?

Count the cost and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Got Gas?

Pull your car into the gas station. Slide in your credit card. Pull it out. Select the grade of gas you desire. Grab the nozzle. Stick it in your gas tank. Pump the gas.

When it clicks, pull it out. Put the nozzle back in the pump machine. Take your receipt. Pull away.

When the tank is empty, fill it up. When it's full, be on your way. A simple metaphor from life.

Rhythm. We do it for our cars. Why do we think we can go so much farther in ministry on a single tank of emotional "gas"?

Take time to get filled up. Don't burnout. Serve Strong!

A Firecracker Or A Rifle

   Firecracker. Rifle.

What do they have in common? an explosion (in other words, energy).

What is different about them? how they harness that energy.

The FIRECRACKER simply let's the energy escape in all different directions at once. Whimsy. No rhyme or reason. Just bits and pieces going in random patterns with no organization. The RIFLE, by contrast, is designed to take that energy, seal it in a chamber and use it to propel an object to a target with incredible accuracy and intension.

What's this got to do with serving as a ministry leader?

Our society has unfortunately placed a label on creative individuals with a lot of energy, calling them ADD or ADHD sufferers. This is unfortunate because the impact is always negative for the individual. I have coached clients with this type of energy and have heard them talk down about themselves because they say they have "this condition".  This perspective limits the client. It keeps them from being all they could be.

I admit I am not an expert on the condition. But in my humble opinion, this is energy that can and must be harnessed. A notepad kept close to the vest at all times to record seemingly random thoughts; a 30-minute silent focus time in the morning and afternoon; a weekly block of time to simply "go crazy" with ideas verbally as someone is present to record the rambling... these are all mechanisms for harnessing the energy that the creative, movement-oriented personality can employ.

Do YOU have this kind of energy? Perhaps you could employ some mechanisms to keep you focused and harness this energy to start hitting targets (objectives) with incredible accuracy and intension. That's part of Serving Strong!

What are your thoughts on this subject?

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Pastor, Are You Approaching Burnout?

August 21, 2009 I posted on my blog about a pastor who had Google searched the phrase,

"im a pastor on his way to burnout help"

I asked for input from the Christian community to help answer this person's cry for help. I received several responses. Then someone requested that the responses be available as a download. So here it is. Click on the link below to get your free copy of this resource.

Download Ideas For the Pastor Approaching Burnout

 

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Balancing Life

Below is a link to a number of short read blog posts on the topic of balancing life.

As you seek to serve others, you must continually seek to remain strong yourself. How can you serve others effectively unless you have something to give?

I trust you will find that one thing among the posts to encourage you and challenge you to Serve Strong!

BALANCING LIFE

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Lessons Learned Offline

Over the past 3 weeks I took a cold-turkey break from Twitter, Facebook, and blogging. I dubbed it my eSabbatical. I refrained from updating statuses, posting thoughts, checking activity. It was a very interesting time for me. I learned a lot. Here are just a few things that come to mind (as you read this, consider waht bold step you can take for your own personal growth):

• HIGH FRAGMENT, LOW FOCUS. Right out of the gate I discovered one thing. Without activity notifications sent to my mobile phone via SMS I was no longer interrupted throughout the day. Without activity notifications sent to my inbox I was no longer spending time deleting unnecessary messages. This has resulted in a tremendous uptick in my ability to remained focused on the task at hand. I have been more productive than I dreamed possible as a result of the eSabbatical AND as I return to social media, I will return differently. I will be limiting the notifications to my phone and inbox so I remain in control.
• COMMUNITY INCLUDES SOCIAL MEDIA. Another thing I noticed was how much I missed the unique insight, incredibly funny thoughts, and eDialog that came from interacting with newly-found friends and colleagues online. I missed connecting with old friends from high school. Social media provides people the avenue to connect when before it was virtually impossible. I can "talk" with people all over the world about interesting topics and issues that impact the Kingdom because the internet provides the roadway. I can learn about new resources and ideas that I never would have thought of on my own. I am richer for connecting to my Facebook friends and Twitter followers and people who comment on my blog posts.
• COMMUNITY INCLUDES MORE THAN SOCIAL MEDIA. I mused during the 3 weeks what a total breakdown in the internet would do to me. What would I do if the internet was sabotaged to the point of total elimination? Who would I talk to? Where would I go for support? Where would I engage in healthy debate and collaboration? This musing season resulted in a new appreciation for the flesh and blood connections I have with my wife, kids, extended family, fellow missionaries at my church, fellow parents at soccer games, and neighbors. THEY are the ones to turn to in a major catastrophe. THEY are the ones to keep my eyes open to helping and pouring my life into.

So there. I unplugged for 3 weeks. I learned some cool stuff. How about you? What bold step can you take in life that will throw you into a season of reflection, growth, and development? I trust you will take the challenge and continue Serving Strong!

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Hot Chocolate And Multi-Tasking

Odd News for August 27, 2009:

HENDERSON, Ky. (AP) - It wasn't a very sweet ending for a guy drinking hot chocolate behind the wheel. Police report Brent Churchill's Toyota Solara convertible ended up in the Ohio River. He was trying to make a U-turn on a boat ramp in Henderson, Ky. Officers say Churchill spilled the hot chocolate into his lap and lost control of the car. The Evansville Courier and Press reports the convertible top was down. Churchill was unhurt and climbed out as the Toyota floated down river. The sunken car was later found and towed out of the water.

Every try to do too many things at once? I have. I'm not saying multi-tasking is all bad. There is a measure of progress, for example, in training for a 1/2 marathon with your son - which means I'm taking care of my physical fitness and at the same time spending quality time as a father.

But there are times when multi-tasking actually distracts and keeps us from focusing. Identify what those times are for you and try to avoid them.

Engage in healthy multi-tasking and you'll be Serving Strong!

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info source

Balance Versus Focus?

“Trying to be balanced is often the enemy of remaining focused.”

I saw this quote somewhere several days ago and it keeps following me everywhere I go. It’s been haunting me. I think I know why. So I’m getting my thoughts down before the moment passes. Here goes.

Planting Churches

I understand the call of church planting is hard work.  It takes a commitment of time, resources, energy and a whole lot of faith. There are details to cover, people to inspire and motivate, music to rehearse, multimedia to prepare and events to plan – each week. Church planting isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those with a great big vision and the drive to see it through.

Church Planters are driven. They have a deep-seated desire to bring the Good News to people who are being pursued by God but don’t yet know it. I read somewhere that a lot of successful Planters are either “high D” or “high I” on the DiSC personality profile. These are fast-paced people who get things done. To borrow a phrase from the past, they are “movers and shakers.”

Life Balance or Life Focus?

So how does a mover or a shaker see life balance? How do they view self care? Reading the quote above, one might conclude balance and self care are a nuisance; something for wimps or ego-centered. Perhaps balance and self care are viewed as barriers to successfully growing a new body of believers.

But what about the Planter’s marriage? What about their kids? Where does physical fitness fit in? How does the Planter stay focused on the strength that only comes from the God of John 15? What about the household budget or continuing education?

 Are we sending the wrong message in the church planting community that the only thing worth pursuing is the ministry? How does a Planter stay focused on the work of his/her call when creditors are calling every other day? How is focus at the church maintained when the marriage at home is falling apart or the kids are pursuing destructive paths? What gets done for the church when the Planter is laid up in bed with pneumonia?

Swing

I firmly believe a Planter is more than a Planter. I believe they are multi-faceted. I believe there must be attention given to each facet in appropriate measure over time. I believe a Planter will have a greater chance at success in the long run when balance is part of the equation. But let me clarify. I don’t mean to advocate pursuing balance for balance sake. The goal is not to be balanced. The goal is to fulfill the call of God on our lives. Balance is a healthy way to remain faithful to the call.

Are you a Church Planter?

What do you think? Is the pursuit of life balance the enemy of focus?

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on the subject.

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What Works, Distracts

[first] So you're traveling along doing your work in the ministry or some other people-helping field. You're doing what you do best. You're loving every minute. You're engaged in where your passion lies. You're doing what you're good at. Life is great.

[second] Then comes along another NEW opportunity. You look into it. You find it ALSO offers the chance to engage in where your passion lies. If you said "yes" to the opportunity, you'd be doing what you're good at. The problem? Life would be less than great.

Why?

Because your bandwidth is finite. This new opportunity you've been shown, while a chance to do what comes natural for you, could be a distraction in disguise. In fact, it could actually make you less than what you could be at BOTH the [first] AND [second]. That's because the [second] reduced the margin you had working in the [first].

Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's automatically meant for you. When the opportunity arrives, it's time to get on your knees and seek wisdom. Then get off your knees and take inventory of all you're currently doing.

When you say "yes" to one thing you say "no" to something else. You can't be all things to all people. You can't be in multiple places at one time. And sometimes it's what works that distracts.

Develop the habit of dropping to your knees when faced with your next opportunity - then respond accordingly. You'll be Serving Strong!

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Weak Tips

From observations, reading, coaching client interactions, I've compiled a list of surefire ways to maintain weakness in service to others:

1. Stay In Debt. Use credit cards like they are going out of style. Then justify your expenditures with a phrase like, "I've got to build up my credit score."
2. Serve Alone. This will take a little more work for the outgoing, people-oriented. But do your best to engage in ministry without any regard for leaning on the strength, perspective, and assistance of others. You are all you need.
3. Serve Exclusively. Even though you have a number of plates (marriage, parenting, fitness, spiritual growth) forget all that. Your work in helping OTHERS is paramount. If that means neglecting your spouse, kids, health, or walk with God - so be it. The work must be done. Give, give, and give some more. It's the only way.
4. Stop Learning. That's right. You know just enough to be dangerous. Get out there and do the work of a servant. Experience is all you need. Some people believe in 10 years of learning. Not you, 1 year of learning 10 times is good enough. Plus, when you invest in yourself, that's that much more time you could be out there doing the work.

There. That should help get you started. I'm sure there are other tips you can add to the list. Perhaps you may even take the time from your busy schedule to comment on the post (but not if it means helping someone else out - that would mean they would learn. And we don't want that!)

This un-message brought to you by Serving Strong (and, no, the picture is not of me - although I would probably look worse!)

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You Want Fries With That?

The American society supports and encourages instant gratification. We have drive thru's for dry cleaning, Starbuck's iced mochas, french fries, beverages... and today, I went to a drive thru to have the battery in my watch replaced! No kidding (check out the picture of the place on this post). I drove up, gave the lady my watch, and inside of 4 minutes my watch was ready and I was on my way.

But with all this instant gratification, we are in danger of being lulled to sleep, believing our life balance, self care, personal & professional development can be handled just as quickly.

Imagine it: Wouldn't it be cool if we could drive up to a window, order a large life balance with some self-care, a side of life coaching, and a sweet tea (light ice) - then drive off refreshed and renewed?

Sorry. No such thing. Taking care of our vessel takes persistence, patience, and time. If you are going to stay strong in your calling to help other people, you cannot ignore your vessel. So the next time you're tempted to hurry up your development and care, think again. Set yourself up for the long view and you won't be disappointed.

Assume the role of a life-long learner and you'll be Serving Strong!

Run Or Finish?

A little semantics, perhaps. Perhaps not: My son and I are preparing for a half marathon in the Fall. Typically, we say we are "training to run a half marathon." Well, MY SON may be training to RUN a half marathon. I'M training to FINISH it. Big difference.

How are you approaching your life as a people helping professional? Are you trying to RUN? Or are you trying to FINISH? Some of us try to RUN because we think that merely FINISHing isn't good enough. But we try to go too hard too fast and end up never RUNning nor FINISHing because we've "spent our wad", as they say.

RUNning, in the context of this post, is equal to going full out without a consideration for rest and recreation. The mindset is to push, push, push. "There's work to be done," we say in dogmatic style.

FINISHing is a different strategy. Finishing doesn't mean settling for second best. It's a mix of going full out AND swinging back to rest, recreation, regeneration.

I talk with pastors all the time. Never have I met one whose desire is to finish weak. They all want to finish strong. This takes a concentrated effort to weave the habit of "swing" into the fabric of the journey. Swing from execution to planning. Swing from work to rest. Swing from doing to being.

Go for the finish and you'll be Serving Strong!

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Too Much Of A Good Thing

Today is a special day for Americans. Freedom is celebrated all across the country. The staple of the celebration: Fireworks.

It's a beautiful thing to behold fireworks when they burst from the earth and explode in the sky with an array of colors and sound. They have evoked "Ohhh"s and "Awww"s from children and adults for years.

It's also a dangerous thing when fireworks go wrong. The picture in this post apparently is what happens when a homemade firework meets the human hand.

Fireworks: A paradox of beauty and danger.

Working with people: A paradox of a satisfying career and burnout.

You are a people helpers. You labor in the craft of others' burdens. You are problem solvers. You feel others' pain. How do you keep this tremendous callling from eroding into burnout? I suggest 4 habits:

1) Spin. Be sure your plates (Christ follower, spouse, parent, financial, relational, physical, etc.) are spinning with approriate speed and attention.

2) Swing. Be sure to go full out in your work AND go full in to rest and recreate. Remember, it's not so much that you rest from your work as it is you work from your rest.

3) Align. Be sure to spend most of your waking hours engaged in where your passion lies and where your skills are used.

4) Center. Start each day in a posture of brokenness before the God who calls you and stay in that posture the remainder of the day.

Spin, Swing, Align, and Center. These are the habits which help you keep your profession beautiful without burning out.  Serve Strong!

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Accountability 101

Pastors set their own hours. The profession offers a lot of time alone for planning and thought. Although this sounds like a dream job, temptations run rampant.

Are you serious about remaining morally strong? Have you considered setting up your own personal accountability system but don't know where to start? Perhaps you are doing fine right now but you lack a "fence" of consistency to stay the course and finish strong. If that describes your situation, you are invited to join a phone presentation to gain ideas on how to begin the process. You will hear from Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach, who will share concepts and practical ideas to help increase your chances for sustainable success over temptation. Time permitting, he will take a couple of your questions.

The call is free*. It's simple (you can call from the convenience of your own home or office). Your name will not be shared.

Date:      Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Time:      1:00 pm (EDT)
Duration: 30-60 minutes

If you are interested, email [email protected] and put "accountability" in the subject line to receive the dial-in number and conference code.

Space is limited so act today to reserve your seat.

* Your only cost is any long distance charge

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Y R U In2 Social Media?

Facebook, Twitter, Ning, MySpace..... so many choices, so little time.

Dave Ferguson posted this picture on his blog. Funny!

But seriously, Social media has the power to connect us in ways we never dreamed even a couple years ago. It also has the power to distract us from what's important and blur our focus. Take a few moments and decide what role social media plays in your overall people helping profession. Are you engaging in it to further your personal development; realize your objectives; accomplish God's dream for your life?

Use social media effectively and you'll be Serving Strong!

Saying No

The other day, Seth Godin posted a thought on saying "no". He urges that if you have talent and people ask you for this or that, you have a choice. You can either "dissipate your gift by making the people with the loudest requests temporarily happy" or you can "change the world by saying 'no' often." Godin goes on to say...

"You can say no with respect, you can say no promptly and you can say no with a lead to someone who might say yes. But just saying yes because you can't bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work."

Think about your service to other people. We all know pleasing everyone is impossible. We also know just because we say "yes" to a request, the day doesn't magically grow by one hour. If our time, resources and energy are limited, we have to be discerning in how we answer others' requests for them. This demands a close walk with God to hear His heartbeat.

How are you learning to say "no"? The fine art of "no" and "yes" has a direct impact to your ability to Serve Strong!

Got ADD? Achieving Daily Focus

If you're a people helper and you are a kinesthenic, feelings-oriented, active, big-picture person, this book may be just the thing for you. It's called, "View From The Cliff: A Course in Achieving Daily Focus" by Lynn Weiss, PhD.

The book is outlined into 5 main sections:

1. Organizing in New Ways
2. Following Through to Success
3.  Behaving Yourself
4. Using and Protecting Your Sensitivity
5. Succeeding at Work

One chapter in the section, Behaving Yourself, deals with what Weiss entitles, "quieting a noisy mind":

"No matter what the time of day, your mind seems to be a mass of booming, buzzing, sometimes confusing thoughts. Often they tire you out, not to mention distract you from whatever you're trying to focus on. When you are tired and want to rest, your mind may not quit even at night."

After a brief introduction of the time, Weiss goes on to explain WHY this happes, what NOT to do, what TO do, and what makes it hard to do. Each chapter is laid out this way.

This book is an invaluable resource for you if you are a kinesthenic, feeling, active, big-picture person. I recommend the book because of it's direct, down to earth approach with immediate understanding and action steps which can be implemented upon reading the material.

Click to read more about ordering this resource.

Stay focused and you'll be Serving Strong!