People Pleasing: A Rebuttal

Yesterday I outlined 5 Steps To Becoming A World Class People Pleaser. CLICK HERE to review the post.

As you may have noticed, the entire post was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. The truth is, pleasing people is dangerous. It hurts the person trying to please others because pleasing everyone all the time is simply impossible. And if you stand for anything, you WILL make some people unhappy with you. That's life. People who serve strong in ministry know how to give of themselves without burning out in the process.

Here, then, are a few helpful websites I've found online which address the issue of people pleasing. If you felt yourself get a bit anxious after reading yesterday's post, these may be of benefit to you:

The People Pleaser Pattern

People Pleasing Personality

How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

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QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION: When is people pleasing actually a form of compassion to which Christ calls us?

Comments

[Jim F.]

I think there are times when I need to people please as a Pastor - dealing with people who are in the hospital, dealing with the those who have lost a loved one, or people who I need to share the gospel with. When I say this I am talking about visiting more that I would normally - some people would have you visiting them daily in the hospital for instance but I might visit a few times a week instead.

Not too sure I am communicating my point well this morning - I have it in my head but getting it down is not flowing today - that is because I want to please you Scott in what I write :) .

Thanks for these two posts.

[jasonS]

I think we are conditioned to be pendulums so that when we see an area that needs work we swing over the other direction. People pleasing is no different, we see the problem and can then swing over to avoid it so voraciously that we end up hurting people in the process. Paul tells us in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." That means we swallow our pride sometimes (or a lot of times) which could look like people-pleasing. I feel like the real test is the motivation (which is what Jesus was always after in His teaching). If we see the patterns of just wanting everyone to like us, we need to take a step back. If it's all about us, there's a problem. If it's about Him and expressing His compassion, we can go for it.

Thanks for challenging me to think about these things, Scott. I appreciate it.

[Scott Couchenour]

I think I understand what you're saying. And that pleases me :)

I agree there are times when we give and give and give above the "normal" call of "duty". But look at the motivation behind the giving. If we give in response to God's direction, that's ministry. If we give to gain someone's acceptance, that's people pleasing.

We will eventually burn out trying to please people every time.
We will NEVER burn out doing what God asks us to do.
IMHO

[Scott Couchenour]

Jason - you are right. Look to the motivation behind the behavior. Some actions we take may LOOK like we're trying to please people. But God knows the heart.

Thanks for commenting.