Ministry Then Family? (update #1)

On January 24, 2010 I posed a question to you: "Which comes first, ministry or family?" (Click to read the original post)

Many of you commented - directly on this blog, in Twitter replies, Facebook comments and direct email messages to me (any thank you so much for providing such incredible insight!) There was an interesting result as comments began to accumulate. Two overarching themes began to surface:

Theme One: Linear Progression. Family first, then ministry. After all, we are setting an example for the span of care God gave us, right? "A healthy ministry is largely built upon the foundation of a healthy pastoral family", one person commented. "Ministry begins at home," wrote another.

A variation on this theme was to put GOD first, then family, then ministry. One comment said, "It depends, do what is pleasing to God in the moment." This places God above both family and ministry.

Theme Two: Mixture. God AND family as two elements cohabiting the same "space".  Kinda like gasoline and air mixing in a carburetor to propel a vehicle forward. "Prioritizing things 'first' and 'second'...pits kingdom versus family. The work of the kingdom (whether that's 'ministry' or 'family') belongs to Him," said one.

Same variation on this theme as Theme One above: God is at the head. Then, based on His desires and our obedience, we will fulfill ministry needs or family needs. We get our direction from Him. But sometimes the distinction between when it's appropriate to attend to family and when to attend to ministry gets blurred. Just ask Abraham what it was like to raise the knife above his son.

Regardless of the themes, one common element stands out: Family is vital to ministry. Family provides stability. It provides a sort of protection from the demands of ministry. It saves from the sin of adultery. Additionally, the family helps in leadership. The folks at the Francis Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development conducted a poll in 2005 of 2,245+ pastors and concluded, among other things, that many pastors, "...have not learned to balance family and ministry or adequately deal with the immense struggles of the job. This, many are not able to lead their church where it needs to go..." (Click here for the entire report)

I'm interested in your thoughts as we delve further into this "Ministry / Family" topic.

photo credit

QUESTION:

What habits do you employ to keep your family strong as you pursue kingdom ministry?

Comments

[Dave]

I think I would be remiss, not to point out that our children's concept of God as their heavenly father could become skewed if I, as their earthly father, placed them lower on a priority list than those to whom I minister. I think it speaks well of a pastor who demonstrates the value he/she assigns to his/her family.

Additionally, Imagine the fall-out within a ministry when a pastor's family life and relationships collapse. We've all seen it and the devastation that comes with it.

Being a part of a cooperative staff, we place a high value and priority on family. We work with other staff members to arrange our schedules to demonstrate this and it does encourage those we minister to, to follow suit. If healthy marriages and families are two important aspects of the church, shouldn't the minister's marriage and family typify that health?

dk

[Scott Couchenour]

David - I think it's great that you work with your staff to be sure they honor the value of family. This is something every church would do well to understand and apply.