Trust: Take It To The Bank

Interpersonal conflict. Much of it comes from a lack of trust between people.

A friend of mine shared with me a concept that was presented by Andy Stanley at a recent conference he attended. The concept involves having expectations and experiences. When what we experience differs from what we expect, there is a gap. When we experience this gap, we have a choice. Depending on our choice, we contribute to either more conflict or healthy interaction. We can choose to fill the gap with trust or suspicion. It's up to us.

To minimize unhealthy, unnecessary conflict we have 2 fundamental decisions to make (and corresponding commitments):

Decision #1:  We must decide to trust.

1) "When there is a gap between what I expect and what I experience, I will fill it with trust."

2) "When I observe someone filling a gap with suspicion, I will come to your defense."

3) "If what I experience begins to erode my trust, I will come directly to you about it."

Decision #2: We must decide to be trustworthy.

1) "I commit to do what I say I will do and when I don't, I'll tell you."

2) "I commit to not over promise and under deliver. But if it looks like that's where things are headed, I'll tell you."

3) "If you confront me about the gaps I have created, I'll tell you the truth."

Conflict can be unhealthy. When it is, it saps our energy - energy that can be devoted to fulfilling our call to serve others. In the interactions with those you serve, or with those who serve alongside you, what are you doing to minimize unhealthy conflict? Commit to trust and be trustworthy and you'll be Serving Strong!