7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Servants

Everybody wants to burnout, right?  You want to serve in such a way that it makes everyone around you uneasy, right?  Well, if that's your aim, here are some helpful tips to serving weak...

1. Be fuzzy.  Don't waste time trying to determine what your strengths and weaknesses are.  Just go out there and be all things to all people.  Meet as many needs as you can see, every moment of every day.  Who has time for focus?  Just get out there and do it!
2. Ignore key relationships.  They'll understand.  After all, you're in the people helping business.  Your family will understand if you're never home.  God will understand that you never talk with him.  There are just too many needs out there.  Time is short.  The number of needs is sky high.
3. Don't innovate.  So what if the world is changing at breakneck speed.  You've found what works for you.  No need to look at your context.  People will naturally be drawn to your service, regardless if you speak their language or not.
4. Be inconsistent.  Mixed messages shouldn't be a problem.  If you pick and choose who you have compassion on, at least you'll make some people happy.  If you pick and choose when you are truthful, others will understand.  It won't impact your witness.  People know instinctively what to believe and what to overlook.
5. Pursue the "big" personalities.  The more influential people you help, the more visibility you will have, right?  So ignore all those "little people" who could use your help.  Go for the big fish.  Let someone else help the less influential.  You're time is more important than that.  Your brilliance must have a place to shine.
6. Be whimsical about your health.  Who says there's a link between your health and your service to others.  They are two totally different things.  So go ahead and eat whatever you want.  Drink what tastes good.  Ignore your sleep.  And by all means, exercise only when it's convenient.  It won't catch up to you.  Surprisingly, you'll have enough energy from the sugar in your diet to last you a lifetime.
7. Care less.  Don't get sucked into others' lame stories of pity.  Don't let them go on and on about how needy they are.  Just meet their need and move on.  The more efficient you are with people, the more people you can serve.