Serving Strong

Grab Your Own Mask First

"Self care leads to care of others."

A quote on a blog post I just read today by Pastor Kent R. Schaaf.  It's so true.  How can we give of ourselves if there is nothing of ourselves to give?  How can we be "in the moment" truly helping someone else when we're preoccupied by sickness or debt or our own depression?

Like they say on the airplanes, if the oxygen masks deploy, put your own mask on before assisting others.  This at first appears selfish.  But it's not.

If you're a people helper, dealing with the needs of others all the time, you MUST take care of yourself in order to Serve Strong!

Where's Your Stress Going?

The Miami Herald has an article that talks about how stress is such a part of today's workplace shifts, etc.  Here's a quote:

"With the daily drumbeat of slashed jobs, home foreclosures, high debt levels and skyrocketing gas and food prices, the anxiety level of the American worker is rising exponentially. Three-quarters of Americans say they are stressed about money, a jump from 60 percent two years ago, according to an April poll of 1,848 adults by the American Psychological Association."

It also discusses the impact stress has on a person physically.  It offers some good suggestions for channeling the stress. Some ideas for channeling include:

• Daily exercise
• Talking it out with a close friend or mentor
• Meditation, etc.

Read the entire article.

Stress is a very real part of our lives today.  It doesn't care who you are.  It seeks to undermine your ability to serve others well.  Learn to process stress and you'll be Serving Strong!

Think Again About Sabbaticals

Carla Hinton, Religion Editor for newsok.com, wrote an article highlighting how sabbaticals help recharge and combat burnout among ministers.  The entire article can be found on newsok.com.

"Preachers are the worst about taking care of themselves. I think it's hard for us to get away because we have so many responsibilities."  Rev. Diana Northcutt (Director of local church youth ministries with the Oklahoma United Methodist Conference)

The simple principle in sabbaticals is the removal of the minister from the normal context of the profession.  While away, the mind has a better chance to regroup, recharge, and re-vision.  Perhaps is because the pressures associated with the profession are not present, allowing for greater mind space to think more clearly.

If you're in the people-helping profession, whether a minister or not, perhaps you too can weave the concepts of sabbatical into your service to Serve Strong!

For Men Only: Depressed?

If you're a man reading this, you'll want to pay particular attention if you are feeling anywhere near depressed.  I read an article recently which pointed out that depression affects about 6 million American men each year.  This number could be much higher because men seem to be more reluctant than women to seek help.  I know it took a while before I finally made the call for help several years ago - and I'm glad I did.

The article addresses the following:

• What depression is
• Symptoms of male depression
• When male depression is not treated
• Suicide risk
• Seeking professional treatment

The article is written by Carol Weiss, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 30 years of experience treating men and women suffering from depression.

READ THE ARTICLE.

Depression is one of the major barriers to Serving Strong!

Your Next Vacation... stay connected or unplug?

It's interesting, isn't it, how opposing the views are about staying connected or completely unplugging during vacation.  Here are 2 links to opposing views on the subject.  Notice the reasoning behind why one author points out the benefits of staying connected while the other points out the benefits of leaving the connection home.

Vacation and stay connected

Vacation unplugged

Decide for yourself what role your vacation has in your overall mission to serve others.  If we work from our rest, how can we best renew and restore?

Make the most of your vacation away from the service and you'll be Serving Strong!

Diabetes And People Helping

One of my coaching clients is very courageous, serving in a ministry while managing diabetes.  Most of us carry the normal load of a people-helping mission without the added burden of the extra load of constant monitoring of sugar, insulin, diet, exercise, etc.

Are you in a serving role and have diabetes?  If so, here are a few links to some potentially helpful information for you.  There's a lot out there on the topic.   I encourage you to check out these links simply to augment your knowledge.  Be sure to continue cooperating with your own physician.  Don't just read these links blindly.  Even if they contain information you disagree with, at least you're taking the initiative to keep diabetes under control through increased knowledge.

• Habit No. 1 Be Proactive in managing your diabetes

• Habit No. 2 Begin With The End In Mind to manage your diabetes

• Habit No. 3 Put First Things First to manage your diabetes

• Habit No. 4 Think Win Win to manage your diabetes

Continue to take care of your body and you will be Serving Strong!

Staying Mentally Vibrant In Ministry

I don't have a lot of time, but I want to post a link to Monday Morning Insights.

Great article listing 7 ways to stay mentally alert.

Check it out and Serve Strong!

Married To The Ministry

I married a PK (Preacher's Kid).  So I only have a little glimpse of what it's like to be in a pastor's household (and I love my in-laws!)

But being married to the ministry has got to be one of the most unique situations on earth.  Where do you turn for help?  How do you process all the situations that you face?  Who do you talk to?

Well, I found a blog that just may help answer those questions if you can relate.

Visit THE PREACHER'S WIFE.  Check it out.

Mad Church Disease... coming soon

Anne Jackson is coming out with a book soon that deals with the burnout epidemic in our churches.

Check out www.madchurchdisease.com to read more.

Check out Anne's blog for more information and commentary.

The more we are aware of the barriers to serving strong, the more likely we will be able to Serve Strong!

568 Protestant Pastors Talk About Their Sleep & Weight

Ellison Research conducted a study of 568 senior pastors of Protestant churches.  They revealed how it's going with regard to their sleeping and eating habits.

The average hours of sleep is under 7.  On average, they are more than 30 pounds overweight.  Often they suffer from stress, skipped meals, unhealthy foods, and sleeping problems.

Read the entire study.

How is your sleep these days?  What about your diet?  Rather than simply highlight the results, I want to offer some suggestions if you also suffer from sleep or weight problems.

For getting better sleep:

WebMD - 10 Tip To Get Better Sleep

Helpguide.org - Tips For Getting Better Sleep

The Better Sleep Council - Sleep Tips

For eating healthy:

Helpguide.org - Healthy Eating

WedMD - Healthy Eating Overview

Eating Well

Taking care of yourself is vital to Serving Strong!

NOTE:  If you are interested in a life coach to assist you in weaving balance and self-care into the fabric of your ministry, contact me.  We can discuss your situation and see how Serving Strong can benefit you today!

Do You Have A Close Friendship Today?

According to Focus on the Family and H.B. London and Neil B. Wiseman, in their book, Pastors At Greater Risk, state respectively that

• 70% of pastors do not have close personal friends and no one in whom to confide
• 56% of pastors' wives say they have no close friends.

Friends.  What are they really good for?

Todd Rhoades (Monday Morning Insights) posted a video and asks the questions, "Are you here to make friends? Obviously, it's in your best interest to not tick people off intentionally; but is there ever a point where friendships can hinder your ministry?"

Here's the video:

There are times when the ministry gets to be too much for any one person to handle.  It's in those times we need the kind of friendship within which we can process these times without fear of condemnation or judgment.  Take the time to ask yourself: "Do I have a close friend with whom I can process the ups and downs of my ministry?"

Having this kind of friendship is vital to Serving Strong!

Insuring Your Health... Ensuring Your Health

I read an article today about health insurance for pastors.  It was written by Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra for Christianity Today.  It said that many pastors lack access to adequate health benefits.

One part of the article stood out to me:

"The term 'adverse selection' refers to potential program beneficiaries — often young, healthy pastors — who choose to find less expensive health insurance on their own. When they opt out of a denomination's plan, the denomination is left with a pool of pastors who are older or ill. This causes rates to rise, which in turn prompts more pastors to seek cheaper rates elsewhere."

Health insurance is a must.  We simply cannot live without it.  But how can pastors combat the issues raised in this article?  By doing all that they can to ensure they remain healthy.  Here are a few helpful websites to look further into healthy living:

• CDC - Healthy Living
• Mayo Clinic - Healthy Living
• Healthy Living Market

Living healthy is not automatic.  It takes effort and intention and perseverence.  But it's worth it to continue Serving Strong!

Pregnant People-Helper?

If you are a people helper and carrying a child, you have special needs which must be addressed.  I found an article that seems to address some of the unique aspects associated with this season of life.

The article covers...

• Combating Fatigue
• When Nausea Strikes
• Taking Time Off
• Getting Back Can Be Tough

Read the entire article.  Even though it's written from the perspective of the work environment, there may be some helpful insights for you if you are a pregnant people-helper.  Take care of yourself and you'll be Serving Strong!

What About The Rest?

In my continuing research and thinking on the topics of life balance and self-care, something has come to my attention regarding rest.

Rest is typically known as that thing we do AFTER we expending energy. For example, after a basketball game in the driveway on a hot, summer afternoon, we plop down on the grass with our heart pumping rapidly. We're tired so we rest. Or we come home from work completely exhausted. So we sit in our favorite chair and relax for a few minutes.  This is called "resting from our work."

But consider flipping that concept upside down.  What if instead of resting from our work, we were to work from our rest?

I've started operating more each day from the posture that I work from my rest. Since doing that, I've noticed that I place a much higher priority on rest. I'm more purposeful about it. I'm more intentional. I'm more in tune with the rest that I need.

How about you? How do you view your rest? Is it just something you do at the end of the day? Consider the concept of making rest the first thing about your work. See how it effects the priority your place on rest in your ministry.

Work from your rest and you'll be Serving Strong!

Dad's Self Care

I came across a site that includes helpful information for those who fulfill the roles of both People-helper and Dad.

Visit Self Care and Time Management Tips for Dads and you see things such as

• Inner, Environmental, and Logistical types of self-care
• The definition of self-care (and it's NOT self-centered-ness)
• Seven tips to improve your self-care - here are 3 of them:

1) Maintain basic physical health habits (sleep, nutrition, etc.)

2) Add time to soothe, recharge and play

3) Quiet your inner voice

Being a quality people-helper AND a quality Dad requires intentional attention to these roles. Make your self-care a priority and you'll be Serving Strong!

Self Care First

Here is a great website dedicated to people who care for others. It is a response to compassion fatigue and we can all learn from what they are addressing.  Check it out.

SELF CARE FIRST

Care For The Caregiver

Youtube.com offers a great 20-minute video addressing the care for the caregiver. If you are in the business of helping other people, you may find some tremendous help as you develop your own framework of self care.

Check it out.

Take A Day Off? Are You Kidding Me???

The idea of pulling away from the pace seems to horrify some people. "Can you imagine the boatload of work I'd have to go back to?", they reply. Of course, there are seasons where the pace requires more of our attention than normal. But a frenzied pace that becomes chronic is unhealthy. It's best to weave sabbath into the fabric of the pace.

Groupcurriculum.org has a nice outline of a study on the topic of taking a sabbath day off. It comes from the message series from Andy Stanley, entitled "The Sinai Code."

Click here for the PDF

How's Your Bandwidth?

I was talking with a friend the other day. He was describing the difficulty in explaining computers to his mother. She has a dial up connection to the internet (very slow). But her idea is to buy a faster computer. My friend is trying to explain why that won't work.

Why won't a faster computer increase the speed of a dial up connection to the internet? Bandwidth. Bandwidth is like a roadway. The bandwidth on a dial up connection is like a narrow country road with the occasional one-lane bridge. In comparison, "high speed internet" (like cable, DSL, T1) is more like a 10-lane freeway. Now imagine thousands of cars trying to get to their destination. Imagine how much faster the traffic would flow on the freeway compared to the country road. That's bandwidth - the lines of connection from your computer to the internet, not the processor inside your computer.

Therefore, it doesn't matter how fast your processor is. If the information flowing from your computer to the internet is going over dial up lines, you will simply have to wait. Okay, so what does bandwidth have to do with serving others effectively?

Bandwidth and Self Care

Think of "bandwidth" as the capacity to serve with effectiveness and focus.  Think of self care as the way to keep bandwidth like high speed. In other words, the better the self care, the greater the capacity to serve others. Let me explain...

Let's peak into the life of Fred (imaginary name). Fred is a pastor of a medium sized church. He preaches, visits the sick in the hospital, counsels young couples... all the things that we normally imagine a pastor to do. But Fred isn't feeling well. In fact, he's carried a virus for several weeks now. He has coughing fits that interrupt conversations. He is on a routine diet of Tylenol as he routinely battles headaches. Fred is distracted. He's listening to a parishioner across his desk during a counseling session. He's trying to listen. But the headache and coughing are keeping him from focusing on the person's issues.

Fred's bandwidth (his capacity to be fully present in the counseling session) is like dial up. It's slow. His capacity to serve is small. His focus is almost non-existent. Fred needs to take better care of himself. He needs to see a doctor to get the right medicine to put the headaches and coughing to rest. Without the headaches and coughing, Fred is better able to stay focused when he's serving others.

How's YOUR bandwidth today? Are you investing in the routines you need to keep your capacity of service as high as it can be? Take care of yourself and you'll be Serving Strong!

image from helponechild.org

Mistakes That Add Stress

Athena Williams-Atwood, President of Work With Ease, lists 5 mistakes that contribute to stress and burnout. They are from a business perspective. But for those in ministry, a lot can still be gained by reading the post. Here are the 5 mistakes:

• Being unclear with work projects
• Not having a business plan, or having an underutilized one
• Limited planning time
• Lack of self-care and personal time
• Losing the passion for your business

READ THE ENTIRE POST.

Sometimes it's what we don't know that tends to trip us up. Stay on top of the things that can add to your stress and burnout and you'll be Serving Strong!

Allergies: Fight The Good Fight

We are smack-dab in allergy season. If you are among the many who suffer from allergies as a result of airborne pollen, there's a site with helpful information on how to reduce your exposure to pollen. Wikihow includes such things as

...keep your grass mowed low (to discourage the growth of flowers)

...wear sunglasses that fit well (to keep pollen from landing on your eyes)

...don't sleep with unwashed hair (to keep the pollen in your hair from resting on your pillow for you to inhale)

Read the entire list.

Taking care of yourself can involve the simplest steps to ensure you are Serving Strong!

Note: Picture comes from the Pulmonary Fibrosis website.

Fill The Gap With Trust... Reduce Stress

I previously posted a thought on trust in relationships.  Click here to read the entire post.

Andy Stanley, during a recent conference, listed some decisions and commitments we need to make in order to work together as a team. One of those commitments is

"When there is a gap between what I expect and what I experience, I will fill it with trust."

On a practical note, where can we apply this commitment in everyday life so we minimize the stress that conflict can have on us as people helpers?

• When I'm behind a car that has plenty of time to turn left in front of an oncoming truck yet refuses to go... I can have suspicion ("Why won't they go? Don't they know I'm in a hurry?! How incompetent!")... or I can have trust ("I wonder if they've been in an accident with a truck before. I'll take this time to pray for them.")

• When a co-worker doesn't return a sensitive/confidential email all day... I can have suspicion ("They're mad at me. I bet they're going behind my back to talk to others about the email message I sent them in confidence.")... or I can have trust ("They must be busy today. Even though they normally return emails promptly, there must be a dozen reasons why they couldn't this time.")

• When a friend walks right by me in Wal-Mart and doesn't say hello... I can have suspicion ("They are so into themselves. Didn't they even see me? Are they too good to say hello?")... or I can have trust ("They just didn't see me, I'm sure.")  ...NOTE: Why not say hello yourself in that situation anyway???

Here's the deal - the more we fill the gap (between expectation and experience) with suspicion, the more we hurt ourselves because of the increase in unnecessary stress. Fill the gap with trust (or, if necessary, talk it out with the other person) and ensure you are Serving Strong!

Memorial Day Grief

Memorial Day, for many, is a day off work to spread mulch, cut grass, cookout hot dogs, play volleyball, etc. But for many this day also represents a lot of grief that remains fresh, due to the loss of someone very special in their lives.

When we love someone, we are attached at the heart. When they are gone for good, it rips out a piece of our heart and that hurts. War, cancer, vehicle accidents, heart failure - there are many things that steal people away from us in this life.

Grief has been a topic discussed and documented throughout the years. There are a lot of resources to help the grieving person. Here are a just a couple, based on simply Googling the word "grief"...

• CaringInfo
• Coping with Grief and Loss
• The Compassionate Friends

See also this reference on the stages of grief from Wikipedia.

For all those who serve other people and will be struggling with the grief of losing a close relationship, our prayers go out to you this holiday. May God be close to you so that you continue Serving Strong!

More About Sleep...

I just Googled the word "sleep" and it returned over 30,000,000 hits in .21 seconds. Some of what I saw on the first page of results were...

• Sleep Facts
• Sleep - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
• The National Sleep Foundation - National Sleep Foundation
• Journal SLEEP
• What Sleep Is and Why All Kids Need It
• Sleep Medicine Home Page
• Howstuffworks "How Sleep Works"
• ...and on and on...

And that's just a few of the over 30,000,000 sites!

Fox News came out with a report on sleep yesterday. Researchers at the Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School in Singapore, the University of Michigan and the University of Pennsylvania performed a study. They asked 24 adults to perform simple tasks involving visual attention. They were asked to perform the tasks when they were well-rested and when they had missed a night's sleep. According to brain imaging, what resulted were intermittent shutdowns in the brain caused directly by sleep deprivation.

Okay. Can we all agree that we need sleep then? Can we agree that there is an apparent rhythm to life (like a pendulum swing from activity back to rest, to activity, to rest, to...)?

What kind of sleep are YOU getting these days? Are you having a rough time of it? Then take advantage of the resources available on the topic. Read up on sleep. If necessary, visit your doctor and find out how to make the most of this God-given gift of rest and renewal... and you'll be Serving Strong!

It's When We Are Weak...

If you've ever run a marathon (a race of 26.2 miles), you know what kind of state your body is in about mile marker 23. You feel a lot like what Kevin Miller describes in his recent post on the blog, Off The Agenda:

• You're not just famished, you're dangerously weak
• Your muscles and bones hurt
• Your electrolyte levels are way off
• You're not thinking clearly

Kevin points out that this is the time Satan seems to choose to come and tempt us. Not in the high moments, but when those high moments are long gone and when we are weak.

This is an incredible insight for us today. We must keep ourselves centered in Christ. We must take care of ourselves. When we do, we're Serving Strong!

Internet Accountability

How unfortunate. CNN's story of a Texas minister was caught in an internet sex sting and charged with online solicitation of a minor. This tragedy points to a tremendous need among those who serve in ministry.

But rather than go on about the problem (which I think most people are already aware of), I'd like to list some solutions:

CovenantEyes.com

PromiseKeepers' Eyepromise

X3Watch.com

Check out these sites. If you haven't done so already, start your own personal accountability program today. Protect your influence and you'll be Serving Strong!

Carrying Extra Weight Today?

Today I'm traveling to a group coaching retreat in the mountains of North Carolina. I am driving through West Virginia to get there. On the journey today, I had to follow a truck up a hill and there was no passing lane. The truck was hauling new automobiles, loaded with about 10 cars or so, I would guess. The longer we went, the slower the truck got.

This got me thinking. I have often tried to minister in my calling while carrying the weight of some other burden that was not mine to carry. I suppose It's not a real issue as long as the ministry isn't heavy (or when I'm going downhill, to carry the metaphor). But that extra weight can get quite heavy when the ministry is tough (or when I'm "going uphill").

What load are you choosing to carry that isn't yours to carry? How about shedding the load so you can continue Serving Strong!

It's All In How You See It

We are faced with a wide array of situations as people helpers. Each situation offers us the opportunity to choose how we are going to respond. Our response depends, in part, how we view the situation. Our view could be right or wrong. Here is an example (thanks to Kim Klaver):

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: "I am blind, please help."

A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it. He returned the sign to the blind man and left.

That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins. The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.

The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.

The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."

You see, it all depends on how we view a situation. Here's another example:

Let's say you're an owner of a store that sells precious, breakable glassware. You've had some instances where children were left unattended and broke several of your inventory.

Remember, it's all in how you view the situation.

One option is to post a sign on the door that reads, "CHILDREN ARE NOT TO BE LEFT UNATTENDED. IF CAUGHT, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE THE STORE."

Or you could do what one store owner did and post this sign:

Our response to situations depends on our view of them. In essence, you could say it depends on our mindset. And our mindset has a tremendous impact on our balance & self-care.

By the way, the Serving Strong eNews subscribers are currently receiving a series on Mindset into their inboxes every Tuesday at 6:00 am EST. If you would like to join the Serving Strong Community and start receiving the eNews, feel free to subscribe. It's free. The issues are short reads designed to keep balance & self-care in the front of your mind as you serve.

View your situations accurately, respond wisely and you'll be Serving Strong!

Quick Notes - Long Journey

The journey of personal growth and development is lifelong. It's not a sprint...it's a marathon. Weaving balance and self-care into the fabric of people-helping doesn't happen overnight.

One skill that will help make the journey effective is in the use of quick notes along the way. When have you had a great thought while on a walk or driving somewhere - only to forget it when you get to the place where you can get it down and not forget it? I have. I'm hit with a great insight and think, "that's a good thought. I should remember that when I get back." And then I never remember it and possibly lose the power the idea represented.

Here are some thoughts on keeping track of the "aha" moments that occur at the strangest times:

• JOTT IT.  Subscribe to Jott.com. This is a great service of calling in a quick note and it will convert your voice messages to text and send you an email.
• CALL YOURSELF.  Make a habit of calling your own mobile phone and leave yourself a quick voice message (make a habit of checking your voicemail everyday).
• WRITE IT DOWN.  Always keep a small notepad and pencil in your pocket or purse.
• USE A BUSINESS CARD.  If you carry business cards with nothing on the back, jot down your thought there and keep it in your pocket till you get home (be sure to make a habit of emptying your pockets each night).
• MEMORIZE IT.  If you can't call in a message or write down anything (maybe because you're driving or in a meeting) - use the power of memorization association. To illustrate this idea, say you're driving and you want to pick up a stuffed toy for your child, some bananas, a gallon of milk, and a newspaper... try a mental picture of a monkey eating a banana, drinking milk while reading the paper. The more absurd the mental picture, the more likely you'll remember when you get to the store.

Take advantage of growing incrementally over the long run. Be on a constant trajectory of getting better and better at life balance and self-care and you'll be Serving Strong!

You're Getting Verrrry Sleeeeepy...

Just a fun way to remind us all of the importance of sleep as we continue Serving Strong!

2 Quick Health Tips

I was reading a publication the other day that list some ideas from Women's Health I wanted to share with you:

Make a priority of taking power naps. They help you kill stress and recharge. It's helpful to keep the power nap to under 30 minutes.

Eat some healthy fats (like peanut butter or pistachios) 20 minutes before a meal. This will help diminish your appetite.

Constantly make your body's health a priority and you'll be Serving Strong!

Exercise And Depression

Many experts believe that one way of preventing depression is through regular exercise. They say it can increase the production of chemicals in the brain that elevate the mood (serotonin, etc.) In addition to that, you can exercise with others, thereby developing your social facet of life. This can create bonds of peer accountability and encouragement along the way.

Whatever exercise you are contemplating, if you haven't begun a plan, it's important to seek council from your family doctor in case of any medical conditions you may have. Your doctor can steer you toward a plan that will work for you.

Build the right exercise program into the fabric of your life and you'll be Serving Strong!

Piercing Your Egg

In April of 2004, a nine-year-old girl who reheated a boiled egg in a microwave for 40 seconds. About 30 seconds later, when she was carrying the egg, the egg exploded, hitting her in the right eye and face.

The shrapnel from the scalding egg tore open her cornea, the transparent coating that covers the iris and pupil, and caused the lens of her eye to cloud over so she could see only hand movements. Several months later, her vision was restored, but only after two operations in which her cornea was stitched and her damaged lens replaced with a plastic one.

A team of opthalmologists made an appeal in a letter to the British Medical Journal for microwave manufacturers to put warnings on the microwaves themselves to help people be more aware of the dangers of microwaving food that has a closed shell.

Microwave manufacturers do warn people to pierce intact eggs several times before heating them. But the warnings appear in leaflets that many consumers toss aside without notice, says Saurabh Goyal, an opthalmologist at Queen Mary's Hospital in Kent, UK, and one of the letter's authors.

How does an exploding egg relate to balance and self-care for people helpers?

Some people helpers serve in extreme conditions. Perhaps their lives are in constant danger. Or they can't easily get away from their work because they serve overseas in a remote area without a mode of transportation to get away from it all occasionally.

Some people helpers are just plain over busy. The demands of the job pull at them around the clock. There seems to be no escape. They have prioritized their "to do" list and all 400 items are A1 priorities.

Your personal "relief valve"

To prevent explosion of the soul, build in a personalized method to "pierce the shell". Some call this a "relief valve" - a way of releasing the tension brought on by the demands of a people-helping profession. Examples include fly-fishing, taking a walk and praying, playing the piano, working a crossword puzzle, and so on. The key is to find what works for you and take advantage of your relief valve - and you'll be Serving Strong!

"I Just Blew The Engine"

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a young teenager. I was on my way home from my girlfriend's house. She lived about an hour away. I had seen the oil light come on at the dashboard days before. I just figured I would get more oil when I got the chance. Besides, the light would go out occasionally. So I thought I had more time.

But on my way home from my girlfriend's house that day, the light came on and stayed on.  I was still 20 minutes from home. "I'll take care of it when I get home," I reasoned with myself (and unfortunately, self agreed.)

Then this terrible banging started. It was loud. It wouldn't stop. I drove home with the sound. It seemed to get worse as I accelerated. Long story short -- I blew the entire engine of my Honda Civic. The loud banging sound I heard was the engine tearing itself apart because there was no oil to absorb the friction between the moving parts within the engine casing. Hmmmm. Imagine that. (By the way, thanks to my Dad for bailing me out and helping me with the new engine.)

So what does this story have to do with taking care of ourselves as we serve others?

Oil = Self Care

Oil. It's the substance which absorbs friction of moving parts. It helps ensure long engine life. There are 2 things about oil that we need to remember: 1) It must be clean; 2) There must be enough of it. This requires periodically checking the quality and level - changing the oil when necessary.

Self Care. It's the activity which absorbs friction of serving others. It helps ensure a strong finish. There are 2 things about self care we need to remember: 1) It must be tailored to who you are; 2) There must be enough of it. This requires periodically checking the quality and frequency - making adjustments along the way when necessary.

So, how's your serving "engine"? Are you checking your "oil" frequently enough? What's the level? What's the quality? Or is your life too jam packed with activity that you're reasoning with yourself, saying, "I'll take care of myself when my schedule slows down." Be careful. You may tear yourself apart.

If we take care of self, self will Serve Strong!

What's Your "Laugh Count"?

We hear a lot of talk in health circles about the importance of white blood cell counts, sugar counts, counting calories, and so on. But when was the last time you checked your laugh count?

The folks at Teamsugar.com indicate that children laugh approximately 400 times a day, while adults laugh about 15 times a day. For the adult in the people-helping field, this indicates an epidemic. We've got to increase our laugh count!

What laughter does

According to Psychology Today and Howstuffworks.com, laughter...

• Establishes (or restores) a positive emotional climate between two people
• Defuses anger and anxiety
• Paves the path to intimacy
• Helps us cope with major illness and stresses of life
• Provides a safety valve that shuts off the flow of stress hormones (which are known to suppress the immune system)
• Releases natural killer cells that destroy tumors and viruses
• Is equal to 10 minutes on the rowing machine or 15 minutes on an exercise bike (if you laugh 100 times)
• Provides a way for stored negative emotions (anger sadness and fear) to be harmlessly released

How to increase your laugh count

• Reconnect with what makes you laugh - then engage in it (a movie, that joke book that's collecting dust in your basement, etc.).
• Identify the funny people you know - then spend more time with them.
• Memorize a joke a day and make a commitment to share it with someone.
• Fake it.  Just start laughing for no apparent reason (you might want to do this when you're alone in the car or something).
• Smile. Simply change your expression.
• Give yourself permission to laugh. Even though the needs are all around us, laughter is still an emotion God gave us for a reason. Laughter is a legitimate and healthy activity. Don't add guilt to your laughter.

Weave laughter into the fabric of you people-helping and you'll be Serving Strong!