Serving Strong

Your Next Vacation... stay connected or unplug?

It's interesting, isn't it, how opposing the views are about staying connected or completely unplugging during vacation.  Here are 2 links to opposing views on the subject.  Notice the reasoning behind why one author points out the benefits of staying connected while the other points out the benefits of leaving the connection home.

Vacation and stay connected

Vacation unplugged

Decide for yourself what role your vacation has in your overall mission to serve others.  If we work from our rest, how can we best renew and restore?

Make the most of your vacation away from the service and you'll be Serving Strong!

What's Your Purpose?

Jerry Lopper, Personal Development Feature Writer for Suite101, recently wrote an article on work/life balance.  In it, he points that the fundamental building block for a well-balanced life is PURPOSE.  Read the entire article.

And your purpose is...

What has God uniquely wired into you that might give you some clues to the answer to that question?  Here are 2 questions to get you started on a personal journey of discovery...

• Do you prefer to multi-task, or do you find comfort in taking one task at a time?
• Do you get your energy from interacting with people or from being by yourself?

The effort you put forth to knowing your purpose is well worth the time.  If you wake up every morning without a crystal clear understanding and awareness of why you exist, you are subject to the whims of circumstances and other people's agendas for you.  But if you begin each day with a renewed sense of mission, circumstances and other people become the opportunities through which you can fulfill that God-given mission.

Knowing your purpose = Serving Strong!

Mad Church Disease... coming soon

Anne Jackson is coming out with a book soon that deals with the burnout epidemic in our churches.

Check out www.madchurchdisease.com to read more.

Check out Anne's blog for more information and commentary.

The more we are aware of the barriers to serving strong, the more likely we will be able to Serve Strong!

What About The Rest?

In my continuing research and thinking on the topics of life balance and self-care, something has come to my attention regarding rest.

Rest is typically known as that thing we do AFTER we expending energy. For example, after a basketball game in the driveway on a hot, summer afternoon, we plop down on the grass with our heart pumping rapidly. We're tired so we rest. Or we come home from work completely exhausted. So we sit in our favorite chair and relax for a few minutes.  This is called "resting from our work."

But consider flipping that concept upside down.  What if instead of resting from our work, we were to work from our rest?

I've started operating more each day from the posture that I work from my rest. Since doing that, I've noticed that I place a much higher priority on rest. I'm more purposeful about it. I'm more intentional. I'm more in tune with the rest that I need.

How about you? How do you view your rest? Is it just something you do at the end of the day? Consider the concept of making rest the first thing about your work. See how it effects the priority your place on rest in your ministry.

Work from your rest and you'll be Serving Strong!

Who's Responsible For Work-Life Balance?

Just came across an article on the web about Work-Life Balance by Darryl L. Mobley, purportedly the nation's foremost thought leader on Work-Life Balance.

It seems a new Work-Life Balance study shows that most feel that life is running them ragged and they don't know what to do about it. Research among 1,789 adults showed that most people believe that Work-Life Balance is impossible. Among working women, a whopping 87% believe that Work-Life Balance is not possible to achieve. Among working men, an even higher 89% said that Work-Life Balance was not possible.

A couple signs you aren't balanced:

• Poor or worsening relationship with significant other
• Not enough time spend with friends
• Feeling constantly stressed, on-edge, cranky, angry
• Read the entire list of 10 items...

The best thing I like about the article is it points out that Work-Life Balance doesn't come from company programs.  It comes when the individual person determines for themselves a proper mixture of key life areas (work, family, friends, fun, self, etc.)

So, what is your proper mix?  Define that and start taking responsibility for your own Work-Life Balance and you'll be Serving Strong!

Mistakes That Add Stress

Athena Williams-Atwood, President of Work With Ease, lists 5 mistakes that contribute to stress and burnout. They are from a business perspective. But for those in ministry, a lot can still be gained by reading the post. Here are the 5 mistakes:

• Being unclear with work projects
• Not having a business plan, or having an underutilized one
• Limited planning time
• Lack of self-care and personal time
• Losing the passion for your business

READ THE ENTIRE POST.

Sometimes it's what we don't know that tends to trip us up. Stay on top of the things that can add to your stress and burnout and you'll be Serving Strong!

Want Greater Work-Life Balance?

WebMd offers 5 tips for developing a greater work-life balance. Take a look and see if any of the tips are worth looking into for your own work with helping people.

Here are the tips, in a nutshell:

1. Figure out what really matters in your life.
2. Drop unnecessary activities.
3. Protect your private time.
4. Accept help to balance your life.
5. Plan fun and relaxation.

Weaving balance techniques into your swing from activity to rest is a vital part of Serving Strong!

It's All In How You See It

We are faced with a wide array of situations as people helpers. Each situation offers us the opportunity to choose how we are going to respond. Our response depends, in part, how we view the situation. Our view could be right or wrong. Here is an example (thanks to Kim Klaver):

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: "I am blind, please help."

A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it. He returned the sign to the blind man and left.

That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins. The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.

The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.

The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."

You see, it all depends on how we view a situation. Here's another example:

Let's say you're an owner of a store that sells precious, breakable glassware. You've had some instances where children were left unattended and broke several of your inventory.

Remember, it's all in how you view the situation.

One option is to post a sign on the door that reads, "CHILDREN ARE NOT TO BE LEFT UNATTENDED. IF CAUGHT, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE THE STORE."

Or you could do what one store owner did and post this sign:

Our response to situations depends on our view of them. In essence, you could say it depends on our mindset. And our mindset has a tremendous impact on our balance & self-care.

By the way, the Serving Strong eNews subscribers are currently receiving a series on Mindset into their inboxes every Tuesday at 6:00 am EST. If you would like to join the Serving Strong Community and start receiving the eNews, feel free to subscribe. It's free. The issues are short reads designed to keep balance & self-care in the front of your mind as you serve.

View your situations accurately, respond wisely and you'll be Serving Strong!

Quick Notes - Long Journey

The journey of personal growth and development is lifelong. It's not a sprint...it's a marathon. Weaving balance and self-care into the fabric of people-helping doesn't happen overnight.

One skill that will help make the journey effective is in the use of quick notes along the way. When have you had a great thought while on a walk or driving somewhere - only to forget it when you get to the place where you can get it down and not forget it? I have. I'm hit with a great insight and think, "that's a good thought. I should remember that when I get back." And then I never remember it and possibly lose the power the idea represented.

Here are some thoughts on keeping track of the "aha" moments that occur at the strangest times:

• JOTT IT.  Subscribe to Jott.com. This is a great service of calling in a quick note and it will convert your voice messages to text and send you an email.
• CALL YOURSELF.  Make a habit of calling your own mobile phone and leave yourself a quick voice message (make a habit of checking your voicemail everyday).
• WRITE IT DOWN.  Always keep a small notepad and pencil in your pocket or purse.
• USE A BUSINESS CARD.  If you carry business cards with nothing on the back, jot down your thought there and keep it in your pocket till you get home (be sure to make a habit of emptying your pockets each night).
• MEMORIZE IT.  If you can't call in a message or write down anything (maybe because you're driving or in a meeting) - use the power of memorization association. To illustrate this idea, say you're driving and you want to pick up a stuffed toy for your child, some bananas, a gallon of milk, and a newspaper... try a mental picture of a monkey eating a banana, drinking milk while reading the paper. The more absurd the mental picture, the more likely you'll remember when you get to the store.

Take advantage of growing incrementally over the long run. Be on a constant trajectory of getting better and better at life balance and self-care and you'll be Serving Strong!

Piercing Your Egg

In April of 2004, a nine-year-old girl who reheated a boiled egg in a microwave for 40 seconds. About 30 seconds later, when she was carrying the egg, the egg exploded, hitting her in the right eye and face.

The shrapnel from the scalding egg tore open her cornea, the transparent coating that covers the iris and pupil, and caused the lens of her eye to cloud over so she could see only hand movements. Several months later, her vision was restored, but only after two operations in which her cornea was stitched and her damaged lens replaced with a plastic one.

A team of opthalmologists made an appeal in a letter to the British Medical Journal for microwave manufacturers to put warnings on the microwaves themselves to help people be more aware of the dangers of microwaving food that has a closed shell.

Microwave manufacturers do warn people to pierce intact eggs several times before heating them. But the warnings appear in leaflets that many consumers toss aside without notice, says Saurabh Goyal, an opthalmologist at Queen Mary's Hospital in Kent, UK, and one of the letter's authors.

How does an exploding egg relate to balance and self-care for people helpers?

Some people helpers serve in extreme conditions. Perhaps their lives are in constant danger. Or they can't easily get away from their work because they serve overseas in a remote area without a mode of transportation to get away from it all occasionally.

Some people helpers are just plain over busy. The demands of the job pull at them around the clock. There seems to be no escape. They have prioritized their "to do" list and all 400 items are A1 priorities.

Your personal "relief valve"

To prevent explosion of the soul, build in a personalized method to "pierce the shell". Some call this a "relief valve" - a way of releasing the tension brought on by the demands of a people-helping profession. Examples include fly-fishing, taking a walk and praying, playing the piano, working a crossword puzzle, and so on. The key is to find what works for you and take advantage of your relief valve - and you'll be Serving Strong!

Recalibrating - Key To Balanced Ministry

A good friend of mine, Paul (happens to also be my lead pastor) posted a tremendous illustration of how recalibration is helping him serve with balance. Here's an excerpt:

"We purchased a GPS (named her Dora) for the trip. It was great to have such a good tool with us to navigate florida. One thing I notices was how Dora would re-calibrate herself once we missed a turn or stopped to grab a cup of coffee at Starbucks. She would just find out where we are and just adjust the trip to get us to where we were headed. So for every cup of coffee, the trip changed a little, but we ended up at our destination. God really spoke to me last week about areas of my life that have gotten side-tracked. Sometimes we need to get away to realize how far we have drifted..."

Read the entire post to see what changes Paul is making as a result of the time away.

Build recalibration into the fabric of your ministry. Get away from time to time to check your coordinates and you'll be Serving Strong!

The "Hard Worker" Syndrome

What does your family think of you at home? Do they consider you a hard worker? If so, hold on a minute. Don't assume that's a good thing. Gene Bedell, entrepreneur, founder of Tenzing LLC, and parent points out something to ponder in his book, "3 Steps To Yes". If your family thinks you're a hard worker and you are proud of that - there may be more to the story.

You may be thinking you're doing all that work and ministry for them. You may think your work makes it possible for your family to do what they want to do and own what they own. You may also think since you're in the business of helping people, they should understand and be just as excited about your ministry as you are.

But if your spouse needs companionship and your children need help being accepted by their peers, your position as superprovider or superminister is irrelevant to them no matter how much your earnings can provide or how many other people you help. Being a hard worker in people-helping is only part of the equation. Your role as spouse and parent cannot just get your left-overs when you come home at the end of the day.

What kind of worker are you? How do you balance your roles of people-helper, spouse, and parent? Keep a close eye on your influence at work AND home and you'll be Serving Strong!

Do You Serve Alone?

Serving without connection is a dangerous thing. Pursuing a ministry devoid of community is like skating on thin ice. It's a shortcut to hitting "the wall".

Check out Todd Rhoades' post called "When Kingdom-Minded People Conspire." He offers some thought-provoking questions which can help you assess how "maverick" you are being in your calling.

Make sure you are serving in connection with others and you'll be Serving Strong!

Landmark Transition

Work/life balance. We read a lot about it in articles these days. For some, it means a seamless transition from a work mindset to a life mindset, depending on what's appropriate at the time.

One way I accomplish this aspect of balance in my life is a landmark on my 12-minute commute home from work. On my way home, I cross over an interstate. While on the bridge, I mentally close the door to work and begin thinking of my wife, my daughter in college, and my teenage son. I pick a thing about each one of them (something they like, or fear, or are interested in) and dwell on that for the remainder of my commute (about 4 minutes or so). I try to EMPTY my mind of work-related stuff and FILL my mind with family.

Now, before I go any further with this post, I must say this is a struggle for me at times. SOmetimes I forget. If I'm not thinking, I can bring work right into the house with me. Then my wife can see work smeared all over my face. But when I remember to do it, it really works.

This is possible to do, whether our commute is 5 minutes or an hour.

So, what's a landmark on your commute? How are you going to use it to make a significant transition from work (or ministry) to home?

Healthy work/life balance is one way of Serving Strong!

Clutter Getting In Your Way?

Clutter is an enemy to your strong service to others. The main thing about clutter is it tends to occur gradually. We don't notice the clutter gaining on us. Before we know it, our life and ministry has grown more and more difficult and we can't figure out why. Could it be you have a growing clutter problem?

Lorraine Cohen is a life strategist. In her recent post entitled, "10 Tips for Greater Work-Life Balance" she talks about clutter:

"Clear out the clutter in your life. This includes repairs, stuff accumulating in your home, people etc. Let some things go! This is a big energy zapper. Imagine how much energy you'll free up when you 'lighten up!' "

Take the time to inventory your clutter today. What are two things you could get rid of that would free up the greatest amount of energy for you?

Overcoming clutter is one good way to Serve Strong!

Over Scheduling

Centredaily.com issued an article today entitled, "Over Scheduling: America's Time Management Crisis." They highlight a website www.yesyoucanonline.info which apparently has some interesting stuff related to finances, positive thinking, health, and family fun.

They also suggest some ideas for solving your time management crisis. Here are a couple:

• Foster a Positive Attitude. Begin your day with a sense of wonder. Then, tackle goal setting for the day.
• Nurture Your Body. Good time management involves nurturing your body. Ideal goal setting includes exercise and recreation.
• Honor Personal Relationships. Work life balance is key. Utilizing time management skills helps foster meaningful relationships. When goal setting, plan to connect through lunch, phone calls, or meaningful email or cards.

Check out the entire article.

When we are able to overcome our time management crisis, we are Serving Strong!

Are You Present In The Present?

When I am able to make the most of a moment; when I am there and aware enough to see what's going on and participate fully; when I am able to engage in the conversation or activity with abandon - then I am present in the present.

But as long as I am thinking of something in the past that happened or a future event, I rob myself of being present in the present. Many times, this is because I am either beating myself up for a perceived failure (past) or worrying about something that has yet to even happen (future.) Whatever the reason, I'm not present in the present.

But being present in the present is where the joy is. It's where life is really lived. I really hope I can cultivate this habit of being present in the present. I don't want to go through life while being robbed of life at the same time.

Be present in the present and Serve Strong!

Increase speed - decrease reaction time

Our son has his driver's permit. We are, therefore, doing things such as keeping from putting our foot through the floorboard to help him stop, or grasping at the dashboard to hold on while we pull into traffic.

He's a great driver, really. And we're blessed.

But one thing I've noticed as a parent to a child's driving training: the faster you go, the less your reaction time. If I am going 35 miles per hour and a deer jumps out in front of me, I am more likely to make the necessary adjustments to avoid a collision. Try that at 65 miles per hour and it's near impossible.

Same is true in life. When I am rushing from task to task at a fevered pitch, I am more likely to miss certain opportunities or make necessary adjustments to serve with effectiveness. So, the next time you're tempted to go full out all day, stop. Think...

At what pace can you truly Serve Strong?

Overload!! Overload!!

I am re-reading one of the best books I've ever come across regarding balance & self-care. It's Restoring Margin To Overloaded Lives, by Richard A. Swenson, M.D. It's a must read for anyone who is in the profession of helping others.

Swenson highlights some areas of overload. Ask yourself if these apply to you. If so, ask yourself what impact they are having on your life. Then brainstorm some ways of coping/dealing with them for greater margin in your life.

• HURRY. Fast food, rush hour, frequent flyer, expressway, overnight delivery, rapid transit, sprint, quicken, dayrunner, etc.
• MEDIA. Negative news, YouTube, TV, DVD rentals, Guitar Hero, Halo III, profanity, politics, terrorism
• DEBT. Need I say more?
• POSSESSIONS. If you have a storage rental housing your stuff because your garage is too full, this one may apply to you.

Creating margin is one of the biggest keys to Serving Strong!

Are you a people-helper AND caregiver at the same time?

Working in the people-helping profession is challenging. And if you're also caring for a loved one at the same time, you must be at the top of your game with your own life balance and self-care.

Benton Hospice Service wrote an article called "Caring for an ill loved one? Don't neglect yourself".

The tips & suggestions are very practical and contain good sense.  Here are a few thoughts on their list:

PRACTICALLY, use equipment to help aid you in the process of caregiving, such as...

• A baby monitor, phone, or intercom system
• Over-bed tables for eating & reading
• Hand-held showers, bathseats & nonskid mats to help with bathing
• Grab bars near the toilet or tub

PERSONALLY, take simple steps to stay energized & connected, such as...

• Get enough rest & exercise
• Eat healthy (limit sugar, sodium & fatty foods)
• Learn breathing exercises or meditation techniques to manage stress
• Learn to accept support & encourage from others

For more information, the article points to these websites:

www.caringinfo.org and www.caregiving.org.  Check them out if you're serving others AND caring for an ill loved one.  May God bless you as you continue Serving Strong!

A brand new year

Well, here we are. An entire new year lay before us. Full of opportunity. Full of possibility.

As we embark on 2008 together, I have some general thoughts that are begging to be put down on paper so here they are in no particular order (do with them whatever you want):

• It all comes down to the walk. I can attend seminars, read books, meet great people, and see great events unfold. But when it comes to my balance and self care in serving other people, it comes down to my individual choices. I don't grow simply by knowing great people or attending the right seminars. It takes individual effort on a regular basis.
• A day is still just a day. When I come to work, I will have enough on my plate to accomplish. Some days my plate is incredibly full. Other days, I am on top of my game and everything I plan to do gets done. But there will never be more than 24 hours in a day. This year, I will do my best not to get so uptight & nervous when I am overwhelmed. God knows what I have to face. I will rely on Him to help me discern what's priority during the busy times.
• The big picture. There will be many times when the details get overwhelming. I will be further ahead if I can periodically put on by "big picture" lenses and not get so caught up in the detail.
• The weekly review. I have so many times penned plans that were great and motivating to me. But then, after a while, I lose steam and forget why I set out to do what I planned. This year, I want to look at my priorities at least on a weekly basis. I want to ask myself the hard questions which will keep me on track.
• Always growing, always learning. This year I want to be 100% present wherever I am. I want to learn from other people, learn from my own responses, learn from my circumstances. I want to listen not just with my ears, but by observing and questioning what has become status quo.
• Centered. The longer I live, the more I believe in the concept of centering. At the core of my being is the leadership of God. When I take over for myself, I inevitably fail. So, everything I say, do, think, read, listen to will be filtered through the central command of God's leadership.

I trust this year of 2008 will be a GREAT year of Serving Strong for you!

Take a number

My wife's family came to our house for Christmas this year. That being the case, my wife and I were busy preparing the house and pantry for our guests. Part of the preparation involved a trip to the grocery store. While there, we had to go to the deli counter to order some turkey or something (I'm not real sure. I'm just the cart driver.)

Luckily, we were the only ones there at the time. The lady behind the counter was able to give us her 100% attention and take our order and go to work getting the meat sliced. While waiting I was musing about how nice it was not to have to wait to be noticed by the deli workers. That's not fun.

At least grocery stores have installed this neat little thing called the number system. When it's really busy, the deli workers resort to asking everyone to take a number. Then all they have to do is press this little button and the number increases. Then they call out the next number and go to work on the next order. The service isn't as personal, but it is efficient.

I thought of how this relates to me as I serve other people in my life. When I'm not busy, I'm able to give 100% attention to the person I'm caring for. The help is much more personal and meaningful. But when I'm busy, people have to virtually take a number and only get my busy, "efficient" attention.

How busy are you? Are you so busy that the people around you only get your "efficient" attention? This new year, why not work on your "busy-ness" so you are 100% present with what (or who) is in front of you at the time.

Curb your busy-ness so you don't have to resort to the number system and you'll be Serving Strong!

It's the network

Verizon has done a fine job branding itself with the use of the "It's the network" phrase. Each commercial has someone with a Verizon mobile phone and hundreds of people behind them, signifying that they are not alone - that the network goes everywhere with them.It's nice to have the assurance of having the network behind you.

But what if the network represents all of the people who have expectations of you? What if every time you go to complete a project, the network is right there nagging you to meet their needs instead? What if the network breathes down your neck when you're trying to have personal study time with God? What if you're a Pastor and your congregation is constantly in the back of your mind to the point that you cannot think for yourself anymore?

Serving can get the best of us if we're not careful. Those we serve can get too many, too close, too often and we end up becoming resentful, irritable, and overwhelmed. Sometimes, we need to go to where the network can't find us.

How do you get away from the network? Here are some suggestions:

• Schedule an appoint with yourself and keep it sacred.
• Build block time into your weekly routine. Block time is a 1-3 hour segment of time you reserve to accomplish those tasks which require some time to get your mind into.
• Set virtual boundaries around yourself. For example, one of my coaching clients is working on a process of closing out work from her mind as the car passes a specific point during her commute from work. Then she starts focusing on her family the rest of the drive home.

Learn to handle the network and you'll be Serving Strong!

Are you learning but never seem to get any smarter?

Ken Blanchard, Paul J. Meyer and Dick Ruhe have published the book, Know Can Do! in which they highlight the obstacles that prevent people from implementing what they learn. These obstacles include:

• Information Overload (too much learning in too little time)
• Negative Filtering (holding onto negative thought processes which prevent an open mind)
• Lack Of Follow-Up (not having a plan to put the new knowledge into action)

I have indicated in previous posts that there are two well-documented realities:

1. First Reality: There is overwhelming evidence that pastors are struggling with burnout, depression, stress, low self-esteem, loneliness, and obesity. Some say is is a result of the very profession pastors are in. They are expected to be all things to all people. Plus they are dealing with people and their struggles.
2. Second Reality: There is an over-abundance of information that addresses burnout, depression, stress, low self-esteem, loneliness, and obesity. I Google'd "stress" the other day resulting in over 285,000,000 hits in 0.5 seconds. The first page of results gave me enough information to learn what good stress is, what bad stress is, what its effect is on my life, and steps I can take to reduce the bad stress from my life.

There is a gap between the struggle pastors face and the resources that sit in bookshelves and websites across the world. The problem is in what the autuhors highlight in Know Can do!

Coaching is the key to filling this gap. With a personal coach, a pastor overcomes the obstacles mentioned above:

• The learning is in smaller bits of information more frequently
• The pastor and coach discover a positive perspective for longer-lasting impact
• The pastor and coach design a follow up plan of action that is do-able

Check out more about what coaching is.

Contact me if you're interested in exploring a coaching benefit for yourself. Learn the art of weaving balance and self-care into the fabric of your ministry.

Finding it hard to sleep as Christmas Day approaches?

We each respond to stress in our own way. But a common reaction is sleeplessness. When there are too many parties to attend, too many expectations to meet, people coming to the house, and so on, the mind doesn't know when to stop racing and just rest.

I found a site with an article on steps that may help if you are one of the many people who suffer from insomnia. Maybe one or more of the 10 steps listed will help. Some of them include setting the stage by turning off the computer and TV one hour before bedtime, listening to music without words, and imagery.

Check out the article

Sleep is one of the major factors to healthy balance and self-care. Get good sleep and you'll be Serving Strong!

"Have you left room for dessert?"

"Have you left room for dessert?"

Waiter and waitresses ask this at almost every restaurant.  The question comes toward the end of the meal and just prior to presenting the check. They want to be sure you haven't forgotten their triple chocolate truffle surprise, or their lemon encrusted pie with caramel, nuts, and whipped cream. Great stuff!

Unfortunately, I always forget about dessert. By the time I'm asked the question, I've already mentioned at least 4 times how full I am.

Christmas is just about upon us. By the time January 2, 2008 arrives, we'll wonder where all the time went. For many, this is a very hectic time of year. There are parties to plan, parties to attend, gifts to wrap, shops to visit, friends to see, family to eat with, egg nog to make, a house to clean, and on and on it goes.

This holiday, may I offer a suggestion? Instead of getting all caught up in the activity (like normal food), leave room for dessert (such as being present in the moment, enjoying the laughter of the kids, being thankful for all you have, giving to those in need, sharing God moments with the ones you love, recommitting yourself to be the best you can be in 2008, and so on.)

This Christmas, LEAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT and you'll be Serving Strong!

Trying to fit 10 pounds into a 2 pound bag?

We cleaned out our 15 year old's bedroom this past weekend. What an amazing feat! The stuff that accumulates is incredible. Some stuff is great memories. We laughed at some of the elementary papers. And the pictures we found were priceless. But most stuff is trash.

As I was getting the trash ready to take out to the garage, I was struck by a common occurrence among people (me included) who fall into the trap of thinking they need to be all things to all people. I was trying to fit more junk into a bag that was already full. Stuff was falling all around on the floor (much to my dog's delight).

Ever been too busy? One little disappointment sets you off and you wonder where your anger came from? Me too. Often we're asking ourselves, "How did I get this busy?"

How do we get so busy?

Perhaps we like being needed. Or maybe we think that just because an opportunity presents itself, that's a sign we're to jump at the chance. Saying "no" may hurt the other person. Saying "yes" feels good (at least at first).

What happens when we're too busy?

When we're involved in more than the day allows, we start to become drained. We are so busy we forget our priorities. We lose focus on what's really important. We may start treating those around us like objects to merely handle efficiently (not a good idea). Some of us get irritable. Then there's sleep loss, anxiety, and eventually depression, and so on.

What can we do about it?

• Learn to say "no". Just because an opportunity comes your way doesn't mean it requires your automatic "yes". Take some time to evaluate the opportunity. Is it reasonable? Is it within you gift mix? Is it something you feel God is asking you to do? Have you considered what you'll have to say "no" to in exchange for the "yes"?
• Find your contentment in being centered in Christ. Stay close to Him. Don't allow the feelings of being needed nudge His place at the throne of your life.

Keep your load to your capacity and you'll be Serving Strong!

Blackberry orphans

Interesting article I read in the Canadian HR Reporter this morning. It's about Blackberry owners not allowing for a more definite line between work and personal relationships. Read the entire article here.

But do you need to own a Blackberry to be doing the same thing? Do those around you feel like "ministry orphans"? Do they feel like they are getting your leftovers by the time you come home from the office?

Making the break between work and home life (work life balance) is difficult for some to do. But it IS possible. It may take some time. It may require changing some habits and setting some boundaries. But given that your closest relationships are vital to your overall health, isn't it worth it?

Here are a few tips to help make the break between ministry work and family:

• Turn off your cell phone and leave it in the car when you go in for dinner.
• If you must work at home, sit down with your family and talk out a sensible block of time for you to do work.
• Develop a "leaving the office" routine. Consider a ritual of cleaning off your desk, turning off your computer, getting on your knees, and saying a prayer of closure. And when you get up from your knees, let that symbolize leaving the work and approaching home.

A healthy balance between your ministry and your relationships is part of Serving Strong!

Thinking ahead

Ever found yourself in the middle of a thousand tasks and ask yourself, "How in the world did I get here?" I have. It creeps up on me. I'm doing fine, on top of things, and then POW, I'm knee deep in responsibilities that are pulling me in 15 different directions at once.

Life is that way sometimes. But we can minimize this occurrence by thinking ahead. To illustrate, I thought of this concept when I was returning to my office from a meeting. I knew I needed gas and the Sheetz station was up ahead on the right. So, before I approached the stop light, I moved into the right lane - in anticipation of turning right into the gas station. I was thinking ahead. In fact, while sitting at the light, I snapped a picture from the driver's seat (for those visuals reading this post!)

We can take this same concept into our balance and self-care. Here are a few examples:

• Think ahead and plan to accomplish some light duty tasks just before that potentially negative meeting with someone in a few hours.
• Think ahead and plan to take some time off just after officiating an especially difficult funeral.
• Think ahead and plan some block time to do some research if you've been asked to present on a topic a month from now.

Thinking ahead won't always keep the multitude of tasks from creeping up occasionally and making us feel overwhelmed. But it will help us keep it to a minimum.

Think ahead and you'll be Serving Strong!

The next time you're driving...

There are two common sights in front of us when we're driving. One is the gear indicator and the other is the gas gauge. Use these things to help you stay balanced and in good personal care.

GEAR INDICATOR

Generally, there are 4 main gears for driving a car. Here is a list and how it relates to your balance and self care:

P (park). We are weak in our ministry if there isn't an intentional time when we stop, park ourselves before God, and listen to his wise counsel.

R (reverse). Sometimes, for the sake of good balance, we need to go back to someone we were being short with and apologize. Jesus knew what He was saying in Matthew 18 about how vital it is to manage conflict. If we do, we are taking care of ourselves.

N (neutral). Sometimes we need to just veg out. Rest. Relax. Remain still. Catch our breath.

D (drive). There are times when we need to do some real work in ministry. These are seasons of life when hard work cannot be ignored. Some deadlines are just part of life and we need to keep them.

GAS GAUGE

Every gas tank tends to run empty if it's not filled up occasionally. Whenever you refuel at the gas station and you're standing there waiting for the pump to complete, take the time to pause and reflect on Who you are serving and how much rest you need to catch up on.

To be filed...

Does this look like a familiar sight? I think you'll find it in many church and business offices across the country. It's the job which seemingly no one wants to tackle. It may seem trivial, but it can contribute to the level of stress in the office.

Here are some suggestions to help keep it to a minimum:

1. Decide what needs to be filed. Some items contain information that could be obtained via any Google search. If so, pitch it. Don't let it fatten your files.
2. Delegate. Perhaps there is someone who actually loves to file. They have nothing else to do and could see it as their ministry (okay, I know I'm dreaming, but throw out the suggestion to those around you. You may be surprised. Someone may be called to serve as "minister of file cabinets".)
3. Share the load. If you have an office staff of individuals, ask each one to file 3 things each day as part of their routines. It will help keep the stack to a minimum. You know... "many hands make light loads" or something like that.
4. Have a file party. When the bin gets full, call the staff together, order pizza, put on some fun music, and divide out the stack to each person and have a Filing Blitz Party. Make the mundane task of filing the very thing that pulls your staff together.

Take these suggestions & eliminate this common source of stress and you'll be Serving Strong!

Two pastors talk about their depression

"Depression and burnout are becoming the occupational hazards of ministry. In a recent Enrichment poll, 17% of those who responded said that quite often they were depressed to the extent it affected their ministry performance. Another 20% said they experienced this lever of depression every 2 or 3 months."

This quote, from a Summer 2006 article in The Enrichment Journal, further highlights the kind of issues pastors face. Although it's a relatively old article, it could well have been written this morning. The issues are being felt right now by ministry servants around the world.

The article, an interview with Wayde I. Goodall and E. Glenn Wagner, is a tremendous read. Two pastors sharing their struggle with depression and the effects ministry serving had on them. If you're a ministry servant, I urge you to read it and gain comfort that you are not alone. These challenges that a such a prevalent part of ministry do NOT have to grip you to the point of hitting the wall and giving up.

Check it out

This article (and there are so many others out there saying the same thing) is why Serving Strong exists. These challenges of ministry do NOT have to grip you and render you ineffective. There is help. There is a way of Serving Strong!

It strikes me odd that, in this day of tremendous resources on preventing burnout and other side effects of ministry (books, seminars, conferences, DVD's, CD's, presentations, workbooks, home study course, etc.), so many ministry servants are still struggling. There's an apparent gap between these resources and the great people who respond to God's call on their life to serve others.

Serving Strong presents you three options that help to address this gap:

1. Blog.  You are currently reading the Serving Strong blog. This is a place to come, free of charge, to see what is going on with research and information specifically regarding balance and self care for ministry servants.
2. eNewsletter. Every Tuesday morning at 6:00 am EST, Serving Strong sends out a free, quick thought directly to the inbox of its subscribers. It doesn't take a lot of time to read. It's designed to keep balance and self care in the forefront of your mind as you pursue your calling to serve others. This newsletter is now reaching people in four countries. SUBSCRIBE TODAY. Or, CHECK THE ARCHIVES to get a feel for the eNews.
3. Coaching. This is a personal benefit designed specifically to help you identify the areas of your life that need more balance and self care. It is a designed alliance that deepens your learning and forwards your action toward true, lasting growth. It's intentional and consist