Conflict (as noted in a previous post) is a topic too large for one sitting. Over time, I will attempt to highlight information, thoughts and concepts together for us as we continue in the people-helping profession.
Conflict is a common source of emotional (and sometimes physical) drainage for people. When things just aren't right between us and another person, we become consumed with feelings of frustration, anger, hopelessness, and stress. The amount of energy it takes to maintain these feelings takes away from the energy we could be devoting to helping others. That's why I am highlighting ways to manage conflict.
One way to manage conflict (or avoid it altogether) is through RAPPORT.
Rapport, as Barbara Pachter notes in her book, The Power of Positive Confrontation, is "a relationship of mutual trust and harmony achieved, in part, through common courtesy and practicing good etiquette."
She goes on to make a distinction between minor and major rapport. An example of minor rapport is saying "hello" to the cashier at the grocery store. No long-term relationship desired, but why not be friendly? Major rapport, by contrast, would be having a conversation with, and getting to know, a neighbor or someone you meet at a conference. An on-going relationship is desired.
This may seem a little elementary when you think about it. How can a little rapport help me avoid conflict?, you may ask. But it's a simple principle: You usually get back what you put it. When you are nice to someone, you indirectly honor them. While they may not consciously acknowledge it, they will feel (at least) a baseline of trust and like for you. Plus, when rapport is absent, it is almost undeniably noticed.
Bottom line: Be nice and take a genuine interest in the other person. It helps avoid conflict ahead of time.
Tim Stevens in LeadingSmart.com posted a great article RE raising kids. It seems from some informal research he did,
